manpe 10,861 Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Once, in Primary School, I had a very scary teacher who was doing art with us. She gave me her special brown pen so I could colour something in as all the other brown pens were being used.I broke the pen, and was too scared to say anything.So I went to the toilet with the drawing I wanted to colour in brown and took a big shit on the floor. I then got a paper towel and picked some of the poo up, took it over to a sink and tried to make it into a paste by adding a little water.I then dabbed my index finger into the poo mixture and simply stroked the areas of my drawing I wanted brown.I just wanted to share that with you all.Once, when I was a little boy, I got a huge need for shit. So I excused myself and went to the nearest toilet. For 5-10 minutes I was in complete heaven, I actually thought I'd died and was about to get it on with 77 virgins. Anyway, once the euphoria had passed, I started skimming and scanning for paper. THERE WAS NONE! Oh the horror. I did what every intelligent being would have done, I wiped with my hand. Obviously it wasn't effective enough, so I had no choice but to smear my trousers in chocolate pudding. I then got out of the toilet in stealth mode so nobody would spot me. With my hand reeking and behind squishing, I made it to my target - a loo upstairs. There I found the ugly truth that there was no paper either. I was distraught. Sadly I don't remember what happened next, but I probably escaped and went home.Moral of the story: always check for paper before loosening your sphincter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hutcho 8,443 Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 This thread should be called:The pub - Discuss your poo stories here. Manuf, Blue-in-me-Veins and Rmpr 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kezza 1,965 Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 I think I'm gonna attempt to grow a Juan Mata-esque beard.. well when I say attempt I mean not shave for ages until I have a beard...How many years will that take? 3-5?Matas beard is one of a kind. You cant recreate that shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike 12,049 Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 If guns don't kill people, people do, then do toasters not toast toast, toast toasts toast? Hutcho 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hutcho 8,443 Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 If guns don't kill people, people do, then do toasters not toast toast, toast toasts toast?And the riddle of the day goes toooooooo:SPIKE! Spike 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike 12,049 Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 And the riddle of the day goes toooooooo:SPIKE!Thankyou, but I'm just the deliver boy...I heard it years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneMoSalah 8,952 Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 How many years will that take? 3-5?Matas beard is one of a kind. You cant recreate that shit.When Mata first signed he didn't have a beard, it took him like 3 months to grow that bushy bastard of a beard. I'm willing to wait 3 months... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amblève. 4,995 Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 When Mata first signed he didn't have a beard, it took him like 3 months to grow that bushy bastard of a beard. I'm willing to wait 3 months...Have fun! lolIt will just get ridiculous after 3 weeks or so. At least that's how it looked like when I wanted to do a Mata till I shaved a couple of days ago OneMoSalah 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NiclasCFC 2,582 Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 Dont know where to post it so i ask here, Why did Justin 3d and Cap get banned??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kezza 1,965 Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 Dont know where to post it so i ask here, Why did Justin 3d and Cap get banned???Cap because of distasteful comments/pictures about the Hillsboro disaster. For justin, Check the feedback thread I believe. Might have to go back a few pages though NiclasCFC 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NiclasCFC 2,582 Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 Cap because of distasteful comments/pictures about the Hillsboro disaster. For justin, Check the feedback thread I believe. Might have to go back a few pages thoughCheers mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manpe 10,861 Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Justin got banned because Steve wanted so, you better not mess with him when he's in king mode NiclasCFC 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kezza 1,965 Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Pretty much every time when i have work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHOULO19 24,332 Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Pretty much every time when i have workI'm sure your boss isn't too happy about it either! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xPetrCechx 13,586 Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Any one who can help me with a queston about Thomas cook Package? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post! DDA 10,045 Posted November 9, 2012 Popular Post! Share Posted November 9, 2012 I've had an absolute nightmare few months in regard to the facts that my laptop has completely broken and to top it off, I got the YLOD on my PS3. Fuck life. I will return once I have the money for a new laptop. Hope everyone is enjoying this ridiculously attacking Chelsea side as much as I am. I also hope everyone is very unhappy with the ridiculously shit defending as much I am also. =) Keep it real TC. 1 Love, Peace! Hutcho, Blue Armour, Sheva. and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHOULO19 24,332 Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 1 Love, Peace! @Peace., is a great guy, but to say he's the one and only love is a bit of an exaggeration imo.. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manpe 10,861 Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 The possibility of Lampard and Cole leaving is scary. Chelsea without Drogba, Lamps and Cole will feel... strange. Only Terry and Cech will be holding the sentimental memories together and Mikel to some extent. nachikethas 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kezza 1,965 Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Yeah, it was weird enough with the game against Shaktah. Cech he only core player on the pitch.On another note.Anyone here workout religously? Lift weights etc? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHOULO19 24,332 Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Crazy thunderstorm. I have no TV signal, next to no cellphone coverage and an internet connection that won't last more than 5 mins. The thunder is so loud I feel like the sky is breaking. Scary! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now