The English Football Thread

[Blues Forever 1,232]

Gerrard at Everton would be hilarious. 🤣

[DH1988 1,333]

2 hours ago, Blues Forever said:

What an underwhelming lists. 😂 

What is happening, Carlo?? How has this happened!?

 

~edit~ Don't get me wrong, I love the guy and that eyebrow of his, but I was very glad when we changed it up, tactically wanting, I am genuinely shocked shocked shocked that Real have gone there.

Edited June 1, 2021 by DH1988

[NikkiCFC 8,112]

As I said, Wolves can only go after Portuguese coach.

[DH1988 1,333]

Be very surprised if Poch goes back to Spurs and ultimately I’ll feel very sorry for Kane because they’ll have spent the compensation for Poch, rumoured to be £10m in order to save selling Kane, guilt trip him into staying yet again. I can even see Spurs letting Aurier go back to PSG to avoid paying the comp to PSG for Poch.

 

[Vesper 29,335]

Carlo Ancelotti explains leaving Everton for Real Madrid as departure confirmed

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/carlo-ancelotti-real-madrid-breaking-20718526

 

Everton have confirmed that Carlo Ancelotti has left the club to take over at Real Madrid.

Ancelotti says the chance to return to the Bernabeu was an "unexpected opportunity" that he could not turn down.

In a statement issued this evening, Everton have thanked the Italian for his time at the club which began in December 2019.

Everton say they will begin the search for Ancelotti's successor "immediately".

Ancelotti said: “I would like to thank the Board of Directors, the players, and the Evertonians for the tremendous support they have all given me during my time at the Club.

“I have complete respect for everyone associated with Everton and hope they can achieve the exciting opportunities they have in front of them.

“While I have enjoyed being at Everton I have been presented with an unexpected opportunity which I believe is the right move for me and my family at this time.”

[DH1988 1,333]

5 minutes ago, Vesper said:

Carlo Ancelotti explains leaving Everton for Real Madrid as departure confirmed

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/carlo-ancelotti-real-madrid-breaking-20718526

 

Everton have confirmed that Carlo Ancelotti has left the club to take over at Real Madrid.

Ancelotti says the chance to return to the Bernabeu was an "unexpected opportunity" that he could not turn down.

In a statement issued this evening, Everton have thanked the Italian for his time at the club which began in December 2019.

Everton say they will begin the search for Ancelotti's successor "immediately".

Ancelotti said: “I would like to thank the Board of Directors, the players, and the Evertonians for the tremendous support they have all given me during my time at the Club.

“I have complete respect for everyone associated with Everton and hope they can achieve the exciting opportunities they have in front of them.

“While I have enjoyed being at Everton I have been presented with an unexpected opportunity which I believe is the right move for me and my family at this time.”

What seriously is Florentino’s thinking here? That if they get banned from UCL then Carlo will just muddle on? Which is true, but still, what message does that send to the squad? I can’t imagine they are thrilled with the appointment.

[Blues Forever 1,232]

1 hour ago, DH1988 said:

What seriously is Florentino’s thinking here? That if they get banned from UCL then Carlo will just muddle on? Which is true, but still, what message does that send to the squad? I can’t imagine they are thrilled with the appointment.

Think most of their squad quite happy with Ancelotti. He is their 2nd most respected coach in the last decade.

[Vesper 29,335]

