Wishlist Zlatan Ibrahimovic

[bababoom 4,478]

He's 31... although he's amazing i'd rather us buy someone younger.

[Kezza 1,965]

He's a great player, but where would he fit in Chelsea? Surely he won't want to sit on the bench! And what kind of wages would he ask for?

I think this is a non starter.

Would be good in Chelsea on FIFA though. Tall mo' fo' always wins the headers on corners

[Blue Armour 4,436]

This would be on my list of unrealistic transfers...If there was one from that list I would want to be made possible, it would be Schweinsteiger.

[J.F. 1,484]

I hope the Chelsea God's do not make this happen. I hate Ibra, he's arrogant, ugly as hell and old! No thank you... Next!

[calculatingInfinity 1,472]

No thank you. His shitty attitude and inability to perform consistently in big matches can fuck right off. Also he's kind of old and it would insane giving Milan the money they want and meet his wage demands.

[LDN Blue 7,903]

Since when does a player initiate a move with the club?! It's supposed to be the other way round. I see no truth in this rumour.

[Solonapoli 256]

If the news was given by Tuttosport, I wanted to tell you that the newspaper TuttoSport is not even good for wiping the ass ..

[capriccioso 2,545]

Points against signing him:

• He's the Mario Gomez of Italy. Put him under any pressure whatsoever and watch his skull crush itself.
  
• He's not good enough for his wage demands.
  
• He's old.
  
• He has an enormous nose.
  

[capriccioso 2,545]

For the stat whores.

Stats for the last 5 seasons:

212 Appearances

129 Goals

64 Asists

42.4 Appearances per season

25.8 Goals per season

12.4 Assists per season

0.6 Goals per game

0.3 Assists per game

Yeah but until he moved to Barcelona he had never scored a goal in a CL knockout match. He still only has 4 goals scored in CL knockout ties, which is a terrible record for a purportedly top class striker.

[Blue Armour 4,436]

Points against signing him:

• He's the Mario Gomez of Italy. Put him under any pressure whatsoever and watch his skull crush itself.
  
• He's not good enough for his wage demands.
  
• He's old.
  
• He has an enormous nose.
  

He's a lot more skilled than Gomez though, but yeah agree with pretty much everything else.

[Spike 12,049]

Yeah but until he moved to Barcelona he had never scored a goal in a CL knockout match. He still only has 4 goals scored in CL knockout ties, which is a terrible record for a purportedly top class striker.

He isn't known for winning the Champions League but he is a beast domestically, and I can wager that if Zlatan is signed Chelsea will either win the Premier League and FA Cup or come very, very close.

Points against signing him:

• He's the Mario Gomez of Italy. Put him under any pressure whatsoever and watch his skull crush itself.
  
• He's not good enough for his wage demands.
  
• He's old.
  
• He has an enormous nose.
  

1. Hell naw. Mario Gomez scores 5 goals at a time against the like of Hamburg, Zlatan's goals are a bit more spread out than that. Zlatan can pass, dribble and score from outside the six yard box (which is impossible for Gomez).

2. Not many are.

3. Younger than Drogs and and still younger that Zola when he signed. I imagine getting about 4 good years out of Zlatan, and would equate to at least 50+ goals for the big guy.

4. Fuck you and your discrimination against large noses.

[capriccioso 2,545]

4. Fuck you and your discrimination against large noses.

That was a bit of a self-mocking post as I have an enormous nose.

But yeah, 50 goals for probably a 20 million transfer fee and a huge wage packet (in excess of 200k/week, probably) doesn't sound like a good deal.

[Spike 12,049]

That was a bit of a self-mocking post as I have an enormous nose.

But yeah, 50 goals for probably a 20 million transfer fee and a huge wage packet (in excess of 200k/week, probably) doesn't sound like a good deal.

Better than 10 goals for a £50 million transfer fee and huge wages.

[capriccioso 2,545]

Better than 10 goals for a £50 million transfer fee and huge wages.

12 GOALS!!!

But to be fair you can compare just about any of our transfers (except perhaps Mutu and Bogarde) with Torres and the player will come out looking better than Torres. He's not the best barometer, a better one would be someone who was good but not great- Anelka, perhaps.

[Jase 43,479]

No thanks. Already 31. Blows hot and cold. When he's on form, he's brilliant. When he's not, he's totally non-existent on the pitch. His attitude and character could be a major problem to deal with as well. Already have enough of those, don't need anymore to it...