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Rollercoasters. I'm a great laugh at Thorpe Park as you can imagine...

1) Chelsea- I really am confident about this year. This is the best squad we have had in a while. A world-class striker would be the final piece in the jigsaw IMO but we still have enough quality and a manager who knows this league well enough tactically to win the league. Schurrle will add another dimension to our attacking play and Mata, Oscar and Hazard will only improve. The defence and midfield is identical to last season but we have the Mourinho factor, something other clubs can only dream of. If he can instill the same mentality into the players as he did in 2004 then we are in a very strong position. 2) Man City- We certainly won't cruise the league or necessarily win it of course. City have a far better strike force and look better than last season as an attacking unit. Pellegrini wants to play attacking football and has some of the best strikers and wingers in the world at his disposal. His defence and midfield is solid enough and will certainly give us a run for our money. They have a better squad than us but we have a better manager. 3) Man United- I'm still not entirely convinced that Moyes knows what he's doing. They have been poor in pre-season, haven't attracted any world class players to their team and are still trying to hold on to Rooney. This season will show what they miss from Fergie- he was an excellent motivator (as well as a prize ****) and Moyes might take a while to get used to the job. United haven't had an amazing squad the last few years. They have had a very good one with the addition of Fergie as manager. 4) Arsenal- They haven't improved. Spurs have slightly but might suffer from the loss of Bale but Arsenal always find a way of finishing in the top 4. They are still a decent striker, midfielder and centre back from challenging for the league. If Wenger had actually bothered to spend some money they might have been going places this season. IF they sign Suarez they could potentially challenge United for 3rd I think. It could be very unpredictable though and they could just as easily finish 5th. 5) Spurs- Assuming Bale goes to Madrid they will lack decent width. Paulinho, Capoue (presumably) and Soldado are great signings and they have one of the best midfields in the league if Villas-Bollocks gets it right with Paulinho and Capoue in there. Bale staying could be the difference between Spurs finishing as high as 3rd and as low as 6th though. Every season they bottle 3rd or 4th so I'm not ruling out a repeat of that. 6) Everton- Difficult to predict how Martinez will do. I don't expect him to do badly, more a question of whether it will be a solid mid-table or challenge for Europe. If they can hold onto Baines, Fellaini and the core of last season with the additions of Kone, Deulofeu and Joel they could have a very good season. 7) Liverpool- They still don't have a great squad, despite what the muppets may tell you. Aspas looks a tidy player, Coutinho could have an impressive season and they will be hopeful of keeping Suarez, although that could be the difference between 6th and 8th. The problem for Rogers is that its still a pretty shit team. Henderson, Downing, Allen, Skrtel and Borini are never going to get you far let's be honest. 8) Newcastle- Have strengthened their squad and don't have Europe as a distraction. Pardew might be a cock but he has some quality players at his disposal. 9) Southampton- Expecting big things from Pochettino this season. He's a very, very good manager and Wanyama is a terrific signing. Southampton have everything set up to be competing high up in the league- good manager, fanbase, squad, academy, infrastructure etc. and have money to spend if required. 10) Swansea- Would finish higher but have the Europa League as a distraction this season which Laudrup might want to progress in. They have signed some good players but their squad may not be big enough to cope with the Europa League and Premier league. 11) Sunderland- Di Canio has been working hard and got some good signings in. A few of them could be a bit unpredictable but the team look like they will work hard for each other and he is trying to get them to play football at last which I'm sure everyone bar Lee Cattermole will be pleased about. 12) West Brom- Steve Clarke will have another solid season I think. He might miss Lukaku but West Brom won't be in any danger this season. 13) Norwich- Have made some good signings and are starting to set themselves up as an established Premier League team. van Wolfswinkel, Fer and Redmond are good acquisitions, they may need a top drawer centre back to finish higher though. Certainly though, everything is there for them to stay in the league comfortably this season. 14) West Ham- Typical Sam Allardyce season. No real progress made but no danger really either. They will be fine as long as he's in charge. 15) Aston Villa- Expecting Benteke, Weimann and Delfouneso to improve with time. Still a young squad but will make slow and steady progress under Paul Lambert 16) Cardiff City- Easily had the best team in the Championship so have not needed to strengthen massively. Bellamy, Noone and Cornelius will be key players for them. I expect them to do well at home particularly. 17) Stoke City- Yes we all know Mark Hughes is a shit manager. He isn't shit enough to get them relegated I don't think but they will struggle. The squad is probably just about good enough to keep them in the league although they could just as easily finish mid table. Unpredictable. 18) Fulham- I actually think they could go down this year. They haven't strengthened much and are far too reliant on Berbatov. Teams that usually finish around them like Norwich, West Brom, Sunderland are improving. Fulham haven't. Like Stoke, they could do well instead. Very unpredictable. 19) Crystal Palace- 90% certain they will go down. Zaha carried them for much of last season, haven't made enough quality signings. If anyone can spring a surprise though, it is Ian Holloway. Everyone had Blackpool to go down and they did really well and probably should have stayed up. 20) Hull City- Never been more certain of a team going down. Wank manager, wank team, wank fans, will be gone by April. Bruce to be gone by November.

