The English Football Thread

[R2D2 368]

All results going for us, going by all recent history with us means we will more than likely lose tomorrow sadly.

Edited March 3, 2021 by R2D2

[Vesper 30,226]

2 more points dropped by manure, woot

[Vesper 30,226]

Just now, R2D2 said:

Amazing results today going for us, by all recent history with us means we will more than likely lose tomorrow.

the next 2 games are our top 4 season

[Jase 43,479]

2 minutes ago, Vesper said:

the next 2 games are our top 4 season

That's exaggerating it, I think. I don't believe for one second that Leicester, West Ham and Everton won't stumble (potentially a lot) along the way. 

[ZAPHOD2319 4,819]

Red Cafe is being level headed about the result, most saying Palace should have won that. Ole outers are going to get loud....while their team is in 2nd place.

[Vesper 30,226]

7 minutes ago, Jason said:

That's exaggerating it, I think. I don't believe for one second that Leicester, West Ham and Everton won't stumble (potentially a lot) along the way. 

if we lose both of the next two, our top 4 chances are less than 20%

[Jase 43,479]

Just now, Vesper said:

if we lose both of the next two, our top 4 chances are less than 20%

Fuck for the percentages!

If worse comes to worst, we'll just go and win the Champions League! 

[Vesper 30,226]

 8 teams going for 3 places, and we might be under all of them

[Vesper 30,226]

and in last 10 games, we have to play Leeds (physically exhausting) Palace away (look what they did tonight), West Ham, Citeh, Arsenal, Leicester, Villa (Likely fully fit, certainly will have Grealish back I wager)

only 'easy' games are West Brom, BHA, and Fulham

[Vesper 30,226]

[Vesper 30,226]

 

 

