Liquidator

I think I speak for everyone when I say I love him to bits but he's really not up to it anymore

Oh crap forgot it will be a bank holiday. I'm gonna look like a right numpty

Booked the day after the last day of the season (trophy lift day) off work and ordered a £60 bottle of champagne Might get a limo and some strippers too just to complete the set

Amazing all season but just the last 3 or so weeks I feel like he has gone up another notch. Absolutely brilliant talent

That was incredible. Players and fans want this so much. Longest second half in ages but so special at full time

I suppose we could give him one of those chocolate medals so he doesn't feel left out

my jacket potato from Spud U Like was undercooked this lunchtime. Put a real damper on my lunch hour

no he's back to reveal next season's kits

FIFTY MILLION POUNDS

Gr8 bantz m8. I r8 8/8 no deb8

He looks like he loves a cheeky Nandos and doesn't hesitate to tell everyone on Instagram using numerous emojis

Praising Zidane. It's happening earlier than I thought. You don't turn down Real Madrid.

The fan forum has asked for it to be introduced as well as printable tickets but the club said it would increase ticket touting. Arsenal use printable tickets bt I don't think any other club does

The look my QPR supporting boss gave me just now when I described them as a tinpot club playing in their cup final wasn't a nice one. Oops.

If they did it on first comes first basis then everyone would just set their browser up a week in advance of tickets going on sale. People would miss out on a ticket because they were online half a second later than the person in front of them in the queue.

It's done at random. Having 6 browser tabs open doesn't help.

Nope. my grandad on my mum's side of the family made sure I was brought up as a Chelsea fan. If it wasn't for him I'd be Millwall or West Ham. Lucky escape

Sounds right up my street. Where do I sign up?

Did the actual Juan Cuadrado ever arrive in England from Italy? I'm becoming worried that we've somehow re-signed Shaun Wright Phillips and Cuadrado is actually living the high life in Vegas in casinos and snorting coke off of hookers' arses

Was this it? http://thechels.info/wiki/Iran_Tour_1973

I don't care if it was going in Jason! For all we know it could have dipped and swerved before ending up going over the bar (as most shots do with Mo)

nah it took a slight deflection if I remember rightly. Not gonna count it in my books

Scored his last goal for us a year ago today against Stoke

Maybe while they are there Ludy can convince Oscar that they'd be better off staying there...