Chased naked over fields of broken glass by a cackling Thomas Tuchel    David James hasn’t got a late call up. He’s hosting a silent disco at Wembley to celebrate the England squad announcement, it says here. Photograph: David Parry/PA Scott Murray THE FIVER’S LATEST BID FOR THE PULITZER At 6.45pm on Saturday evening, the Fiver squinted slightly, adjusted its glasses, tilted the piece of paper it was holding in order to catch a little more light, and eventually came to the conclusion that, yes, he really has done that. Again. Oh Pep! It’s a dance the Fiver will be performing again later today, when Gareth Southgate unveils his 26-man England squad for Euro Not 2020 at the slightly unfortunate time of 5pm. Erm. To be fair to the naturally cautious Southgate, he’s extremely unlikely to name a squad without any holding midfielders in it, with a view to sending a team out in a formation that came to him after that fever dream in which he was chased naked over fields of broken glass by José Mourinho, Jürgen Klopp, Mauricio Pochettino and a cackling Thomas Tuchel. Southgate isn’t totally risk-averse, though, and seems determined to gamble on Harry Maguire, who has knack, and Jordan Henderson, who hasn’t played a single minute of football since Liverpool got good again. Oh Gaz! The Fiver isn’t feeling this. England’s Euro 2020 squad: Greenwood withdraws, no Ward-Prowse or Lingard Read more The expected omission of dead-ball supremo James Ward-Prowse and the in-form Jesse Lingard will almost certainly force the Fiver into more nose-wrinkling and spectacle readjustment, though the mood music sounds more encouraging for Trent Alexander-Arnold, whose absence on the list would elevate the Fiver to a new realm of performative disdain, perhaps involving ear steam and a revolving bow tie. We’ll know what Southgate’s done for sure at 5pm today, and the Fiver will tell you all about it at 5pm tomorrow. We’ll also have more on the big fire at the Reichstag, as well as the latest from Dallas where the motorcade carrying the president, smiling and waving, has just swung a left on to Dealey Plaza. LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE Join Barry Glendenning for hot name-by-name coverage of Gareth Southgate’s England Euro Not 2020 squad announcement, starting right about now. QUOTE OF THE DAY “With his line-up, [Guardiola] stole [Big Cup] from the club and the fans and he has to rightly listen to the harsh criticism from all sides. The players will doubt him after that final. He had to try something again, present an imaginary ingenuity at the worst possible moment, and totally deserved to lose” – Lothar Matthäus doesn’t pull any punches with his verdict on Pep Guardiola’s Big Cup final selection. FIVER LETTERS “The Fiver has always been pretty fair with Gareth Southgate, even to the extent of not taking liberties with his penchant for waistcoats. However the respect is clearly not reciprocated. How frustrating it must be for a teatime football blog that the England squad will be announced at 5pm tonight” – John Myles. “If the Europa Conference thingy is, as Alistair Moffat (Friday’s letters) mentioned, a pointless exercise and nobody will be interested after three games, shouldn’t it be called the Europa Full Members’ Cup?” – Andrew Want. “The Europa Conference doo-dah is not really big, is it? With no disrespect to either Tottenham, Partizan Tirana or any other likely winners [Spurs? – Fiver Ed], I feel that Small Vase does the job” – Jonathan McKinley. “How about Big Waste? You must admit, it has a certain ring to it” – Hanif Khan. “Regarding the Europa Conference thingy. Big Crock?” – Jon Millard. “At least two recent missives have mentioned renaming ‘the Europa Conference thingy’ [make that three – Fiver Ed]. I think they may