Funny Picture and Video Thread

[Blue-in-me-Veins 4,067]

Joke#1

A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday "I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs." I said "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....",

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Goverment with me!" Reaching into his back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and shoved it in my face. "See this fucking badge!? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land!! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear? Do you undestand!??? I politely nodded, apologized, and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before reaching safety. The officer was clearly terrified. I threw down my tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of my lungs..... "Your badge!, show him your fucking BADGE!"

Joke number #2.

While watching the swimming at the Olympics I began to get depressed at the thought that I would never be able to compete beacuse I have big boobs.

But then I was happy because I have big boobs.

But then I was depressed again because I'm a guy. hahahahaha

Joke number #3

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates where St.Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph." Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken." Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?" "Not bad," replied Ralph the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!" "You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before." "Never," said Ralph. "Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no big deal." Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, "Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're shitting in the bed!"

[BleedsBlue 1,549]

This quite old but quality stuff-

[termninja 5,290]

[Ramox 246]

[Steve 10,227]

Start watching at 13:35

http://youtu.be/VuAXoSnp14M

[Blue-in-me-Veins 4,067]

hahahahaha

[Milan 17,956]

[Spike 12,049]

Start watching at 13:35

I've a big red one right here for her...I'd like to her with her mouth around it...

This was so obvious if you didn't think I was going to do this I hate you. Yes, you; you know who I'm talking about.

[Spike 12,049]

NSFW MAYBE

[Ramox 246]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-808Xj5lIg&feature=player_embedded

[CRonaldo 55]

THIS is Barca?

God, sponsors are really doing rubbish with the kits.

Marseille in black and orange, Barca in horrible colors and there are tons like that

[Slam Dunk 1,442]

Haha saw that live yesterday - The way he puts his hand up and looks at the ref expecting a foul to be given

[Sheva. 5,373]

[Steve 10,227]

Surely not

[Sheva. 5,373]