Of all the pitchside ranters, Chris Wilder is undeniably our favourite    Bramall Lane. With a ‘Bashy’-shouting Chris Wilder out of frame. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/The Guardian Barry Glendenning  @bglendenning SHOUT, SHOUT, LET IT ALL OUT Getting to eavesdrop on what exactly it is that managers and players yell at each other during top-flight matches is one of the very few benefits of football being played behind closed doors. Unsurprisingly, with no crowds present to drown out the on-field and pitchside pontifications, we get to hear a lot of effing and jeffing which TV commentators invariably feel compelled to apologise for, even though it’s not actually them turning the air blue. Beyond the profanity, it was intriguing to note that Mikel Arteta instructs his Arsenal players in a variety of languages but seems to have a Ukip-unfriendly preference for French, despite him hailing from Spain but being fluent in English since coming over here 10 years ago and taking someone else’s job. It gets weirder. Last Sunday, Kasper Schmeichel spent 90 minutes repeatedly shouting “ATTITUDE!” at his Leicester teammates, for all the good it did them as they crumbled in the face of Arsenal’s attack. As fairly meaningless motivational buzz-words go, it’s up there with “PURPOSE!” And “UNCLOUDED!”, which The Fiver vaguely recalls being daubed on random walls in Big Paper Towers. Of course, government rules and regulations mean it’s been so long since we’ve set foot in the place we may have misremembered. It’s not entirely implausible we just imagined it during a recent fever dream and any dip [Dip! – Fiver Ed] in the quality of your favourite daily football email since we were forced to start working from home is entirely coincidental. Newcastle face an almighty battle to stay in the Premier League Read more But out of all the pitchside ranters and ravers, Chris Wilder is undeniably our favourite. Having earned no end of plaudits for the overlapping centre-backs and other tactical flourishes which helped his newly-promoted side perform such heroics last season, it was fascinating to learn his favoured method of touchline motivation is to repeatedly roar “BASHY! BASHY! BASHY! BASHY! BASHY! BASHY! BASHY! BASHY! BASHY! BASHY! BASHY!” at Chris Basham. And while this innovative method of encouragement worked to devastating effect in the last campaign, it is now failing so spectacularly that Wilder has already accepted his team’s relegation is a formality. But even with “Bashy” currently sidelined with thigh-knack, Sheffield United’s manager would not be silenced before Wednesday’s match against Aston Villa and told reporters it’s not inconceivable he might walk away from his job. “I don’t know,” wailed Wilder, upon being asked if he would stay in the event of relegation. “Head down and on to the Villa game. Then what will be will be. I want to stay, definitely, if we stick to the plan.” The plan being the building of a new training centre tout suite, as well as certain assurances that he will be allowed to strengthen his squad and not forced to sell the players who have got him into the current pickle. “The plan is to keep improving, to leave a legacy, to keep the players we’ve got and to add a couple,” he blurted. “I’m confident we can keep the group together.” Here’s hoping he can do exactly that and give his assault on securing an immediate return to the Premier League a decent bashy. LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE! Join Simon Burnton from 4.45pm GMT for MBM coverage of Manchester City 4-1 Fiorentina, plus Paul Doyle at 7pm for Chelsea 2-0 Atlético Madrid in Women’s Big Cup, while Barry Glendenning will be on hand at 6pm for Burnley 1-1 Leicester in the Premier League, before Nick Ames takes in Crystal Palace 1-2 Manchester United. QUOTE OF THE DAY “I think the thing that really allows you to stay well is an existential happiness. Feeling within yourself that you are a happy person for what you have done, what you are doing, what you are becoming. When I read a book or watch a film and take something from it, I feel better. If I gain some new understanding, that’s what makes me feel good” – Gigi Buffon, 74, gets philosophical in this top, top chat with Nicky Bandini.  Yes, Gigi. Photograph: Massimo Pinca/Reuters FIVER LETTERS “This recent story about 2030 World Cup hosts (yesterday’s Fiver) reminds me very much of the 1996 Olympic Games when, for the centenary of the modern Olympics, instead of choosing the logical and everybody’s favourite candidate, Athens, the IOC opted for Atlanta backed by some very rich sponsors. Modern day sports and romance, eh?” – Bogdan Kotarlic. “Surely a UK-Ireland bid for the bragging rights in 2030 would mean that England, Wales, Scotland, Norn Iron and O’Ireland would all automatically qualify as hosts. Alternatively, shouldn’t Fifa insist on there being a UK team? Either way, solving this will make the Irish border protocol seem like a piece of cake” – Mike Jesnick. Send your letters to [email protected]. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day prize is … Bogdan Kotarlic. NEWS, BITS AND BOBS The former Cardiff midfielder Peter Whittingham died after falling down stairs at a pub following a drunken “play fight” with friends, an inquest has been told.  A tribute to Peter Whittingham at Cardiff. Photograph: Kieran McManus/BPI/Rex/Shutterstock Australia are almost certain to play their World Cup qualifiers in June on foreign soil with authorities resigned to flamin’ quarantine restrictions making it impossible to host the games at home. Mercurial former Yugoslavia midfielder Dragan Stojkovic is the new coach of Serbia. “I am fully aware of the magnitude of the task that lies ahead,” he declared. “But I am also confident in my ability and in the national team’s huge potential.” Mick McCarthy has told Cardiff fans who are dreaming of promotion to put their champagne away. “If you lose it’s all doom and gloom and sack the manager,” he purred after the 4-0 thrashing of Derby. “Now we’re flying and we’re in the play-offs, we’re getting promoted. You won’t get me carried away with it.” Pep Guardiola paid tribute to Riyad Mahrez’s mastery of gyration after Manchester City’s 9,999,999th consecutive win. “He is a guy who dances on the pitch,” whooped Pep after the 4-1 win over Wolves. “He’s a fantastic player.” Arsenal boss Mikel Arteta has poured cold water all over Catalonian fluff linking him with the Barça job. “There is always going to be speculation when there are elections,” doused the mid-table manager. “Obviously I was raised there as a player … but I am fully focused on the job here.” And Scotland boss Steve Clarke has poured cold Irn Bru all over fitba fluff linking him with the Queen’s Celtic job. “After the Euros I will go on a big holiday,“ he yelped, optimistically. “Hopefully I can take the team to the World Cup finals in Qatar in 2022.” STILL WANT MORE? Newcastle + lack of goals x knack-crisis = an almighty battle to stay up, calculates Martin Laurence.  Could a trip to the Championship beckon on Tyneside? Photograph: Alex Pantling/PA The USA! USA!! USA!!!’s Reggie Cannon chews the fat with Will Unwin about life at Boavista and the “medieval” goings-on in the home of the brave. What is the longest barren streak a club has endured at a rival’s ground? Gareth Keenan The Knowledge investigates. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! ADMIN!