have found a solution: introducing the Europa Conference Thingy” –Ike Proud. “A big blow for fans of nominative determinism as both The Strongest and Always Ready finished bottom of their Copa Libertadores groups” – Noble Francis. Send your letters to [email protected], or tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner receives a copy of A.D. Stephenson’s footballing comedy-thriller novel, A Cloud Can Weigh A Million Pounds. Congratulations to … Ike Proud. More copies up for grabs this week! RECOMMENDED LISTENING It’s a bank holiday Football Weekly! Max and Barry are joined by Barney Ronay and Jonathan Liew to talk Big Cup, Euro Not 2020 and play-off finals. Listen here! RECOMMENDED BOOKING Speaking of which, tickets are available now for Football Weekly Live’s Euro Not 2020 preview special on 10 June. Get them while they’re hot. NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Ethics World Cup latest: migrant security guards in Qatar are still being paid less than £1 an hour. Netherlands keeper Jasper Cillessen has been ruled out of Euro Not 2020 after testing positive for Covid-19. The Valencia stopper has been replaced in the Dutch squad by AZ Alkmaar’s Marco Bizot. Meanwhile, John McGinn has tested positive for Covid-19 and is self-isolating within Scotland’s Euros camp. “[The team doctor] is 99% sure John brought it with him into the camp,” said Steve Clarke. Eric García has joined Sergio Agüero in leaving the Manchester City bench for a free transfer to Barcelona. Gini Wijnaldum, formerly of Liverpool, seems sure to follow them.  Sergio Agüero: he’s cheered up since Saturday. Photograph: Albert Gea/Reuters Don Carlo will end his quest for the Everton Cup to become Real Madrid manager again, once Florentino Pérez thrashes out a compo deal with Goodison Park suits. Nuno Espírito Santo is a name in the frame, while former Toffees manager David Moyes is set to sign a new deal at Taxpayers FC. Fun and games in South America dept: the 2021 Copa América is on to its third host, with Brazil stepping in after Colombia, and then Argentina, were taken off the gig. Kick-off is in 12 days. “This is shameful” was one commentator’s verdict. Is Gareth Bale hanging up his boots and putting on his golf shoes full-time after Euro Not 2020? You’ll have to wait to find out. “If I say something then it’s just going to cause even more chaos so there’s no point,” he tooted. Wales interim manager Robert Page isn’t taking any chances with the likes of Aaron Ramsey before their opening game. “We have to be sympathetic. We cannot push him at 100mph to start with,” Page mused. And in a blow for Ajax’s Big Cup ambitions, pundit Kenneth Perez has revealed that Pep Guardiola is “completely crazy” about the Dutch masters. “He cannot disguise his fascination for Ajax,” Perez smirked to ESPN. STILL WANT MORE? It’s the Euro Not 2020 Experts’ Network! Catch up with team guides for Italy, Switzerland, Turkey and Wales, plus in-depth profiles of key players. The summer women’s transfer interactive is go!  Cracking composite work. Composite: Getty, Action Images Lille won the league and Irvin Cardona scored a worldie that has to be seen. It’s the Adam and Erics for the Ligue 1 season. And there’s the Bandinis for Serie A too. Barney Ronay salutes Chelsea’s ‘false four’, the unstoppable N’Golo Kanté, while Jonathan Wilson assesses the Big Cup tactical battle and David Hytner looks at where City go from here. Nikita Parris is going for, going for gold at the Olympics with Team GB, who her sister Natasha Jonas represented as a boxer at London 2012. Yannick Bolasie gets his chat on with Ed Aarons about a new Crystal Palace documentary and why he hopes to go back to Selhurst Park. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! RECOMMENDED READING

