The Pub - Discuss Anything

[Leif 6,006]

Did you know that the average speed of male ejaculation is around 24mph? This unfortunately makes it illegal to ejaculate in most school zones.

[Leif 6,006]

If you say you've never put your finger in your bellybutton, rubbed it around, pulled it out and smelled it before, you are a liar.

[manpe 10,861]

Did you know that the average speed of male ejaculation is around 24mph? This unfortunately makes it illegal to ejaculate in most school zones.

Faster than Bolt. If you ejaculate yourself through a 100m sprint, you may win a Olympic gold.

[Leif 6,006]

Every single night, when it gets past midnight, the tips of my fingers begin to smell like chlorine if you sniff them properly. Especially my left pinky and left thumb.

[OneMoSalah 8,886]

yay clocks changing because the 7 people who live in the Scottish Highlands want it that way.

Hey I am one of those 7 people, leave us alone

[TorontoChelsea 4,064]

A question to those of you from Football-first nations. In the U.S, baseball was the number 1 sport for almost a century. Because of this, English on this continent has adopted many words from baseball. "ballpark estimate", "Struck out", "Ill take a rain check", "I got to third base last night," it was out of left field", "He got a bad charlie horse", " The figure is in the ballpark", "that was bush league", "time to step up to the plate", "I covered my bases", "let's touch base", "she's out of your league", he got thrown a curve", "not ready for the majors", and many many more....What words or idioms have derived from football?

[Spike 12,049]

There is a great Halloween Steam sale on right now. Lot's of games 50% and 75% off.

Left 4 Dead 2 = $5

Amnesia = $5

Bioshock = $5

Alan Wake = $15

[OneMoSalah 8,886]

There is a great Halloween Steam sale on right now. Lot's of games 50% and 75% off.

Left 4 Dead 2 = $5

Amnesia = $5

Bioshock = $5

Alan Wake = $15

L4D was the shiz. Killing zombies was fun... pity that knobend who Derren Brown paid to act in apocalypse isn't me because I'd whip out a shotgun and shoot all the "zombies" that are actually people with their faces painted making rather weird gruntin noises like they are being sucked off by the hoover.

[Blue-in-me-Veins 4,067]

Man it feels so good to have power back.

my family and I are fine, power was out monday at 7pm. went while day yesterday doing nothin really just charging phones at friends house, and trying to savr the food by pytting bags of Ice.

wherr i live all that happnd was power outage some branches fell in our backyard, no trees (thank God). places like Little ferry anf Moonachie and Hoboken and Jersey City were hit the hardest i think the Jersey shore goes with out saying whats happnd there, its been devastating.

I'vr had no school Monday til today, pretty sure they will call again and shut school down for the week, no point really in showing up for thursday and friday.

Otherwise, im just hoping we fukin take it to them Manure cunts today even at 11v12,,and go on and win the CO Cup.

[CHOULO19 24,332]

@Blue-in-me-Veins, glad you are safe, mate. I hope everyone you know is as well

[Blue-in-me-Veins 4,067]

@Blue-in-me-Veins, glad you are safe, mate. I hope everyone you know is as well

thanks pal,, yea everyone we could get to is fine

[Rmpr 8,977]

@TorontoChelsea, I know some in portuguese, they will not make sense in english...

Zona do agrião (Zone Cress) - expression created by João Saldanha, refers to the penalty area, where major moves occur for attack and defense. The location (zone) where the planted watercress is a marshy place, so dangerous to tread.

Pimba na Gorduchinha (Kick the Chubby) - created by the speaker Osmar Santos, the expression means to have to do something quick for lack of time, equivalent to the slang Vapt Vupt also recovered by the language of the media (a sitcom).

Comer Bola (Eating (a) ball) - talk or do anything without realizing or inconvenience, hesitate, let any chance pass or be fooled.

Dar Bola a (Give a Ball) - give confidence to give input to dating (applies generally to women).

Na Marca do Pênalti (In the Penalty Spot) - last option for any situation, the only way to fix something when someone is ready to make any major decision.

Ficar/Deixar pra Escanteio (Stay / Leave to) - corner means leaving something / someone aside, forgotten.

Pisar na Bola (Stepping on the Ball) - when someone steps on the ball, it is a sign that you did something wrong, reprehensible.

Marcar um Gol (Score a Goal) - achieve a goal, especially when it was difficult to get such a thing. Could also be related to women.

Freguês (Customer) - when a team/somenoe loses again and again.

Chutar (Kick) - guessing; when someone say something without being sure.

Entrar de Sola (Enter Soled) – to go straight to the point without making ceremony.

Deixar no Banco (Leave in the Bench) - leave something / someone in the background.

Bater na Trave (Hit the Post) – to almost happen / get something.

Um a Zero (1-0) - when someone is in a win-win situation/ in advantage.

Pendurar as Chuteiras (Hang the Cleats Up) - retiring .

Tirar o Time de Campo (Take the Team Out of Field) - give up on something.

Fazer or Meio the Campo (Make the Midfield) – prepare the needs to do something.

Tá na Área e se Derrubar é Pênalti (In the area and penalty-tipping) – it is when only one detail is missing for something to be completed.

Só Correr para o Abraço (Just Run to Hug) - did everything right and now will only receive compliments, accomplished, celebration.

Bate um Bolão (Beats a sweepstake) - to be very good at certain thing.

45 minutos do Segundo Tempo (90^th Minute) - when something is resolved at the last possible moment.

Deixar Fora da Jogada (Leave out of Play) – to exclude someone.

Vestir a Camisa (Wear the Shirt) - one who believes and defends something, some ideal.

A special thanks to Google.

