The Mourinho Thread

[Blue Colored Sky 1,807]

Instead we get if it was penalty....

Or "What do you think of Sterling interview ?", "Any comment on Pardew head-butting the player ?" "Why do think David Moyes was sacked"

and classic

"Who do you want to win the Premier League, Manchester City or Liverpool ? A lot of neutrals want Liverpool because of the anniversary of Hillsborough ..."

[xPetrCechx 13,563]

José Mourinho's 10 best put-downs

*** 'I have a problem. I’m getting better at everything'

*** "I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea."

(Perhaps Mourinho's most famous and persistent victim, the Arsenal boss received this acidic insult in October 2005 after questioning whether champions Chelsea had lost "the big belief" after a poor run.)

*** "How do you say cheating in Catalan? Can Messi be suspended for acting? Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theatres and this boy has learned very well. He's learned play-acting."

(Mourinho was left incensed after Asier del Horno's dismissal (and Messi's role in it) helped Barcelona defeat Chelsea 2-1 in the 2005/6 Champions League Round of 16 first leg at Stamford Bridge. The 18-year-old Messi's response? "I don't do theatre. I don't attach any importance to that because we know what he's like, that he likes talking, he likes to say things and heat up the atmosphere.")

*** "Guardiola is a fantastic coach but I have won two Champions Leagues. He has won [only] one Champions League and that is one that would embarrass me. I would be ashamed to have won it with the scandal of Stamford Bridge and if he wins it this year it will be with the scandal of the Bernabéu. I hope one day Guardiola has the chance of winning a proper Champions League, a brilliant, clean championship with no scandal."

(In April 2011, Mourinho's Real Madrid and Guardiola's Barcelona faced off four times in 18 days. After a 2-0 Barcelona victory at the Bernabéu in the Champions League semi-final first leg, Mourinho cracked. He accused UEFA of plotting to ensure Barcelona made the final and tried to belittle the achievements of his adversary.)

*** "Sometimes you see beautiful people with no brains. Sometimes you have ugly people who are intelligent, like scientists. Our pitch is a bit like that. From the top it's a disgrace but the ball rolls at normal speed."

(In 2006, playing at Stamford Bridge was a bit like a visit to the beach. We're not sure José was too fussed, however.)

*** "I am no longer Chelsea coach, and I do not have to defend them any more, but I think it is correct if I say Drogba is a diver. Drogba, Ronaldo, Torres and Van Persie are the divers. Who dives more? Who has won more penalties in recent years? But English football is the one that criticises the divers the most."

(Famous for his fierce loyalty to his players, Mourinho proved that isn't the case once he's in a new gig. His talismanic no11 wasn't safe once he was installed as Inter boss in 2008.)

*** "I thought he was going to thank me for the title I gave him. Ask all the Inter fans what they think of me and him."

(It's probably safe to assume Mourinho nor his great chum Sir Alex Ferguson are particular admirers of the Spaniard's work. After Benítez had steered Inter to glory in the 2010 FIFA Club World Cup, Mourinho was quick to praise, well, himself. Mourinho, of course, had led Inter to an unprecedented Italian treble the season before Benítez inherited his squad.)

*** “Ranieri? I guess he’s right with what he said I am very demanding of myself and I have to win to be sure of things. This is why I have won so many trophies in my career. Ranieri on the other hand has the mentality of someone who doesn’t need to win. He is almost 70 years old. He has won a Supercup and another small trophy and he is too old to change his mentality. He’s old and he hasn’t won anything. I studied Italian five hours a day for many months to ensure I could communicate with the players, media and fans. Ranieri had been in England for five years and still struggled to say ‘good morning’ and ‘good afternoon.'"

(Fun fact: former Chelsea Claudio Ranieri was 56-years-old when Mourinho took him to town in 2008. Then in charge at Juventus, Ranieri had said: “I am not like Mourinho, I don’t have to win things to be sure of myself,” in a press conference after a 3-0 defeat to Hamburg, prompting this remarkable tirade)

*** "You may as well put a cow in the middle of the pitch. And then stop the game because there was a cow. You cannot do just anything in football. You have to defend with your 10 men, put the 10 men on the goal line, park the bus, but football needs a ball. Not two or zero. Do what you can to win but not everything. Sometimes there were zero balls and that cuts the dynamic of the team who is trying to win the game."

(Back in October 2014, everyone was getting rather excited about Chelsea going the whole Premier League season unbeaten. Until they pitched up at St James' Park at were promptly beaten 2-1.)

*** “Many coaches have won it more than once but there is only one club that was leading 3-0 in the final and managed to lose it. [sir Alex] Ferguson has also won it twice. He is 68 and we’ll see how many I have bagged in 23 years.”

(Like a particularly jealous boyfriend, it seems Mourinho isn't fond of anyone else who gets to go out with Chelsea. Carlo Ancelotti - who later had the temerity to get into bed with another Mourinho employer in Madrid - said Mourinho "lacked respect" after the Special One's stormed the pitch in an Inter-Sampdoria match in 2009. Mourinho countered with this beautifully barbed reference to Milan's 2005 Ancelotti-helmed Champions League final collapse against Liverpool.)