[Vesper 29,335]

David Squires on … Chelsea’s Champions League triumph over Manchester City

Our cartoonist on Thomas Tuchel’s tactical triumph, helped by nice guy N’Golo Kanté and toaster-toed Timo Werner

https://www.theguardian.com/football/ng-interactive/2021/jun/01/david-squires-on-Chelsea-champions-league-final-manchester-city

[Vesper 29,335]

Aguero’s brother launches at attack on Guardiola – quickly deletes tweet

https://www.benchwarmers.ie/agueros-brother-launches-at-attack-on-guardiola-quickly-deletes-tweet/233614/

The brother of Manchester City legend Sergio Aguero has recently taken to his social media to launch a scathing attack on manager Pep Guardiola.

Aguero first joined the Citizens 10-years ago, during his decade long stay in Manchester, the South American has enjoyed a superb career.

Despite racking up a whopping 15 major trophies, Aguero will be best remembered for his final day goalscoring heroics against QPR to snatch the 2011-12 Premier League title away from bitter rivals Manchester United.

However, with time now against him and with his contract set to expire, the club recently announced their top goalscorer will be leaving once the final game of this season has been played.

The Citizens were last in action on Saturday where they were beaten 1-0 by Chelsea in the Champions League final.

Although Aguero didn’t start the match, manager Pep Guardiola did bring him on with around 15-minutes left to play – sadly, the Argentinian failed to have any kind of impact on the match and his side ultimately went on to watch their domestic rivals lift the illustrious trophy.

