Spike

An Englishman told me this joke once: What is the hottest part of The Sun?

He could be talking about us, AVB's Fruedian Slip seems to swing the favour our way.

I'm more than positive they will ask for a King's ransom (all of the Fabregas and Nasri money) if Arsenal are involved. They lost Gervinho to them and Lille wouldn't want to become a feeder club for Arsenal. Besides Arsenal can fuck off, we are twice the club with twice the ambition.

Players in Russia typically have very high wages.

He needs to be in the Startin XI straight away, overwise he will bever live up to expectations. Wasn't Robben his age when he stepped up from the Eredivisie to Chelsea? Imagine that, Robben 2.0 that doesn't get injured once a month.

So the race is on I suppose. I just hope to god he finds some consistency if he joins.

Hazard won't come cheap with Gervinho gone. Besides I would like to have both on the wings.

And unlike some 'clubs' we are trying to break even and aren't manipulating the rules by renaming our stadium.

Bejiktas or some club in Turkey.

We were better at signing players in the 90's. The game has just become far too greedy and cynical.

Why do we love our Box-To-Box players so much, but not wingers and creative midfielders?

I wouldn't thing twice about paying the €26 Million Euros required for Mata.

I'd rather someone younger.

If we don't sign Eden Hazard, I am literally going to lose my mind.

And the club is packed with players that speak Portuguese, so language won't be a problem.

I quite fancy Barcelona winning it all again. But not before Jose and Real give them a right run for it, though.

No. He is good at getting players sent off though.

50 goals in 100 appearances make you overrated nowadays. At Chelsea we only accept 100 goal in 50 games.

Are we even linked?

I'm terrible with these things. I'm afraid I will make a fool of myslef.

He was better at Marseille.

Can I move in?

Really Inter is the best fit for him. I would love him to play for Chelsea, but his wage demands make him seem like a mercenary. And the last thing I want is a player, that doesn't give two bollocks about the club.

Oh, shit. I didn't think of that.

Perhaps he is Kaka's illegitimate son. You know what those Brazilians are like.