*** "I was manager for the first time in 2000 but, before that, I was assistant in big clubs and with big managers and coaching the best players in the world, so I was 30 and I was coaching Ronaldo, not this one [Cristiano], the real one, the Brazilian Ronaldo."

(Ahead of the wonderfully spurious International Champions Cup final in August 2013, Mourinho was asked about working with world class players. Newly returned at Chelsea after his acrimonious departure from Real Madrid, he struck this little dig at his former star.)

[xPetrCechx 13,563]

Exclusive interview: The Chelsea manager talks religion, 'fearing nothing' and Machiavelli. Plus, he finally reveals the one thing he and title rival Arsene Wenger actually agree on

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/managers/jose-mourinho/11519921/Jose-Mourinho-I-have-a-problem.-Im-getting-better-at-everything.html

*Warning: Very Very Very Long

[pHaRaOn 2,131]

He spoke about a wide range of topics and that's the thing you picked up on?!

Like Jose said himself in this interview: "Every football fan, he says with a weary shake of the head, is a manager".

[illmatic 901]

I have seen that Mourinho put Ozil in his favorite XI. I Totally sure that if Mourinho can, he would bring Ozil here, and I don't know If I'm the only, but I too would do this. Ozil is the perfect CAM for Mou style.

[The Chels 2,502]

I have seen that Mourinho put Ozil in his favorite XI. I Totally sure that if Mourinho can, he would bring Ozil here, and I don't know If I'm the only, but I too would do this. Ozil is the perfect CAM for Mou style.

It's the Telegraph who chose that team rather than Mourinho himself.

[illmatic 901]

It's the Telegraph who chose that team rather than Mourinho himself.

Really? I Don't saw the original article, but in another sports news pages, I readed that is the XI chosen by him.

[The Chels 2,502]

Really? I Don't saw the original article, but in another sports news pages, I readed that is the XI chosen by him.

Yep, here's the original piece: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/managers/jose-mourinho/11524168/Jose-Mourinhos-all-time-XI-in-pictures.html

It was misinterpreted on social media as being Mourinho's chosen 11.

[iseah100 5,612]

What a fucking XI that is.

[DH1988 1,273]

Unsure how Ramos gets in there but otherwise, what a squad.

[DYC. 7,542]

"I think,” the Chelsea manager José Mourinho says, “I have a problem, which is I’m getting better at everything related to my job since I started. There has been evolution in many different areas – the way I read the game; the way I prepare the game; the way I train; the methodology..."

Is there a video in which he says this?

[MrExcalibur100 7,124]

Is there a video in which he says this?

It was in his interview with the Telegraph, there's no video. His comments are a stone cold lie anyway. Just Mourinho sucking his own dick as he usually does.

[DYC. 7,542]

It was in his interview with the Telegraph, there's no video. His comments are a stone cold lie anyway. Just Mourinho sucking his own dick as he usually does.

Too bad. I find stuff like that very entertaining to watch.

[MrExcalibur100 7,124]

Jose needs to humble himself, stop sucking his own dick and realize he needs an attacking coach, or Roman and the board should make that decision for him. We can't be relying on individual quality all the time. I'm seeing no output from the manager on the pitch, instead Mourinho is busy making self-aggrandizing comments about himself to the Telegraph? There has been an evolution in many different areas" Where's the evidence on the pitch? I didn't see it. Neither did Roman I'm sure.

The regression in the football over the last few months despite the fact we have technically better players than we've had in a long time has been staggering to say the least. 4 or 5 games we're we've had 0 shots on target for an entire half. His obsession with playing some certain players is cringeworthy. Ivanovic must have some naked pictures of him or something? He was diabolical today, to busy giving banter back to the crowd than being relevant on the pitch. But that's another story.

This team will never be truly great if we don't improve the way we play football by bringing in a specialist in that area. It's not as simple as just buying players. Even if we had Reus and Veratti in place of Willian and Ramires out there today, I suspect we'll still have seen the same shit. Dross like Ramires and Oscar and Remy's unfortunate injury doesn't help, but we have enough quality on the pitch to be much better. There is something in football called attacking coordination/organised attacks. Too many times we look like a bunch of individuals in attack, clueless on what to do next. That's on the manager, whether we love Jose or not.

Anyway, 3 points, I'm happy, I really am. But the future isn't as bright as I thought it would be. Thank goodness we didn't face Barcelona. PSG battered us but Barcelona would have stuck the knife in. We would have parked the bus (predictably) and they would have absolutely massacred us.

[Rom2013 446]

Mourinho needs to humble himself, stop sucking his own dick and realize he needs an attacking coach, or Roman and the board should make that decision for him. We can't be relying on individual quality all the time. I'm seeing no output from the manager on the pitch, instead Mourinho is busy making self-aggrandizing comments about himself to the Telegraph? "There has been an evolution in many different areas" Where's the evidence on the pitch? I didn't see it. Neither did Roman I'm sure.