[Vesper 29,335]

 

[Blues Forever 1,232]

 

[Blues Forever 1,232]

 

[Blues Forever 1,232]

 

[milka 3,372]

After Mourinho in United/Spuds now i should to watch Conte in Spuds

Nice .

[Blues Forever 1,232]

 

[Vesper 29,335]

A triple-whammy of news-gathering haplessness    Gareth Southgate takes his England side to the Riverside on Wednesday evening. Photograph: Eddie Keogh/The FA/Getty Images Scott Murray MORE BREAKING NEWS FROM YOUR FAVOURITE POORLY SCHEDULED NEWS-GATHERING SERVICE … The world of football is just trolling the Fiver now. Yesterday afternoon, Gareth Southgate announced the England squad for Euro 2020 at 5pm, and didn’t even start talking about it until six. And then, six minutes later, as readers and Fiver alike wondered why on earth they ever bother, our triple-whammy of news-gathering haplessness was complete, as one of the biggest clubs in the country found themselves suddenly managerless! Carlo Ancelotti had grabbed his first chance of an out with both hands, telling Everton to do one, then waltzing off up Goodison Road, whistling, aware that he was probably heading in the wrong direction for Madrid, but never mind, getting away is the most important bit right now, he can recalibrate later, once he’s well clear. To be fair, exactly how much the Fiver lost yesterday as a result of its Fiveishness is a moot point. Southgate said nothing of import, never does, while the players took turns to send out a series of tweets – “My pride at pulling on the shirt is limitless”, “Let’s make this summer special”, “Always believe in yourself, silence the doubters” – that suggest post-career gigs copywriting for apparel manufacturers are not beyond them. England play Austria tonight in a friendly at Southgate’s alma mater, the Riverside, a match in which Jesse Lingard, standing in for the absent Chelsea, Manchester City and Manchester United contingent, is almost certainly going to score a hat-trick, on account of not having made the final 26. You know how these things work. Players promoted twice from the same division in the same season | The Knowledge Read more Having said that, there’s a fair chance Austria could record only their second win on English soil, having won eight of their last 10 friendlies. If they manage it, at least all of their efforts will be televised this time; back in 1965, Toni Fritsch’s 81st-minute winner at Wembley remained on the ITV cutting-room floor, the match highlights instead climaxing with a jump cut to a belting rendition of the national anthem. What a glorious nation! So with everyone waiting patiently for England’s first pre-tournament test, the Fiver is pretty confident that it won’t be caught with its trousers down tonight. Unless Everton spring a presser at 5.03pm to announce a dream ticket of Rafa Benítez and Steven Gerrard, in which case we’ll tell you all about that tomorrow at 5pm, along with more on this break-in at the Democratic National Committee HQ in Washington DC, though to be frank we’re not sure that particular story has legs. LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE Join Scott Murray for England v Austria and Paul Doyle for all the other Euro 2020 warm-up friendly international action. QUOTE OF THE DAY “They called me from the club to see if I wanted Luis Suárez and I laughed. I said: ‘Are you serious? Like mad. Go for him. Let me call him.’ I called and said: ‘Look, Luis, we have to win and you want to win’” – the Diego Simeone phone call that changed the La Liga season leads this year’s edition of the Sids: the complete review of La Liga 2020-21!  It’s the Sids! Composite: AP, AFP via Getty Images; Shutterstock; Pressinphoto/Icon Sport/Getty Images RECOMMENDED LISTENING It’s Football Weekly! RECOMMENDED BOOKING Speaking of which, tickets are available now for Football Weekly Live’s Euro Not 2020 preview special on 10 June. Get them while they’re hot. FIVER LETTERS “Re: Conference League names. Big Tin? It’s a name sure to keep The Fiver interested, if no one else” – Phillip C. “How about the Eurine Cup?” – Kevin Windle. “As an exercise in pointless tournaments, the Europa Conference could do no worse than call itself the Northants Senior Cup. Even my beloved Kettering Town find it an irritation” – Giordy Salvi. Send your letters to [email protected], or tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner receives a copy of A.D. Stephenson’s footballing comedy-thriller novel, A Cloud Can Weigh A Million Pounds. Congratulations to … Giordy Salvi. More copies up for grabs this week! NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Ticketless Scotland fans have been urged not to travel to London for the England game on 18 June. A Premier League study has found that only 26% of fans support the use of VAR. “There is a clear feeling among fans that VAR has ruined the spontaneity of goal celebrations, and taken away a big part of our most enjoyable matchday moments,” said the FSA’s vice-chair Tom Greatrex.  Mike Dean and his VAR machine. Photograph: Jack Thomas - WWFC/Wolves/Getty Images Wolfsburg have appointed former Dutch international Mark van Bommel as their new head coach. “To be allowed to work as a coach in the Bundesliga where I played for a long time is a great honour and challenge that I will tackle with a lot of engagement,” he roared. Scotland’s Euro 2020 plans are in chaos after six more players were ruled out of the friendly against the Netherlands. In other Euro 2020 news, unsold Wembley hospitality tickets could mean extra seats for fans. STILL WANT MORE? Myanmar’s football is in in crisis as pull-outs and suspension threat follow coup, writes John Duerden. Have any players been promoted twice from the same division in the same season? The Knowledge has the answer. Mbappé in Miami? Pulisic in Philly? Which US cities will host the 2026 World Cup? Tom Dart goes groundhopping. Sterling form and Henderson fitness mean dilemmas for Gareth Southgate, writes David Hytner. It’s the Euro Not 2020 Experts’ Network! Catch up with team guides for Turkey, Wales, Belgium and Denmark, plus in-depth profiles of key players. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN!

