The Mourinho Thread

[LDN Blue 7,903]

Plot twist: Mourinho did all this on purpose

[Tomo 21,681]

https://twitter.com/ChelsTransfer/status/633407010340339713

Plot twist: Mourinho did all this on purpose

Imagine if we pull of Stones, Witsel and Pedro now? The whole mood of the place will change.

We should reap the benefits off an extended break sooner rather than later, probably about the end of September, let's hope we can put a decent run of results on the board to keep us there or there abouts till then.

1-0 at WBA with a last minute goal of Azpis backside will be a good start.

[LDN Blue 7,903]

Imagine if we pull of Stones, Witsel and Pedro now? The whole mood of the place will change.

We should reap the benefits off an extended break sooner rather than later, probably about the end of September, let's hope we can put a decent run of results on the board to keep us there or there abouts till then.

1-0 at WBA with a last minute goal of Azpis backside will be a good start.

I mean I'd be completely blindsided and amazed if we made sufficient signings within the next two weeks! But Roman's no fool and I'm sure he's resisting that urge to implement the revolving door policy again, so I really hope he and the board will see sense!

[The Mak 4,459]

A nice Irish satirical article on Mourinho which is kind of spot on!

Jose Mourinho Uses Magician to Distract Media from Terrible Chelsea Performance

CHELSEA manager Jose Mourinho took the unprecedented step of hiring a professional magician to accompany him on the sideline as his side slumped to a 3-0 hiding against Manchester City.

It is believed the Chelsea boss did this in an effort to distract the media and the footballing public from the fact his team were rubbish.

While many believed Mourinho’s decision to substitute John Terry was the only ploy used to disguise the fact for the second week running his Chelsea side were abysmal, the former Real manager also brought out popular magician Dynamo to the technical area during the second half, fearing a City rout.

A number of Football Manager experts have praised the manager’s shielding of his side from criticism as Sky Sports dedicated over 6 hours to discussing John Terry and not Chelsea’s lifeless performance and the rest media almost universally thought Dynamo’s tricks were ‘absolutely ace’.

The Portuguese native strenuously denied claims that he had hired the amazing magician Dynamo to distract people from things on the pitch.

“This is simply not true, but I think yes, the magician is entertaining, I think you watched him, I think you enjoyed him, he made Cesc Fabregas disappear, you all enjoy, this is football,” Mourinho said as Dynamo continued his juggling act in the post-match press conference much to the delight of the media, “also John Terry is dead,” Mourinho added just to be sure no one would ask about the performance.

Mourinho’s statements were followed up with a flurry of questions regarding how Dynamo knew it was the three of hearts the media was thinking of and how he could have possibly predicted Chelsea’s 3-0 defeat, as the magician had astonishingly revealed a betting slip with the exact score written on it during the press conference.

“I watched the Chelsea game last week against Swansea,” Dynamo replied, giving absolutely nothing away.

Mourinho then calmly concluded his press conference by confirming he is ‘more persecuted than the Jews’ and in a veiled and cryptic appeal to Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich for more transfer funds Mourinho said “Roman, I need more transfer funds immediately”.

[kellzfresh 7,226]

Watching us against mancity got me thinking, why don't we use wings when we attack??

For some reason we always want to go through the middle, making our gameplay so slow and easy to defend against. If we play with more wingplay, we would create more chances easily by stretching the play and we would play at a faster tempo.

[Jase 43,479]

Chelsea transfers: Signings of AT LEAST three players approved by Roman Abramovich after sloppy start

[LDN Blue 7,903]

Watching us against mancity got me thinking, why don't we use wings when we attack??

For some reason we always want to go through the middle, making our gameplay so slow and easy to defend against. If we play with more wingplay, we would create more chances easily by stretching the play and we would play at a faster tempo.

Do you know the funniest thing about that? That was the City approach of the last few season, lack of any genuine width. For the money City spend, I have to give it to them because they strengthen exactly where they need to. Sterling for example, he now gives them genuine wing play along with Navas on the opposite flanks. Previous windows they've taken care to strengthen their central midfield by signing Fernando and Fernandinho (though for the life of me, I don't see why the former plays).

Hazard won't offer that wing play, his default is to cut inside and use trickery and dribbling to leave defenders for dead. Which is fine, but Willian is actually the same. We haven't had proper out and out wingers since Robben and Duff. Malouda was I guess, but not near the level we required.

[Tomo 21,681]

Chelsea transfers: Signings of AT LEAST three players approved by Roman Abramovich after sloppy start

If that happens and in future summer's we learn from this one and not stand still, this summer's dramas could be a good thing in the long run.

How hilarious would it be if by the end of September we hit the top of the league after all this? I think all our haters will have a breakdown

[Iggy Doonican 4,186]

If that happens and in future summer's we learn from this one and not stand still, this summer's dramas could be a good thing in the long run.

How hilarious would it be if by the end of September we hit the top of the league after all this? I think all our haters will have a breakdown

Yes but the words pinch and salt come to mind. Need more concrete evidence then a spurious article in the Mirror.

[Tomo 21,681]

Yes but the words pinch and salt come to mind. Need more concrete evidence then a spurious article in the Mirror.