[manpe 10,861]

I just watched literally the worst movie I've ever seen, and judging by the comments I'm not alone. It's called Zombie Nation, it's an absolute abomination. To be fair the beginning wasn't the worst, but by the end it got so bad it wasn't even funny, although I did chuckle a bit out of atrocity. And to think this filmmaker has been making and selling films for over 30 years now, it's a fucking enigma. Only a select few of his creations have got past the magical 2/10 score on IMDb.

Troll 2 is Godfather compared to it.

[Spike 12,049]

I was just trying to be friendly by adopting your customs

Yeah nah it's alright eh, mate? I'll tell ya what mate if ya ken av a full on stralian convo with me, I'll agree that yer alright, eh? An if ya ken scull a whole bottle of piss in one go, I'll havta shake ya hand, mate.

[Naked Mole Rat 437]

Just out of curiosity, how did solonapoli get banned?

[CHOULO19 24,332]

Just out of curiosity, how did solonapoli get banned?

Constant swearing and attacking of other Italian members.

[CHOULO19 24,332]

He sure did rape buttner.

Meh...you can do better..

[Spike 12,049]

Meh...you can do better..

You feel like punching me in the face don't you? bring it on you faggot. I know multiple fighting styles, and I also carry a switchblade with me at all times. Something fucking tells me that you'd be better off keeping your arms down at your sides. If you can't fucking put "cause" and "effect" together in that pathetic brain of yours, I'll help you out here. You'll be standing face to face with me, and let me fucking tell you, it'll already be too fucking late to back down at that point. You might decide "well shit, I might as well stay true to my word and throw a fucking punch". This is where you will go wrong. I hope you don't have a job that requires two fucking hands, because you're going to be missing one after I'm done with you. I'll casually divert your fist off to the side, as you suddenly realize you may have gotten yourself into something you can't back up. You'll try to regroup and pull your arm back, but that wont be easy when I jab my spear-pointed Benchmade switchblade straight through the bone in your forearm, and proceed to rip your entire fucking forearm and hand off in one quick pull. At this point, you'll probably spend 2 seconds in shock. I say 2 seconds, because thats the amount of time you'll have before I reverse the knife in my hand, and uppercut it straight through your throat. You'll spend your last few seconds gurgling blood, and wondering where you went wrong. After that, I'll be forced to take care of any witnesses who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nothing a few quick choke slams can't fix, followed by a nice gentle slice across the jugular with the Benchmade.

Now, motherfucker, you sure you want to go through with that punch?

[CHOULO19 24,332]

You feel like punching me in the face don't you? bring it on you faggot. I know multiple fighting styles, and I also carry a switchblade with me at all times. Something fucking tells me that you'd be better off keeping your arms down at your sides. If you can't fucking put "cause" and "effect" together in that pathetic brain of yours, I'll help you out here. You'll be standing face to face with me, and let me fucking tell you, it'll already be too fucking late to back down at that point. You might decide "well shit, I might as well stay true to my word and throw a fucking punch". This is where you will go wrong. I hope you don't have a job that requires two fucking hands, because you're going to be missing one after I'm done with you. I'll casually divert your fist off to the side, as you suddenly realize you may have gotten yourself into something you can't back up. You'll try to regroup and pull your arm back, but that wont be easy when I jab my spear-pointed Benchmade switchblade straight through the bone in your forearm, and proceed to rip your entire fucking forearm and hand off in one quick pull. At this point, you'll probably spend 2 seconds in shock. I say 2 seconds, because thats the amount of time you'll have before I reverse the knife in my hand, and uppercut it straight through your throat. You'll spend your last few seconds gurgling blood, and wondering where you went wrong. After that, I'll be forced to take care of any witnesses who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nothing a few quick choke slams can't fix, followed by a nice gentle slice across the jugular with the Benchmade.

Now, motherfucker, you sure you want to go through with that punch?

Spike, I think you need a girlfriend. Because if you have time to write all that then you definitely have too much free time

I suggest her:

[Spike 12,049]

Spike, I think you need a girlfriend. Because if you have time to write all that then you definitely have too much free time

I suggest her:

I didn't write that one but I did write this:

Okay faggots you want to post outdated meme bullshit on my status go ahead. Just know that what comes around goes around and I will inflict pain or your loved ones. You pussies don't have the balls to walk up to my face and say this fuck-arse retarded memes you have to hide behind your computer and phone screens. I'll have you faggots know that I punched a guy once and I really hurt his jaw and I promise to Allah, Jesus, Buddah, Zeus and all the other cunt deities of all the cunt religions that I will do worse to you. Maybe I'll kick your dick, maybe I'll headbutt you Zidane style - I won't know this shit till the heat of the moment, till the exact second I see your fuck ugly faces. It's too late to apologise, the writing is on the wall and my wrath is burning with the heat of one million microwaved instant macaronis. The joy I will get from face fucking you with my left fist is only equal to the joy I get from cumming inside of the Queen of England every second Saturday, that's right fudge packers the fucking Queen of the fucking Commonwealth flies me over to Engalnd every second Saturday so I can blow my man seed into her pussy. What the fuck do you do every second Saturday? I bet you cunts sit around with your hands on your cocks wondering what royal pussy feels like. I'll tell you what it feels like, it feels like your dick is being sucked by a diamond encrusted fleshlight that's been modeled on Sasha Grey's twat. I'm coming for you and I will end your pitiful existence, just ask they guy I punched in the jaw - oh wait you can't! He is dead because I punched his jaw so hard! HA HA HA HA HA! You fucks have opened a can of repressed hatred and anger that can only be subsided by the spilling on innoecent blood. Congratulations, faggots.