[Vesper 29,335]

Warm applause from the confused imbeciles that had booed him earlier    Ingerland! Ingerland! Photograph: Michael Regan/The FA/Getty Images Barry Glendenning  @bglendenning *SIGHS* The Fiver didn’t get where it is today booing pre-match rituals aimed at promoting tolerance. It’s surprising really, as the Fiver is famously intolerant and regularly boos other pre-game customs like the goal-net inspection, team warm-ups, handshakes and the coin-toss. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! But the Fiver has long been of a mind that if a group of footballers – many of them black or mixed race – want to take a brief pre-match knee with the specific, stated and repeatedly restated-for-the-benefit-of-the-thickies-at-the-back aim of promoting racial equality then that’s alright with us. Now is the time for football fans to cheer when players take the knee | Paul MacInnes Read more But then it would be, wouldn’t it? After all, the Fiver is simple, woke, wishy-washy, virtue-signalling, snowflake folk who can’t see this simple gesture for what it really is, which we’re reliably informed by @ThreeLions572975654 is “ … something, something … Marxist plot … something, something … no place for politics in football”. And while @ThreeLions572975654 and his mince-thick ilk are perfectly entitled to their often abhorrent and entirely incorrect opinions, they would be more valid if they weren’t published on the Twitter accounts of people who devote each November to frothing at the mouth over James McClean’s refusal to wear a poppy. Tragically, a significant proportion of them seemed to be at the Riverside Stadium last night and their pre-match knee-booing was quickly drowned out by the applause of others in the stands. Having survived the whiplash he’d sustained turning his head to the stands in disbelief and anger as he took the knee, Trent Alexander-Arnold’s evening ended with a knack to the thigh that could end his Euro 2020 before it had restarted. The England right-back – one of four in the squad in case you hadn’t heard – cut a mournful figure as he was helped to the line to warm applause, much of it from those confused imbeciles who had been booing him just 90 minutes earlier. It doesn’t look good for Trent but elsewhere there were some actual good news stories: Jinkin’ Jack Grealish appeared to survive a good kicking from the Austrians, Tyrone Mings somehow didn’t concede a penalty, while Bukayo Saka and Jude Bellingham (combined age: 36) were both outstanding. But with no more than three of England’s starting XI likely to be in the side that lines up against Croatia in their Euro 2020 opener, we didn’t learn much on the pitch or in the stands. QUOTE OF THE DAY November 2009: “I want to be top scorer in the Premier League, top scorer at the World Cup and, within five years, I want to be among the best strikers in the world,” Bendtner once said. “Trust me, it will happen. I look around at other players, I see my own ability and I can’t see anything that tells me it won’t happen, I’m sure people will think ‘What is he talking about?’ But as I have done before, and as I will do again, I will sit at the other end and laugh at those people when it is all done.” June 2021: “I think I’ll spend a lot of time understanding that it’s really over now. Now I will find something else that gives me what football has given me in all the years” – (Lord) Nicklas Bendtner has announced his retirement from football, aged 33.  Happier times. Photograph: Graeme Robertson/The Guardian RECOMMENDED LISTENING It’s Football Weekly Extra! RECOMMENDED BOOKING Speaking of which, tickets are available now for Football Weekly Live’s Euro Not 2020 preview special on 10 June. Get them while they’re hot. FIVER LETTERS “Whist experiencing an unpleasant feeling of déjà vu as you boldly repeated your riff on the difficulties of being a news based email due out at the time news was allegedly happening, I was struck by two thoughts. Firstly, when did you become so respectful of deadlines? And secondly, surprise that the name relates to a delivery time and not the 5 steps it takes to open, read, shake head in despair, close and delete said missive” – Colin Reed. “Phillip C nearly nailed it yesterday with his suggestion that the new Conference thingy should be called Big Tin. But there’s nothing remotely “big” about it. It’s just a Tin Pot, and so it should be called” – Paul Southgate. Send your letters to [email protected], or tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner receives a copy of A.D. Stephenson’s footballing comedy-thriller novel, A Cloud Can Weigh A Million Pounds. Congratulations to … Paul Southgate. More copies up for grabs this week! NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Romelu Lukaku is staying at Internazionale despite plenty of interest from elsewhere. “I feel good at Inter,” the Belgian chirped. He will be managed by Simone Inzaghi next season after he was confirmed as replacement of Antonio Conte, who is closing in on a return to the Premier League with Spurs.  Romelu Lukaku: a king. Photograph: Claudio Villa/Inter/Getty Images Speaking of Belgian strikers going nowhere, Christian Benteke has signed a new two-year deal with Crystal Palace. “Five years already and still a lot more to come,” Benteke said. “We have a great group of players and staff, and I’m looking forward to the season ahead and playing in front of our fans again.” The Netherlands managed to secure a late draw against Scotland thanks to two goals from Memphis Depay, while Wales lost 3-0 to France, with Neco Williams sent off in the first half. Three days after leading Morecambe to the third tier for the first time in their history following their dramatic play-off final win over Newport, Derek Adams has left the club. The Scot has been linked with managerless Bradford City of League Two. Ronald Koeman is staying on as Barcelona manager and Jordi Cruyff has returned to the club to join their football department as assistant sporting director, a relatively undefined position. Total suiting! STILL WANT MORE? Max Rushden on free will, myopia and being an England fan. Now is the time for football fans to cheer when players take the knee, argues Paul MacInnes. Gritty, bitty and bruising: it’s England 1-0 Austria, according to Barney Ronay. An independent regulator for football? The time is now, writes Paul MacInnes. Have you got any hopes and dreams? Specifically around your country’s chances at Euro 2020, that is. If you do, why not let us know. Learn all about the Finland and Russia Euro 2020 squads with our Experts’ Network team guide. Alternatively, just learn about the Finland goalkeeper, Lukas Hradecky, who likes a pint or the Russia striker Aleksandr Sobolev, whose drinking habits are unknown. Steve Clarke’s new novel, ‘The Tierney-Robertson Conundrum’, has been reviewed by Ewan Murray. Get your fix of England v Romania memories in Classic YouTube. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! YA BEAUTY!