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I JUST MET CHERYL COLE. CHERYL 'FUCKING' COLE.

CHERYL 'WIFE OF OUR LEFT-BACK' 'FUCKING' COLE.

CHERYL 'I WOULD EAT HER SHIT' 'FUCKING' COLE.

WHY DIDN'T I GET A PICTURE!? OMFG.

SHE HAS AN ADORABLE LAUGH, BUT SHE PROBABLY ONLY LAUGHED TO BE POLITE SINCE MY JOKE WAS SHIT. OMFG.

I think my penis has fallen off ._.

(If anyone use to/does watch(ed) Eastenders and remembers an actress who played a teenage girl called Ruby, I met her also, but she's boring.)

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I JUST MET CHERYL COLE. CHERYL 'FUCKING' COLE.

CHERYL 'WIFE OF OUR LEFT-BACK' 'FUCKING' COLE.

CHERYL 'I WOULD EAT HER SHIT' 'FUCKING' COLE.

WHY DIDN'T I GET A PICTURE!? OMFG.

SHE HAS AN ADORABLE LAUGH, BUT SHE PROBABLY ONLY LAUGHED TO BE POLITE SINCE MY JOKE WAS SHIT. OMFG.

I think my penis has fallen off ._.

(If anyone use to/does watch(ed) Eastenders and remembers an actress who played a teenage girl called Ruby, I met her also, but she's boring.)

Did you plough her? Or did your cock literally fall off? If you didn't bang her you deserve to be cockles, because I remember get saying she has a fetish for working class slobs that eat too many pies.

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All hail king Alex:

Alessandro Del Piero rejected Liverpool due to the Heysel tragedy & respect for the Juventus fans who lost their lives[via @FootballFact101]

No he didn't. That was just what his ex-agent said, there's not a shred of truth in that. He just prefers my Liverpool to the English Liverpool.

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This is why I stopped smoking weed.

To be fair though, you made that post when our only strikers were Drogba and Anelka. Didier had malaria, of course, and Anelka was off form. I don't think there would have been too many that disagreed with you then.

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