I know, but yesterday was the lowest I've felt as a supporter since we lost at home to QPR if not the last days of AVB, I'm clinging on to anything atm.

[kellzfresh 7,226]

Do you know the funniest thing about that? That was the City approach of the last few season, lack of any genuine width. For the money City spend, I have to give it to them because they strengthen exactly where they need to. Sterling for example, he now gives them genuine wing play along with Navas on the opposite flanks. Previous windows they've taken care to strengthen their central midfield by signing Fernando and Fernandinho (though for the life of me, I don't see why the former plays).

Hazard won't offer that wing play, his default is to cut inside and use trickery and dribbling to leave defenders for dead. Which is fine, but Willian is actually the same. We haven't had proper out and out wingers since Robben and Duff. Malouda was I guess, but not near the level we required.

It's annoying really. Hazard cuts inside, then the leftback is right-footed so he comes inside too. Willian also stays inside so the only winger we have is ivanovic lol.

City just stayed wide and created so many chances from crosses to aguero. We on the other hand have this unnecessary urge to play through the middle like against PSG. Slow passing, slow movement because the middle is obviously congested.

We need our wingers and fullbacks to have some linkup play between them so that we stretch play. We're the only top team in the world that doesn't play from wings at all.

[ice-boy 165]

Chelsea transfers: Signings of AT LEAST three players approved by Roman Abramovich after sloppy start

Finally. It's going to be interesting.

[Iggy Doonican 4,186]

I know, but yesterday was the lowest I've felt as a supporter since we lost at home to QPR if not the last days of AVB, I'm clinging on to anything atm.

Fair enough mate not trying to piss on anyone's chips. I'm old enough to remember getting beaten by the likes of Shrewsbury and Bristol Rovers. So it's siege mentality for all Chelsea fans especially on this forum. WHEN OUR BACKS ARE AGAINST THE WALL WE COME OUT OUT FIGHTING WHY?.

WE ARE THE FAMOUS CFC AND WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHERE EVER YOU MAY BE WE ARE THE FAMOUS CFC.

Carefree everyone.

[LDN Blue 7,903]

It's annoying really. Hazard cuts inside, then the leftback is right-footed so he comes inside too. Willian also stays inside so the only winger we have is ivanovic lol.

City just stayed wide and created so many chances from crosses to aguero. We on the other hand have this unnecessary urge to play through the middle like against PSG. Slow passing, slow movement because the middle is obviously congested.

We need our wingers and fullbacks to have some linkup play between them so that we stretch play. We're the only top team in the world that doesn't play from wings at all.

See that's why I understood Mourinho's decision to take Terry off and bring on Zouma. It freed up Azpilicueta and finally we had a full-back who was actually playing like a modern fullback. So Mourinho does want to use our fullbacks as attackers but our defensive set up just doesn't allow it. I hope that in his intent to sign Stones and use Zouma a lot more we'll see our full backs making those overlapping runs.

This is the same discussion they had on Monday Night Football tonight lol. Gary Neville highlighted the relationship that Kolarov-Sterling and Navas-Sagna have that was so influential.

It would truly be great to see Rahman and Hazard spurring a relationships which means our left side of attack will be much more aggressive and give us better options to score.

[LDN Blue 7,903]

Fair enough mate not trying to piss on anyone's chips. I'm old enough to remember getting beaten by the likes of Shrewsbury and Bristol Rovers. So it's siege mentality for all Chelsea fans especially on this forum. WHEN OUR BACKS ARE AGAINST THE WALL WE COME OUT OUT FIGHTING WHY?.

because WE ARE THE FAMOUS CFC AND WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHERE EVER YOU MAY BE because WE ARE THE FAMOUS CFC.

Preach mate!

It's amusing how quick our rivals are to pile it on, how we've started our season. Arsenal fans couldn't get enough of it! Well we'll see who's laughing at the end of the season when we're fighting for the title and on several other fronts while Arsenal are content to finish 4th

Up the Blues!

[kmk108 1,186]

Why not try Hazard as an AM/CF and get a proper left winger? Hazard cuts in and loves to use both feet to take on defenders. He has the best burst speed for it, so why not let him lose in the off center for some creativity?

[CMS 382]

Jesus calm down everybody - we all get that nobody is pleased about our start to the season

Luckily for us a season is played over 38 games - not 2.

Chill out a little and stop fighting each other

I'm not bothered by the likes of him. He's on the ignore list. This is forum to discuss and share opinions. Everyone is free to share theirs. No one has a right to tell anyone to muzzle up, because they don't share the same views, then its no longer a forum. We can agree to disagree.There are no bosses here. That said, I'm off to respond to my fellow Chelsea fans.

[CMS 382]

Why not try Hazard as an AM/CF and get a proper left winger? Hazard cuts in and loves to use both feet to take on defenders. He has the best burst speed for it, so why not let him lose in the off center for some creativity?

Since he hardly defends, it will create a hole in the spinal column of the team. Most coaches prefer the absence of defensive input to come from the sides. First thing you are taught in a tactical game is to show your attackers to the outside, there you will have another defender, which is the touchlines.