Spike

THERE IS NO GOD One of my favourite Chelsea players of all time...

I never said that you said that I made it wrong.

Stop taking away from my fun.

Your mind is the thing that made it wrong, Mister.

So pumped for this guy.

Do Tottenham have any players left?

As long as the hackers on steroids don't get me, I'm cool with the interwebs. Also Internet memes are a brilliant example of Darwinian Evolution.

Hulk out - he hasn't even scored a hattrick for us yet.

THIS THREAD IS ABOUT SALOMON KALOU...TAKE A STEP BACK AND READ WHAT YOU ARE POSTING, IT'S ALL RUBBISH. WE ALL GO OFF-TOPIC SOMETIMES BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

He works a bullshite 9-5 job where all he has to do is punch numbers into a keyboard all day. When that shite is raining down on you, boredom strikes and forums are a good place to waste time. Anyway, the father usually does fuck all with the child until they are wee bit older. When my younger brother was born not me or his father could really do anything with him until he was about 1 or so.

OKAY I THINK THIS MAY HAPPEN!!!!!!

Now you are just being silly. You are becoming one of those you hate, Cap. Remember what Nietzsche said. I for one, dislike both of them. Since I am a Kalou hater that makes me a Torres fanboy. But since I'm a Torres hater what does mean about Kalou? AOFHAOJHFLKJADHF LKHAKJDH F

I remember when that happened. Was hilarious when the shite hite the fan. I'm looking at you, yes you, (not you Cap) see what happens you get drunk and go on the internet. PEOPLE GET ANGRRRRY

Apparently Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is a Chelsea fan. HAHAHAHAHAHA

That is why I said he was similar Sturridge, not exactly the same. Hulk will pass the ball hence his high assist stat, but given the oppurunity Hulk would rather shoot than pass. Besides in the Portugeuse leage Porto dominate the fuck out of the opposition and make a lot of chances per game, much, much more than Chelsea do. Since Porto makes more chances, Hulk gets more chances to shoot and pass hence the reason he has a high goal and assist tally. I bet you if Hulk signs for Chelsea he will be equally as frustrating as Sturridge. On another note since everything I've said about Hulk is wrong, I suppose he isn't: a good dribbler, fast, strong, a powerful shooter. If he isn't those things, than what the hell is he? He sure as hell isn't a fleet footed player like Marin or Hazard.

Cech Cahill - Luiz - Terry Ramires - Mikel - Lampard - Bertrand Hazard - Oscar Torres Cech Ivan - Cahill - Terry - Bertrand Mikel - Lampard - Essien Hazard - Torres - Oscar Cech Ivan - Luiz - Terry - Cole Mikel - Lampard Sturridge - Oscar - Hazard Torres

I don't want Hulk here but if he signs, I will support him 100% and hope he scores one billion goals in his debut. If he was a traditional winger and not an inside foward, this guy would be on the top of my wishlist. Here is what I think of him: He is strong but not as strong as everyone believes he is. His name gives people the wrong idea but I reckon he would be on par with Cristiano Ronaldo with strength - who is in fact quite strong. He is poor in the air, being not all that tall and has a poor jump. His shot is inredibly powerful. He isn't a great penalty taker, he just kind of thrashes the ball in the hopes that he doesn't go over the net. His dribbling is very nice and he is good a beating other players. He dives a lot. He is fast. Shoot first, pass later. Like Sturridge but a bit less frustrating. He doesn't provide width, cutting inside to shoot a lot. He might open up a market in Japan, due to his four years as a player there.

I think Fullham will try to resist selling to another London club, but it also depends on what Moussa wants.

NO. I'd rather let no players join Twattenham.

Everton bought him for £16 million so you guys can guess how much he will cost. In my mind he will cost at the vet least £21 million.

Gah, I hate the double pivot. I would like to see a 3-4-3 or some type of variation.

Came over on the first fleet. Stole three loaves of bread to feed my daughter and wife...

I also like my right footed wingers playing on the right and my left footed wingers to play on the left.

There is a reason why Chelsea only conceded 12(?) goals in the 04-05 season. Paulo Ferreira is 20% of that reason.

I don't think he needs the attention. He was the most fouled professional player in Europe last season.