BlueLion.

Thank you Paulo. Gentleman, professional, and translator extraodinaire!

23 goals in total for 12/13. I've criticised him at times, but will always love him. Can't help but smile from ear-to-ear when he scores! Thanks Nando!

Feel like an absolute cunt to have joined in with the abuse of him, to be honest. Going to eat some humble pie. Thanks Rafa.

Fair, but it isn't even possible for me to present a collage of the amount of fucks I give about this game; it means absolutely nothing to me. Couldn't care less if we were thumped 5-0 in both games in truth. Just two pointless games after a 69-match season, but the directors only care about the $$$$$$$$. We'll see more of this in the future, as these prestigious friendlies are a way around financial fair-play. The only positive for me is we might see Oriol given a run-out after his injury, and a few more academy stars, like Boga and Feruz. BUT I don't mean to sound like I am trying to demean the occasion for you, it is some small award for our foreign fans who follow us through thick and thin (and the dead of night), so I hope you enjoy the match!

So this, therefore, is a 1.30am kick-off on Saturday in the UK, right?

Super Frank's goalscoring record against Everton is jizz-worthy, no way this will be goalless today. Been just two 0-0 draws between Chelsea and Everton in the Abramovich era.

I would like to see what Bertrand can do over the course of a season playing at a competitive level in his own position. That won't happen at Chelsea. Rather that than watch his career stagnate, because Mourinho is bound to pick Cole as his first choice.

http://www.marca.com/2013/05/19/en/football/real_madrid/1368945895.html

The thing is, if Torres is underperforming, Mourinho will bench him because presumably we will have more options. Rafa clearly favours Fernando, but we also have had literally no other option than Ba.

Cech will retire about 34-35, I would imagine. Repetitive injuries have dogged him for the last three years; he's had a dodgy right calf and that troublesome left elbow.

Drogba only won that because of Munich, let's be fair.

^ because we're the two best teams in Europe?

^ absolutely. Also think that Bertrand could do with a loan so we can assess PVA as the understudy to Cole.

£8.24 an hour?

Cahill, Cole and Lampard will be released after the first game, in order to join the England squad. Can imagine City doing the same thing.

I think he could be a decent squad player for us next season, as an auxiliary right-back or deep-lying midfielder.

I see your point. Not as a striker, but as a false number 9. Could work.

^ I think that even though Cech is magnificent and has been a wonderful servant to us, we have the choice of keeping him for 2-4 years, or keeping him for one more year then bringing Courtois in for potentially a decade. Might be a small step backwards but in the long-term it would pay off. Cech deserves to delicately dealt with though, shouldn't just be benched like Cudicini was in 2004. He should be given every third game as Courtois slowly establishes himself, before eventually either accepting a position as back-up, or moving elsewhere. Can see him finishing his career at Sparta, in all honesty. Seems the sentimental sort of guy.

He'd do very well at a small club, where he could play every week and improve on his game. He'd be wasted here, I feel. Arsene, you know what to do.

Would rather sign Rooney for half the price, and keep Ba, Lukaku (and possibly also) Torres as our striking options.

Paper talk here in Britain suggesting Mourinho wants Ronaldo to come to the Bridge with him. Can we afford it, ahead of the FFP rulings? Albeit the source for this particular story is The Fail, other papers are running it too.

No. Not a chance. He's an overrated, money-grabbing tit. Perfect signing for Mercenary City.

^ LMAO Doni! We have more than one Israeli fan

^ exactly, Hilario and Blackman were both fully kitted-up without even playing one minute for us competitively this season. Terry is the captain, and is going to lift the trophy under all circumstances. Would look weird if he was wearing a suit.

He's 6'5" for fuck's sake!