Liquidator

This could be a cricket score. We may as well not show up

I'd give it to Owen Coyle or Ian Dowie myself but that's just me

Can't even have a debate on here now

Oh no she loved it believe me

I made her moan like there was no tomorrow...

The sad thing is that you're pretty accurate describing my body like that of a pre pubescent girl. I might become a ladyboy sort of thing. Closest i will get to sex even if I do end up shagging a 48 year old man who has a thing for younger girls after too many magic mushrooms. My arse will hurt but a shag is a shag

I hope Mourinho feels good because moan about doctor moan so forum all moan about moaning and moaners moan about doctors so people moan about people moaning so I haven't moaned about Eva Carneiro and because people moan about people moaning about people moaning about his 3rd season I think we should sign Baba Rahman so moaners can moan about Mourinho moaning about Eva moaning because Falcao looked rubbish on Saturday so moaners moan about Remy which means others moan about people not moaning about Eden Hazard so people moan as a result of Vlad Chiriches moaning about a shallow squad so people moan we'd be better off with Villas Boas.

Hahahaha this place is so funny!

This place makes Dignitas seem like the happiest place on Earth

Looks as if we submitted our scoping report to Hammersmith and Fulham Council a few days ago. Interesting to see that there will be an increase of only 715 season tickets in the new stadium and only 4000 extra non hospitality tickets on sale to the public every game. We will also be introducing Club Area seating (presumably like at Wembley and The Emirates) and tickets made available to juniors will double. Construction would also start at the end of this season with the building over the railway tracks behind the East and Matthew Harding stands and we would then move out the following year (2016/17 being our last season) and move back in for 2020/21 If you want to look at it search lbhf's planning section with the postcode SW6 1HS. Just to warn you, it is very long and 98% of it is very boring

the black and white ones were the original plans in the 1970s where only the East stand got built. The last 2 were 1990s plans proposed by Ken Bates if I remember rightly

It is something you are going to regret for the rest of your life. When you're a 53 year old man you will wake up in a sweat at 3AM and ask yourself 'Why didn't I make that weird shit Harry a mod on TalkChelsea? He had everything, even an obsession with some rubbish Egyptian winger. Oh well. His cocaine addiction probably killed him years ago. Either that or he's now a male prostitute.' At that point I expect you will turn over and fall asleep again.

I think I speak for everyone when I say this is far more sad than when Drogba left first time and Lampard left. I'm crying into my chilli con carne right now

I don't care! And it feels so fucking good to say I swear That I don't care! I don't care Woooooah I don't care No no

Hope her and Eva go at it like dogs in the showers afterwards and someone gets it on their phone

Really want to know who that Italian slice on their bench is

This place is lols

Premier League 1. Chelsea Even though we haven't strengthened massively I think the Mourinho factor will be huge. A lot of our younger players will now have the experience of winning the league. It will certainly be a lot tougher than last year though. 2. Manchester City Again they have not really improved their team so far this summer (I don't see Sterling as an improvement) but I expect them to fight a lot harder this season like they did in 2013/14 when they had defended their title poorly the season before. It is an ageing side though. 3. Arsenal I'm not buying this title challenging lark until they invest in a world class centre back to partner Koscielny and a world class striker. If they were to get Benzema, Cavani or Higuain then they would be in business though. 4. Manchester United Again, I'm not buying them as title challengers until they sort their defence. You won't win the league with Smalling and Jones. They are also quite short of striking options bar Rooney. I expect an improvement but they won't challenge for the title. 5. Liverpool I don't think they are a better side than Spurs, I just think they have more strength in depth to cope with playing Thursday and Sunday. It will be tough for them to break into the top 4 and I don't see Rodgers there this time next year. 6. They are used to finishing in this sort of position. Will be a standard Tottenham season. 7. Everton Won't have Europa to distract them so will improve vastly on last season. They actually did quite well in the league when they were knocked out of Europe 8. Swansea City With the addition of Ayew and the likes of Gomis and Montero finding their feet in English football I think they will do very well. 9. Stoke City They've actually got a very good squad now. 10. Crystal Palace If they play like they did during the back end of last season they will do well. Not the best squad of individuals but as a team could be very dangerous. 11. Southampton Seem to have a good enough squad to cope with Europe. I just feel like it could go wrong for them. I don't know why and they should finish higher than 11th. I just feel that they won't for some reason and Koeman will go at the end of the season. 12. West Brom Standard Tony Pulis season. What it says on the tin. 13. West Ham With or without Europe I don't think they will do very well. Short of options in attack and now Valencia is injured they might not do too well. If they finish 15th or lower Bilic will be gone IMO. 14. Newcastle For some reason I think they will start really well and it will be enough to keep them up. Can't do much worse than under Carver even if the team lacks quality. 15. Leicester City If they start well they will be fine. If not Ranieri will come under a lot of pressure. They just need to play like they did second half of last season but without that prick Pearson. 16. Sunderland Just a standard Sunderland season featuring flirts with relegation and hilarious defensive errors. 17. Norwich City Have kept a lot of players from when they were last in the Premier League. Alex Neil seems to know what he's doing. It will be tough but I think they will survive. 18. Aston Villa Every year they get tipped for relegation but it never happens. Feel like they could do a Fulham and just slip out this year now Benteke has gone. They haven't improved the team much and Sherwood doesn't strike me as someone who would benefit the club in the long run. I expect him to be gone by January. 19. Bournemouth I really hope they do well. I'm expecting them to do a Blackpool and start well while trying to play the 'right sort of way' but ultimately feel like they could go down on the last day like Blackpool. 20. Watford I don't expect so many new signings to gel so quickly and the club generally seems a bit unstable. Sherwood, Rodgers, Pellegrini, Koeman, Advocaat and Flores to not be at their current clubs this time next season. Flores to be sacked first. Middlesborough, Hull and Wolves to be promoted. Barca to win the Champions League

Can I draw a picture instead of writing 50 words?

Don't get too excited. He's playing my local team and they are pretty wank. Even I've played on that hallowed turf in a small shitty corner in south east London

Goodbye bae! Love you xoxo

I laid the bait and waited...

No. You are for being deluded enough to think Jose can take us any further.

No homo but Trapp is a good looking lad

Sack José. This is totally unacceptable. Get Klopp in and have done. Why delay the inevitable?