erm yeah about that...

Confused and paranoid

Thought I'd give this a bump as we are now only 9 days from the start of the Premier League season. My updated predictions: 1) Chelsea- I really am confident about this year. This is the best squad we have had in a while. A world-class striker would be the final piece in the jigsaw IMO but we still have enough quality and a manager who knows this league well enough tactically to win the league. Schurrle will add another dimension to our attacking play and Mata, Oscar and Hazard will only improve. The defence and midfield is identical to last season but we have the Mourinho factor, something other clubs can only dream of. If he can instill the same mentality into the players as he did in 2004 then we are in a very strong position. 2) Man City- We certainly won't cruise the league or necessarily win it of course. City have a far better strike force and look better than last season as an attacking unit. Pellegrini wants to play attacking football and has some of the best strikers and wingers in the world at his disposal. His defence and midfield is solid enough and will certainly give us a run for our money. They have a better squad than us but we have a better manager. 3) Man United- I'm still not entirely convinced that Moyes knows what he's doing. They have been poor in pre-season, haven't attracted any world class players to their team and are still trying to hold on to Rooney. This season will show what they miss from Fergie- he was an excellent motivator (as well as a prize ****) and Moyes might take a while to get used to the job. United haven't had an amazing squad the last few years. They have had a very good one with the addition of Fergie as manager. 4) Arsenal- They haven't improved. Spurs have slightly but might suffer from the loss of Bale but Arsenal always find a way of finishing in the top 4. They are still a decent striker, midfielder and centre back from challenging for the league. If Wenger had actually bothered to spend some money they might have been going places this season. IF they sign Suarez they could potentially challenge United for 3rd I think. It could be very unpredictable though and they could just as easily finish 5th. 5) Spurs- Assuming Bale goes to Madrid they will lack decent width. Paulinho, Capoue (presumably) and Soldado are great signings and they have one of the best midfields in the league if Villas-Bollocks gets it right with Paulinho and Capoue in there. Bale staying could be the difference between Spurs finishing as high as 3rd and as low as 6th though. Every season they bottle 3rd or 4th so I'm not ruling out a repeat of that. 6) Everton- Difficult to predict how Martinez will do. I don't expect him to do badly, more a question of whether it will be a solid mid-table or challenge for Europe. If they can hold onto Baines, Fellaini and the core of last season with the additions of Kone, Deulofeu and Joel they could have a very good season. 7) Liverpool- They still don't have a great squad, despite what the muppets may tell you. Aspas looks a tidy player, Coutinho could have an impressive season and they will be hopeful of keeping Suarez, although that could be the difference between 6th and 8th. The problem for Rogers is that its still a pretty shit team. Henderson, Downing, Allen, Skrtel and Borini are never going to get you far let's be honest. 8) Newcastle- Have strengthened their squad and don't have Europe as a distraction. Pardew might be a cock but he has some quality players at his disposal. 9) Southampton- Expecting big things from Pochettino this season. He's a very, very good manager and Wanyama is a terrific signing. Southampton have everything set up to be competing high up in the league- good manager, fanbase, squad, academy, infrastructure etc. and have money to spend if required. 10) Swansea- Would finish higher but have the Europa League as a distraction this season which Laudrup might want to progress in. They have signed some good players but their squad may not be big enough to cope with the Europa League and Premier league. 11) Sunderland- Di Canio has been working hard and got some good signings in. A few of them could be a bit unpredictable but the team look like they will work hard for each other and he is trying to get them to play football at last which I'm sure everyone bar Lee Cattermole will be pleased about. 12) West Brom- Steve Clarke will have another solid season I think. He might miss Lukaku but West Brom won't be in any danger this season. 13) Norwich- Have made some good signings and are starting to set themselves up as an established Premier League team. van Wolfswinkel, Fer and Redmond are good acquisitions, they may need a top drawer centre back to finish higher though. Certainly though, everything is there for them to stay in the league comfortably this season. 14) West Ham- Typical Sam Allardyce season. No real progress made but no danger really either. They will be fine as long as he's in charge. 15) Aston Villa- Expecting Benteke, Weimann and Delfouneso to improve with time. Still a young squad but will make slow and steady progress under Paul Lambert 16) Cardiff City- Easily had the best team in the Championship so have not needed to strengthen massively. Bellamy, Noone and Cornelius will be key players for them. I expect them to do well at home particularly. 17) Stoke City- Yes we all know Mark Hughes is a shit manager. He isn't shit enough to get them relegated I don't think but they will struggle. The squad is probably just about good enough to keep them in the league although they could just as easily finish mid table. Unpredictable. 18) Fulham- I actually think they could go down this year. They haven't strengthened much and are far too reliant on Berbatov. Teams that usually finish around them like Norwich, West Brom, Sunderland are improving. Fulham haven't. Like Stoke, they could do well instead. Very unpredictable. 19) Crystal Palace- 90% certain they will go down. Zaha carried them for much of last season, haven't made enough quality signings. If anyone can spring a surprise though, it is Ian Holloway. Everyone had Blackpool to go down and they did really well and probably should have stayed up. 20) Hull City- Never been more certain of a team going down. Wank manager, wank team, wank fans, will be gone by April. Bruce to be gone by November.

