The English Football Thread

[Atomiswave 6,072]

SH must take revenge for that semi final they lost, do us a solid

[Milan 17,853]

Oh look another fucking gift from the pathetic Saints. Red card in minute 10 for those fuckers.

[DDA 9,690]

Southampton are such a dead team. 

[Atomiswave 6,072]

27 minutes ago, DDA said:

Southampton are such a dead team. 

Just do us a solid here, even a draw is good for us. Though he is decent I never understood why a few of us more than wanted their manager to be at Chels

[Nero 1,838]

10man Southampton lead Leicester. I did not expect this. 

And now, JUST PARK THE BUS! 

[Milan 17,853]

1-1 now

don’t get your hopes high, Saints are a joke

[milka 3,346]

Jose Mourinho with 2 Chelsea posts in 2 days now. He loves Chelsea and will always be a Chelsea man.

 

[Laylabelle 9,351]

Meh to whatever Leicester do..drop points fantastic..more worried about teams behind us.. and about us having moments. That we could do without!

Annoying we could be comfy but instead a few silly games and bamm. Dragged in it

[Nero 1,838]

4 minutes ago, milka said:

Jose Mourinho with 2 Chelsea posts in 2 days now. He loves Chelsea and will always be a Chelsea man.

 

I didn't even know he had a damn Instagram 

[milka 3,346]

Yep he have insta 

https://www.instagram.com/josemourinho/?hl=bg

[Nero 1,838]

3 minutes to go. Come on Saints!

[chippy 342]

Big result for us! Just need to win tomorrow and be right back in with a chance of catching Leicester. They've got as tough a run in as us too, which makes top four all the more open now 

[Magic Lamps 11,653]

2 minutes ago, chippy said:

Big result for us! Just need to win tomorrow and be right back in with a chance of catching Leicester. They've got as tough a run in as us too, which makes top four all the more open now 

yes!

but westham on the other hand have the piss-easiest run-in i have ever seen. Every single team they play apart from maybe EL outsiders Everton are comfortably on the beach  the time they play them while we have basically only big games left. Will be an uphill struggle still to secure top 4 with all the cup games in between.

[DDA 9,690]

If we win tomorrow and beat Leicester.. we will be in a great position.

[Pizy 18,368]

3 minutes ago, DDA said:

If we win tomorrow and beat Leicester.. we will be in a great position.

Knowing us we’ll lose to Fulham in embarrassing fashion and then beat Real Madrid and Leicester comfortably. 😏

[DDA 9,690]

57 minutes ago, Pizy said:

Knowing us we’ll lose to Fulham in embarrassing fashion and then beat Real Madrid and Leicester comfortably. 😏

Knowing us you're probably right. It would be quite the accomplishment if we win ALL of our remaining games.

Edited April 30, 2021 by DDA

[Vesper 28,779]

 

