Pizy

Can only imagine that the lack of planning in the window was because everyone at the club figured we'd just start the season like we did last year. They probably thought that even with essentially the exact same squad a summer off would bring them back to their best level and we'd burst out of the gate like Man City have so far. The shocking start made us panic and realize "oh, shit, we're not nearly as good as we thought we were," hence the scrambling in the last couple of days to get players. It's not all on the board, though. The players obviously take a huge amount of blame too. No way José could've imagined that Ivanovic's form would fall off a cliff and Terry would struggle like he has. The signs were there in preseason, though, and we should have been going after Stones weeks and weeks ago.

If he starts against Everton and scythes Lukaku in half I'll sing his name.Better yet, I want him to headbutt Martinez.

So we've signed one CB who we probably won't see more than a handful of times this season in Papy and another that we almost certainly won't ever see once in a Chelsea first team shirt. Brilliant business from the board. I have faith that our current lot will turn it around and get back on track but that was a shambolic window as a whole. Although United improved, luckily only City have improved so drastically that they've eclipsed us in terms of overall quality. They're the only team that you can look at and say immediately "yeah, they're better than us."

So a single first XI signing all window. Two if we hit the lottery and José drops Ivanovic. Well do very well to finish 2nd this season.

Eden has a jewfro! Who knew? Seriously, Hazard is one of those guys who doesn't know he's good looking. Or he just doesn't give a shit about his appearance. Always has a scraggly, patchy beard and messy hair.

Really strange how no one had even known United were interested in Martial before yesterday and he's now signed there for huge money. The trademark of a panic buy.

What the hell did you have to type into google to find this image? Do I even want to know?

Our activity these last couple of weeks has been nothing short of embarrassing other than Pedro. Scrambling and looking like a desperate guy in a brothel with and hour to spare. We should've been after Marquinhos ages ago when he possibly could've been had. Now we just look foolish and amateurish.

Actually think it would be sort of cool if he was brought in first and foremost to be a giant, brick wall of a DM. Clearly won't happen though because then both Willian and Oscar would be on the bench.

Wonder if he'll still be a Chelsea player at this time next year.

I've literally never seen a positive tweet by that Chelsea Youth account. Every single time someone retweets him he's bitching about why we aren't playing some random youth player.

Neither of these random, no name CB's seem like Josè signings. We see opposition fans and media haters say that about many of our signings and its dismissed as bullshit by many of us here, but this time it seems true. I refuse to believe that if we were willing to spend £30m or more on Stones and (if you can believe it) a world record fee on Pogba that we'd stoop down to this level.

So strange.

This is getting embarrassing now. Seriously, what the fuck is going on!?

Look at him in this pic. Doesn't even look like himself. Growing his hair out and his face looks a bit pudgy. Kind of has a little afro going.

Would definitely suck seeing him go to a rival but he really isn't the player they need. Pedro was the sort of player they needed. A natural wide RW with pace and ability to stretch defenses. Griezmann basically plays the role that Rooney or Mata play just off of the striker. He'd be a signing just like Di Maria and Falcao where all they care about is the name and making a statement. Mata has probably been their best attacking player so far and they'd just bench him? I don't know.

Hasn't the window closed over there?

Of the big clubs I think ourselves, City, Liverpool, and Arsenal are all done. Think Spuds and United will bring one or two more in each.

The thing is, I'd actually believe that report. Shit team in a shit league, bang average player. I highly doubt José would've known much, if anything about him.

You couldn't make it up!

At least they're panic buying a quality player! By all accounts this dude is Championship standard. Fuck sake.

Wow. Everyone will be laughing at this signing won't they?

Yet to see one positive tweet or article about this signing. Possibly the most underwhelming signing we've made in as long as I can remember. Again, I'd rather just not sign anyone.

This snippet from someone at the Daily Mail who knows him isn't exactly comforting: "Is he what Chelsea are looking for? Doubtful. Based on how high they set the bar with John Stones, definitely not. Considering how late it is in the transfer window, this is being labelled a last-minute bargain, and even a panic-buy. Many in France, however, have struggled to understand the rush of interest in Djilobodji from elsewhere in Europe. Chelsea also made noises over Ezequiel Garay from Zenit St Petersburg and Athletic Bilbao's Aymeric Laporte, preferred options but complicated to complete on time. In an ideal world, they want a long-term replacement for John Terry, but they'll get little more than a moderately creative centre half with reasonable physical ability in Djilobodji."