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FromThe Guardian's Daily Email.

I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I SAW TODAY’

Dangerous levels of hot air, bluster and steam threatened to cause an emergency outside the Emirates Stadium on Sunday afternoon as the various eejits, pirates and headphones models who make up Arsenal’s YouTube massive suffered a collective loss of their heads and All Perspective following their side’s self-parodic 2-0 defeat to a West Ham side who were able to win despite starting with a foetus in midfield, before adding insult to injury by treating everyone to a two-minute airing of their much-loved Modibo Maiga Standing Around And Letting The Ball Bounce Off Your Head And Feet Experience. Oh, Arsenal. Oh, Arsenal. And once more for good luck: oh, Arsenal! How is it possible for you to remain such an endless source of entertainment, with your goalkeeping howlers and complacency and ongoing insistence that Olivier Giroud deserves to be classed as a top, top striker, up there with the very best, seeing as he has excellent hair. To be fair to Giroud, he does have very nice hair. It’s very good. It’s hair that’s worth at least 20 goals a season, if you think about it deeply enough.

This time last week, everything was hunky dory. They had just beaten Boring Old Chelsea in the Community Shield, meaning that they entered the new season as treble winners after a heroic summer in which they also collected the Emirates Cup and the Barclays Asia Trophy. Take that, José Mourinho! The excitement was huge, not that anyone was getting carried away. “I don’t think we are inferior to the Spanish clubs or Bayern Munich,” Santi Cazorla cheered in the sequel to Theo Walcott’s classic claim in April that Arsenal had been the strongest side in Europe this year, despite losing to Monaco in Big Cup, and it’s hard to argue with that, seeing as trophies really should be awarded based on calendar years and Eibar, Granada and Getafe haven’t been much use in 2015. Alas the FA remains as shortsighted as ever and continues to press ahead with the arcane insistence that the title be awarded based on a team’s results from August to May, which is obviously a total farce.

This was supposed to be different. Arsenal finally had a proper goalkeeper in goal and confidence was high, only for Agent Cech to do his very best Wojciech Szczesny impression for Cheikhou Kouyaté’s opener, before failing to save a Mauro Zárate shot which had about as much bite as a piece of satire from The Fiver. Arsène Wenger was livid with his players, although he did point out that they weren’t physically ready yet. The Fiver is unsure who was tasked with making sure they were up to speed, so we’ll move on and give a bit of praise to West Ham, who have celebrated their win by, er, opening talks with Joey Barton.

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City look excellent. Scary thing is this is them without Aguero & De Bruyne.

I really wish we could play like this in the final third. Arsenal do it too. Players instantly form triangles and are in constant motion looking for angles and quick, short passes that defenders can't keep up with. Our players often times just stand around and watch the player with the ball. They aren't even really giving the opposition a chance by dominating the ball so much.

And like you say, this is without the league's best striker and De Bruyne to come in.

Oh, now 0-2 as I type.

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I really wish we could play like this in the final third. Arsenal do it too. Players instantly form triangles and are in constant motion looking for angles and quick, short passes that defenders can't keep up with. Our players often times just stand around and watch the player with the ball. They aren't even really giving the opposition a chance by dominating the ball so much.

And like you say, this is without the league's best striker and De Bruyne to come in.

Oh, now 0-2 as I type.

We played like this in the first half of last season but we've been terrible ever since Spurs hammered us on New Years, Swansea away the only exception.

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