Spike

Found out that I have Danish heritage on my mother's side. It must be pretty distant, great great grandmother I think. Minor but there regardless.

Aaah, thats brilliant on two fronts. One you've already mentioned and the other Strootman isn't joining United.

Matt Jarvis is a better footballer than all give him credit for. Definitely upper-middle table quality.

5 free apps and 5 free games are available at the Apple App Store today. I didn't have any of the 10 available, so I ended up with 10 free apps.

Queenslanders will know what this means...

AWFUL More along the lines: Fucking top transfer mate. This Schwarzer cunt is bloody great keeper. With him between the sticks no cunt will score against Chels. That Ruddy cunt can just fuck off back from he came from, useless cunt. On ya, Mark.

Tears to my eye.

Do people not realise that he wants to leave England? Quotes and sources: http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2013/may/31/luis-suarez-wants-leave-liverpool http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/luis-suarez-liverpool-striker-announces-1924034 "I don't feel comfortable here any more." Here as in England. Why would anyone want a player who wants away from the country? Is it really desirable to have a potential Tevez situation here? The last thing the club needs is some whiney tart going on holiday to Uruguay every month to play table tennis.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Ranger&defid=6199069

Already talk of him in Chelsea's first team? Well I already look like a tit!

lol, the ranger pom thinks 27 degrees is hot.

Stuck in torrential rain for few days. Isn't there a monsoon season in your countries? In my hometown it floods in January and February.

I'm going to have a proper go at a proper exercising regime tomorrow. I would love to look like De Rossi shirtless, but truth be told with all that hair, it'd be closer to Ryan Giggs.

I'm a stereotype. A Stralian stereotype.

A bunch of rich people that live in the Chelsea area complaining about how their lives are awful.

Okay you fuckers, time to end all this speculation. Throughout my time as an awesome top bloke I've been compared to three footballers: David de Gea, Peter Crouch and Gary Neville. Now you fuckers can see for yourselves that I look nothing like all three.

Well the situations are completely different, aren't they? PSG met the release clause which Chelsea refused to. It's not like Cavani was given the choice of which club he joined.

you wot m8? spoilers for Blade Runner

Bale - Villa - Lennon Paulinho - Dembele Sandro Ekotto - Vertonghen - Kaboul - Walker Lloris Good team, a bit annoying actually that Twattenham has put together such a decent squad.

Why does Chelsea need to get him?

Nooo, he should have stayed at West Brom. It's not like they are rolling around in world class forwards. He could have made the first team in a few seasons.

Hella old. Used to be about Cristiano Ronaldo. I really can't wait to see Neymar in action for Barcelona. Very excited, I hope Chelsea draw Barcelona in the Champions League. It would be perfect given Mourinho's return, Neymar's arrival and the rivalry between the two clubs. I better forget about before I get too pumped for something that may not happen!

And he never did. Unreliable cunt, this is you deserve to be banned. Bahaha, look at this idiot.

I don't think Rooney would join Barcelona, maybe as a last escape from ManUtd but his preference would be to stay in England. Just imagine him trying to learn a second language. Nobody would understand that thick scouse accent.

Why sign someone that wants to get the hell out of the country ASAP? I foresee a Tevez golfing in Argentina situation.