Friday April 30 2021 Football Nerd

It's official: Premier League teams are struggling at home like never before By Daniel Zeqiri There has been much speculation about the effect of empty stadiums on Premier League grounds and the extent to which home advantage has been eroded. The results are: this season has produced fewer home goals and points per game than any other Premier League campaign as we approach the campaign's final stretch. There are a host of possible explanations: increased comfort of away teams, no home-crowd pressure on referees (though Var may have negated this anyway) or home teams not being urged to throw caution to the wind in the closing stages of games. Liverpool, Arsenal, Leicester, Everton and Brighton have all struggled badly - even Manchester City have not been immune. City have lost three home games, the same as in their four Premier League-winning seasons combined. In this week's Football Nerd, I delve into the numbers and ponder if things will return to something like normal when fans return.   Looking for up-to-the-minute coverage, live match updates, dedicated newsletters and inside stories? Get a 12-month Telegraph Sport subscription today for £39.     The best of this week's coverage Tottenham's manager search: Where do Spurs turn next after some of their top targets turned them down? Imitation game: Mikel Arteta is trying to play like Man City - but Arsenal do not have the players Transformed: How Riyad Mahrez became Manchester City's lead Renaissance man Analysis: Sadio Mane's slump at Liverpool is down to one key factor Loose cannon: Dani Ceballos red card encapsulates an erratic Arsenal career 'What’s exciting for the country is - alongside Manchester City’s Phil Foden - Mount can redefine the global view of what makes a ‘typical’ English footballer.'   Jamie Carragher column: Why Mason Mount's gifts were obvious when I coached him at 16     This week's best stat   6 Amazingly for a team on the verge of a Champions League final, no Chelsea player has more than six league goals this season.     The week in a picture CREDIT: GETTY IMAGES PSG's collapsing wall: Thom Gibbs explores why that is one of football's cardinal sins.     Other newsletters you might like... Arsenal Briefing | Weekly insight and expert analysis from Sam Dean. Sign up Chelsea Briefing | Matt Law with expert analysis and insight every week. Sign up Liverpool Briefing | Chris Bascombe's weekly insight and expert analysis. Sign up Manchester United Briefing | Weekly insight and expert analysis from James Ducker. Sign up

[Vesper 28,779]