The regression in the football over the last few months despite the fact we have technically better players than we've had in a long time has been staggering to say the least. 4 or 5 games we're we've had 0 shots on target for an entire half. His obsession with playing some certain players is cringeworthy. Ivanovic must have some naked pictures of him or something? He was diabolical today, to busy giving banter back to the crowd than being relevant on the pitch. But that's another story.

This team will never be truly great if we don't improve the way we play football by bringing in a specialist in that area. It's not as simple as just buying players. Even if we had Reus and Veratti in place of Willian and Ramires out there today, I suspect we'll still have seen the same shit. Dross like Ramires and Oscar and Remy's unfortunate injury doesn't help, but we have enough quality on the pitch to be much better. There is something in football called attacking coordination/organised attacks. Too many times we look like a bunch of individuals in attack, clueless on what to do next. That's on the manager, whether we love Jose or not.

Anyway, 3 points, I'm happy, I really am. But the future isn't as bright as I thought it would be. Thank goodness we didn't face Barcelona. PSG battered us but Barcelona would have stuck the knife in. We would have parked the bus (predictably) and they would have absolutely massacred us.

Oh... those marvelous moments when CHelsea was fighting for a CHampions League spot

First Mourinho needs to ask Abrmovich where the hell is the decent stadium we need to have, or where is the financial balance or the money to buy players.

If anyone has something to do is the club not Mourinho. Mourinho is winning titles even with all the problems this club has.

[edetarod 2,155]

Mourinho needs to humble himself, stop sucking his own dick and realize he needs an attacking coach, or Roman and the board should make that decision for him. We can't be relying on individual quality all the time. I'm seeing no output from the manager on the pitch, instead Mourinho is busy making self-aggrandizing comments about himself to the Telegraph? "There has been an evolution in many different areas" Where's the evidence on the pitch? I didn't see it. Neither did Roman I'm sure.

The regression in the football over the last few months despite the fact we have technically better players than we've had in a long time has been staggering to say the least. 4 or 5 games we're we've had 0 shots on target for an entire half. His obsession with playing some certain players is cringeworthy. Ivanovic must have some naked pictures of him or something? He was diabolical today, to busy giving banter back to the crowd than being relevant on the pitch. But that's another story.

This team will never be truly great if we don't improve the way we play football by bringing in a specialist in that area. It's not as simple as just buying players. Even if we had Reus and Veratti in place of Willian and Ramires out there today, I suspect we'll still have seen the same shit. Dross like Ramires and Oscar and Remy's unfortunate injury doesn't help, but we have enough quality on the pitch to be much better. There is something in football called attacking coordination/organised attacks. Too many times we look like a bunch of individuals in attack, clueless on what to do next. That's on the manager, whether we love Jose or not.

Anyway, 3 points, I'm happy, I really am. But the future isn't as bright as I thought it would be. Thank goodness we didn't face Barcelona. PSG battered us but Barcelona would have stuck the knife in. We would have parked the bus (predictably) and they would have absolutely massacred us.

agree about everything except about the Barcelona

we will never get massacred by them, they're our bitches

[MrExcalibur100 7,124]

agree about everything except about the Barcelona

we will never get massacred by them, they're our bitches

This team isn't built to defend like those other teams, you should know that by now. We are nowhere near as solid as we once were and Barcelona have more quality in their attack than in the past.

They'll batter us like PSG did in Paris, only they'll be more clinical.

[Fernando 6,454]

Mourinho needs to humble himself, stop sucking his own dick and realize he needs an attacking coach, or Roman and the board should make that decision for him. We can't be relying on individual quality all the time. I'm seeing no output from the manager on the pitch, instead Mourinho is busy making self-aggrandizing comments about himself to the Telegraph? "There has been an evolution in many different areas" Where's the evidence on the pitch? I didn't see it. Neither did Roman I'm sure.

The regression in the football over the last few months despite the fact we have technically better players than we've had in a long time has been staggering to say the least. 4 or 5 games we're we've had 0 shots on target for an entire half. His obsession with playing some certain players is cringeworthy. Ivanovic must have some naked pictures of him or something? He was diabolical today, to busy giving banter back to the crowd than being relevant on the pitch. But that's another story.

This team will never be truly great if we don't improve the way we play football by bringing in a specialist in that area. It's not as simple as just buying players. Even if we had Reus and Veratti in place of Willian and Ramires out there today, I suspect we'll still have seen the same shit. Dross like Ramires and Oscar and Remy's unfortunate injury doesn't help, but we have enough quality on the pitch to be much better. There is something in football called attacking coordination/organised attacks. Too many times we look like a bunch of individuals in attack, clueless on what to do next. That's on the manager, whether we love Jose or not.

Anyway, 3 points, I'm happy, I really am. But the future isn't as bright as I thought it would be. Thank goodness we didn't face Barcelona. PSG battered us but Barcelona would have stuck the knife in. We would have parked the bus (predictably) and they would have absolutely massacred us.

An attacking coach like Pellegrini would be awesome.

Mourinho is good with defensive team and counter attacking.

If he was to add an attacking mind like that it would complete his style.

But that would be hard as you mention because Mourinho ego.

Not to mention this is not a popular thing in this sport of an offensive and defensive coach as it is in the NFL.