[Atomiswave 6,118]

Ohh what happened, did bruno cantona not play? No pen no party.

[Jase 43,479]

12 hours ago, Vesper said:

It's not a stretch to say that Crystal Palace have a very old squad. 

And while their contracts aren't expiring this summer, players like Zaha turn 29 and Ayew 30 later this year. They could be in serious relegation trouble in the coming seasons. 

[Jase 43,479]

 

[Vesper 30,226]

Wednesday March 3 2021 Matt Law's Chelsea briefing

Tuchel needs goals — the question is where they should come from By Matt Law, Football News Correspondent Erling Haaland is the name on the lips of many Chelsea supporters as thoughts begin to turn to the summer transfer window. Goals have been in short supply during Thomas Tuchel’s unbeaten start to life as the club’s head coach, so it is natural that Haaland should be a target. But there is a growing argument that Chelsea lack any genuine guile or craft and it may well be that Tuchel needs to add an assist king to his squad. Chelsea’s squad has plenty of pace and dynamism with the likes of Timo Werner, Mason Mount, Callum Hudson-Odoi, Reece James and Marcos Alonso, but where is the genuine passer? Werner is top of Chelsea’s assists chart, having set up six goals, ahead of Mount and Kai Havertz on five. Tuchel sees Havertz as a “hybrid” player between a number 10 and a nine, and it may well be that the German eventually evolves into a regular chance creator. But the fact that Chelsea’s central midfielders of Jorginho, Mateo Kovacic and N’Golo Kante have managed just five assists between them this season points to a problem. Jorginho is often too deep and looks sideways too often to make the most of his ability in possession, as his one assist proves. Hakim Ziyech was creating goals under Frank Lampard, but the Morocco international has not benefited from Tuchel’s change of formation and misplaced far too many passes against Manchester United. It is not just the final ball for the striker that Chelsea have been lacking. A genuine passer could open up space for those on the flanks to create more opportunities with their pace and crossing ability. It is interesting to rewind seven years, to 2014, when Chelsea were considering how best to try to replace the club’s record goalscorer Frank Lampard. Former technical director Michael Emenalo knew it would be virtually impossible to find another midfielder who could guarantee the team 20-plus goals each season. Samir Nasri, then at Manchester City, was considered and the Frenchman had shown, both at City and Arsenal, that he was capable of hitting double figures from an advanced midfield position. But Emenalo and the manager at the time, Jose Mourinho, were in complete agreement that Cesc Fabregas was the man to go for, even though the Spaniard would not be expected to hit the back of the net. Emenalo and Mourinho reasoned that the goals Fabregas would provide for others, such as Eden Hazard and Diego Costa, would compensate for the loss of Lampard and so it proved. Fabregas finished his first season, in which Chelsea won the Premier League, with 24 assists in all competitions. And, two years later, when the club won the title again Under Antonio Conte, he managed 15 assists. Conte had initially opted for the power of N’Golo Kante and Nemanja Matic in the centre of his midfield, but gradually realised that he could not do without the craft of Fabregas. Chelsea may find themselves in a similar position now. The obvious solution to their problems appears to lie in signing a new striker who has the killer instinct to regularly score over 20 goals a season. But, whether it be Haaland or anyone else, one has to presume that any striker Chelsea may sign this summer is not going to be able to create chances for himself. Get in touch on Twitter @Matt_Law_DT or by emailing [email protected]

[ZAPHOD2319 4,819]

Spuds with Kane, Son, Dele, Bale.....that is a lot of fire power if they all are in form.

[MoroccanBlue 5,385]

Ruben in a nutshell with that chance. 

[killer1257 3,282]

Ruben is playing pretty well. Won all his dribblings 

[ZAPHOD2319 4,819]

Spuds have too much going forward. Deli Alii heating up could mean Jose becomes more aggressive.  Spuds 1-0

[MoroccanBlue 5,385]

4 minutes ago, ZAPHOD2319 said:

Spuds have too much going forward. Deli Alii heating up could mean Jose becomes more aggressive.  Spuds 1-0

Doubtful. He'll always opt for three holding/defensive midfielders.