I just woke up for a piss. Checked the score now going back to sleep. Goodnight all

Looks like a £15 trophy you can get knocked up for your Sunday league team's 'player of the season' awards ceremony

http://www.standard.co.uk/sport/football/gareth-bale-may-not-train-in-hope-of-forcing-real-madrid-move-8746444.html So if the newspapers are right he may refuse to train. Very professional. I wonder what would happen if I refused to work to get a promotion. Footballers don't live in the real world

Jeremy Clarkson

In consuela voice: No, no, too late at night, no, no it sleepy times now

Was at his comical best for Blackpool's third goal yesterday

Happy Birthday

I hate tattoos but its on Mourinho, so I love it

23:30? Bun that, unless someone buys me numerous cans of Stella and a kebab or dominos I ain't watching.

Pablo Hernandez of Swansea city

I'm going to bed now, just thought i'd share that with everyone

don't get why people are moaning, he will hardly play because he will be 3rd choice. The same would have gone for Blackman had he been 3rd choice. Hilario is miles better than Blackman, who really needs regular first team football in the form of a loan

Horrible club are Chelsea...

It rained a lot here as well

Part 1: Charlie Adam Rio Ferdinand Anton Ferdinand Patrice Evra Ashley Young Wayne Rooney Luis Suarez Chicarito Nani Oscar Cardozo Alexis Sanchez Stephen Cunt Joey Barton Shaun Derry Andres Iniesta Ryan Giggs Danny Welbeck van Persie Kyle Walker Adebayor Craig Bellamy Victor Valdez William Gallas El Hadj Diouf Danny Rose Pepe Busquets Nemanja Vidic Johnny Evans Lee Hughes Samir Nasri Papiss Cisse Kevin Nolan

Bad. I have abandoned the forum for the last 2 weeks and missed hutcho's birthday. Oh the memes I would have posted....

^ You call that belated? HAPPY BIRTHDAY hutcho!

That 3rd kit is the most boring, unimaginative piece of cac I have seen for a while. At the risk of a slaughtering, I think this is the worst set of kits we have had in the abramovich era

#Alexout #WewantourBlueLionback erm only place to be for moi