The four-day boycott of social media disgraces and content hucksters    You obviously know. Photograph: Andy Rain/EPA Scott Murray OUR SHOW OF SOLIDARITY: THREE PARAGRAPHS CONTAINING NOTHING As a mere garden-variety email, The Fiver doesn’t technically qualify as a social media. Quibble over the strict definitions all you want, but we simply don’t tick all the boxes. For a start, people read, pay attention to and enjoy social media. Unlike social media, The Fiver cannot slake your thirst for pictures of household animals cutely peering out of domestic sanitary facilities. And there’s no point asking The Fiver to join in the latest late-night reach-around as you all applaud each other’s staggering genius, we’re halfway through this bottle of Fistfight for a start, plus the snooker’s on, and in any case there are plenty of comment writers, panel-show contestants and phone-in hosts out there who will happily field that sort of thing. Guardian Sport joins social media boycott in campaign against hate online Read more Having said all that, it would be remiss of The Fiver to ignore the upcoming four-day sporting boycott of social media disgraces and content hucksters such as Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Football clubs, organisations and players across the land are removing themselves from the aforementioned platforms in a symbolic attempt to clean up the fibre-optic sewer of abuse that sluices the dregs of humanity into our homes 24-7. This extremely welcome and frankly long overdue show of silent solidarity begins on Friday afternoon at 3pm BST and ideally would end sometime in the year 2525, but in actuality finishes at one minute before midnight on Monday, which is a start, and we’ll grab what we can with both hands. “This boycott signifies our collective anger,” says Kick It Out chairperson Sanjay Bhandari. “We are making a symbolic gesture to those with power. We need you to act. We need you to create change.” The Fiver is all in with this plan, so much so that earlier today we asked The Man if we could down tools in order to show our support, and absolutely not so we’d be free to get stuck into the remainder of that bottle of 73.8% ABV turps-flavoured beverage and watch Wilson-Murphy from the Crucible. The Man didn’t fall for our wheeze, though never let it be said that he isn’t open to compromise. “Three paragraphs as usual,” he bellowed, “but you can chip off at 2.59pm, and given the serious nature of the subject, don’t feel obliged to come up with any witty jokes.” As The Fiver sailed back through The Man’s office door along a perfect parabola towards our desk, one eyebrow was slowly raised. LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE! Join Scott Murray from 8pm BST for hot Premier League MBM coverage of Southampton 0-0 Leicester.  Here’s Brenny. Photograph: Plumb Images/Leicester City/Getty Images QUOTE OF THE DAY “It is critical this is not a one-off. It should be viewed as part of a broader collective campaign that does not stop at punishing those with abhorrent views or who troll for the sake of trolling, but explores more broadly the root causes of racism, sexism, homophobia and other forms of abuse, and looks to use the popularity and power of football to drive the changes needed more generally in society to eradicate those views for good” – why Suzanne Wrack is joining the social media disgrace boycott. RECOMMENDED LISTENING Here’s the latest Football Weekly Extra podcast, on Big Cup and fan power. FIVER LETTERS “After reading Wednesday’s missive, I felt somebody should ask you if you feel Hennes VIII might be regarded as the Greatest GOAT Of All Time?” – Chris Weaver. “I am not sure which I enjoyed most from yesterday’s Quote of the Day. The fact there really is a team called Cape Coast Mysterious Ebusua Dwarfs, or the fact that the manager of their vanquished opponents was able to throw his players under the bus in a manner that might have made even José Mourinho wince. At the risk of making your output both interesting and funny, can we have more of this?” – Colin Reed. “Re: tales of referee misadventures (Fiver letters passim). It brought to mind a game I reffed horribly hungover at uni some years ago, when I rarely blew the whistle as it hurt. The lack of tooting probably didn’t help as, late on, I had to send someone off. I then realised I had no cards on me. Fortunately, it was such a nasty lunge he thought he was giving it the big one by storming off before I could card him. I definitely had a watch, but blew up early. PS: your ‘well worth a watch’ (yesterday’s last line) was bang on – thanks for that” – Dan Ashley. “About 20 years ago, when I was in my early-50s, I was playing in a Co-Ed league in California. I came on as a sub wearing the team jersey and my cut-off Levi’s bespattered with house paint. The portly ref, a pompous Brit, scolded me for the shorts and gave me a yellow card. I told him we’d speak after the game. The match over, he was walking off the field, so I yelled to him: ‘How do they look from here?’ I turned around, dropped the offending kit and mooned him. I was banned from the league for the rest of the season” – Hanford Woods. Send your letters to [email protected]. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Hanford Woods. NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Albion Rovers striker David Cox says he is retiring after allegedly being mocked by a Stenhousemuir player over his mental health. Ronald Koeman is still steaming after being sent off as Barcelona blew a shot at going top of La Liga, losing 2-1 at home to Granada. “They said it was for disrespecting the fourth official,” he fumed. “I’d like to know what I’m supposed to have said. He’s the one who is rude towards me.”  Koeman gets told to do Ron. Photograph: Quality Sport Images/Getty Images Chirpy C0ckerel’s odds of getting the Spurs job have increased after Erik ten Hag joined Julian Nagelsmann in ensuring Daniel Levy’s shortlist lives up to its name by signing a new Ajax deal. The European groups for 2023 World Cup qualifying are in. Liverpool midfielder Rachel Furness reckons it was a lack of on-pitch nous that led to them missing out on promotion back to the WSL, not underinvestment. “We are getting invested in but part of our job is to perform on the pitch so if we are not doing that it reflects badly,” she sighed. And Newcastle boss Bernard Cribbins has warned Mike Ashley off placing whizzy forward Allan Saint-Maximin in one of his sports shop’s bargain bins. “The last thing we want to be doing is selling our better players,” he parped. STILL WANT MORE? There’s a new Pat Nevin book out and, if this review is anything to go by, bookshops will be rammed with Dukla Prague away shirt-wearing hipsters as they rush to buy it. Come for the 10 things to look out for in the Premier League this weekend, stay for the epic composite image. Aston Villa’s Mana Iwabuchi gets her chat on with Sean Carroll about trying to inspire Japanese girls to play football and her feelings about the Olympics going ahead in a pandemic.  Yes, Mana. Photograph: Neville Williams/Aston Villa FC/Getty Images Bolton were a “big ship to turn around’ but after a sorry slide through the divisions they’re on the rise again, reports Ben Fisher. One for Roy Keane here: Jonathan Liew on how Kyle Walker made his case for greatness against PSG. Emi Buendía tells Ben Fisher how his silky skills made Lionel Messi coo in appreciation and what an instant return to the Premier League means for Norwich. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! LONG WEEKEND. TAKE CARE ALL, BACK ON TUESDAY