Blue-in-me-Veins 4,067 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 DONT LAUGH! though i bet you'll be laughing half way though, i was! already smiling before i even started reading it! "Don't laugh!" said the patient, Ed. "Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient." "Okay then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'hoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It could not have been bigger than the size of an AAA battery. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, and then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later, he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure. "I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I do not know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it will not happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen," Ed replied...hahahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nachikethas 1,154 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 best assist of the year so far?? A: victor valdes to di maria....lol.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milan 17,963 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DONI. 1,291 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 LoL :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kez 2,727 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 We Hate Scouse 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue-in-me-Veins 4,067 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Joke#1A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday "I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs." I said "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....",The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Goverment with me!" Reaching into his back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and shoved it in my face. "See this fucking badge!? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land!! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear? Do you undestand!??? I politely nodded, apologized, and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before reaching safety. The officer was clearly terrified. I threw down my tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of my lungs..... "Your badge!, show him your fucking BADGE!"Joke number #2.While watching the swimming at the Olympics I began to get depressed at the thought that I would never be able to compete beacuse I have big boobs. But then I was happy because I have big boobs. But then I was depressed again because I'm a guy. hahahahahaJoke number #3 Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates where St.Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph." Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken." Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?" "Not bad," replied Ralph the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!" "You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before." "Never," said Ralph. "Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no big deal." Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, "Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're shitting in the bed!" Milan 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BleedsBlue 1,549 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 This quite old but quality stuff- MetsajCFC and warnie_666 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
termninja 5,290 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 FormerRussianSpy, nachikethas and BleedsBlue 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramox 246 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 mpaca and Jype 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post! Steve 10,227 Posted August 25, 2012 Author Popular Post! Share Posted August 25, 2012 Start watching at 13:35 http://youtu.be/VuAXoSnp14M We Hate Scouse, Ramox, Sheva. and 5 others 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue-in-me-Veins 4,067 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 hahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milan 17,963 Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike 12,049 Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Start watching at 13:35 I've a big red one right here for her...I'd like to her with her mouth around it...This was so obvious if you didn't think I was going to do this I hate you. Yes, you; you know who I'm talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike 12,049 Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 NSFW MAYBE nachikethas 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramox 246 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-808Xj5lIg&feature=player_embedded Santiago. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRonaldo 55 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 THIS is Barca?God, sponsors are really doing rubbish with the kits.Marseille in black and orange, Barca in horrible colors and there are tons like that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slam Dunk 1,442 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Haha saw that live yesterday - The way he puts his hand up and looks at the ref expecting a foul to be given Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheva. 5,373 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Invasion 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve 10,227 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 Surely not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheva. 5,373 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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