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Steve
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LINES THAT STATE THE TRUTH

1.) "Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that."

2.)"Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

3.)"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

4.)"If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong"

5.)"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason."

6.)"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

7.)"Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose"

8.)"He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame."

9.)"A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip."

http://www.onelinerz.net/top-100-funny-one-liners/3/

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