Billy. 2,742 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I honestgly hope nobody read/heard this joke already,, it had me crying..but with my luck I bet all of you have.Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks did hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match".The DJ call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with phone number for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down: DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?" Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have." DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please." Contestant: "Brian." DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?" Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married." DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please." Brian: "Sara." DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?" Brian: "She is gonna kill me." DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?" Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work." DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?" Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning." DJ: "Atta boy, Brian." Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..." DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?" Brian: "About 10 minutes." DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake." Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice." DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning? Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..." DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?" Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks..." DJ: "Uh huh..." Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time." DJ: "Atta boy, Brian." Brian: "On the kitchen table." DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this." [3 minutes of commercials follow.] DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?" (Touch tones.....ringing....) Clerk: "Kinkos." DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?" Clerk: "This is she." DJ: "Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now." Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?" DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?" Sarah: "No." DJ: "Good!" Brian: (laughing) Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?" Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest." DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us." Sarah: (laughing) "Yes." DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?" Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work." DJ: "What time?" Sarah: "Around 8 this morning." DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?" Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe." DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?" Sarah: (laughing) "Yes." DJ: "Where did you have it?" Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?" Brian: "Just tell him, honey." DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?" Sarah: "Well..." DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?Sarah: "Up the a$$..." After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station break" And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!Hahahahathats Brilliant!!!!!!! Blue-in-me-Veins 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRiver 1,512 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 BleedsBlue 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRiver 1,512 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Sorry.. I didn't see that Steve had already posted that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hutcho 8,443 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I honestgly hope nobody read/heard this joke already,, it had me crying..but with my luck I bet all of you have.Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks did hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match".The DJ call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with phone number for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down: DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?" Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have." DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please." Contestant: "Brian." DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?" Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married." DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please." Brian: "Sara." DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?" Brian: "She is gonna kill me." DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?" Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work." DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?" Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning." DJ: "Atta boy, Brian." Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..." DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?" Brian: "About 10 minutes." DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake." Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice." DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning? Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..." DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?" Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks..." DJ: "Uh huh..." Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time." DJ: "Atta boy, Brian." Brian: "On the kitchen table." DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this." [3 minutes of commercials follow.] DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?" (Touch tones.....ringing....) Clerk: "Kinkos." DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?" Clerk: "This is she." DJ: "Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now." Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?" DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?" Sarah: "No." DJ: "Good!" Brian: (laughing) Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?" Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest." DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us." Sarah: (laughing) "Yes." DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?" Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work." DJ: "What time?" Sarah: "Around 8 this morning." DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?" Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe." DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?" Sarah: (laughing) "Yes." DJ: "Where did you have it?" Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?" Brian: "Just tell him, honey." DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?" Sarah: "Well..." DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?Sarah: "Up the a$$..." After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station break" And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!HahahahaThat is sooo funny... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve 10,227 Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 Sorry.. I didn't see that Steve had already posted that.No, I didn't Well I edited mine and got rid of it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquidator 5,176 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Don't know if it has already been posted but...U MAD?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQLJQYrEpY8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hutcho 8,443 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Don't know if it has already been posted but...U MAD?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQLJQYrEpY8LOL, Someone should clearly put her back in the mental institute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milan 17,963 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Hutcho, nachikethas and Invasion 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1970 250 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Don't know if it has already been posted but...U MAD?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQLJQYrEpY8It`s why i hate these garbage talent shows on tv because of talentless arseholes think there better than they really are! Hutcho 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue-in-me-Veins 4,067 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 since we are on the subject of terrible auditions, here's AMERICA's Fuckin Best of them!http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=XVjhzlUJAlQ pHaRaOn, BleedsBlue and Paul1970 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kez 2,727 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Don't know if it has already been posted but...U MAD?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQLJQYrEpY8LMAO what a nutter! The auditions is the only decent bit on the show, just purely for comedy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue-in-me-Veins 4,067 Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 oh man my favorite movie, with the speeches of all speeches! this had me dieing hahaha, so adorable! and no you havent seen it hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warnie_666 1,081 Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 This is old but still cracks me up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milan 17,963 Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 BleedsBlue, nachikethas and Hutcho 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kez 2,727 Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 Find this a bit distasteful tbh. DavBlue and MetsajCFC 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DONI. 1,291 Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Hutcho 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRonaldo 55 Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Chelsea has Eva Carneiro, Spingboks have René Naylor termninja 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
termninja 5,290 Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Invasion 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kezza 1,965 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 gotta love youtube. Laughed so hard at this. Blue-in-me-Veins and termninja 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue-in-me-Veins 4,067 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 thank God this isn't my child.......hahahaha Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bill for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go. He said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had termninja 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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