The Australian Discussion Thread featuring 7 years

[Spike 12,049]

Go to bed, you're embarrassing yourself!

I embarass myself when I'm sobre.

[capriccioso 2,545]

Go to bed, you're embarrassing yourself!

Quick lesson in Australian English:

A cunt is a friend of yours.

Someone you call mate is a cunt.

Spike just paid you a compliment, you cunt.

[capriccioso 2,545]

I wonder if we should make the Europeans reach for urban dictionary...

How go the bush pigs, Spike?

[capriccioso 2,545]

Alright, Aussies, Englishmen:

This is the final battle!

http://www.espncricinfo.com/england-v-australia-2012/engine/current/match/534218.html

Without wankers like Johnson and Smith in the team we might just win this one. Bailey and Forrest still don't inspire much confidence. Good to see Hilfenhaus and Pattinson in there.

[capriccioso 2,545]

Oh you enormous cocks:

5.2

Finn to Forrest, OUT, and he's now the old batsman. That looks plumb.

PJ Forrest lbw b Finn 0 (1b 0x4 0x6) SR: 0.00

Forrest is the new batsman ...

5.1

Finn to Warner, OUT, 140.0 kph, a huge appeal for lbw but the umpire is unmoved. England have asked for a review. The ball was full and straight. Warner should have been playing forward but he wasn't. He hasn't played forward to anything today. He tried to close the face of the bat this time and play towards square, he missed and was struck plumb in front. That ball pitched on leg and middle and was going to hit middle. Plumb.

[KonohasOrangeFlash 2,607]

Forrest......*Facepalm* It'll be pretty dire for us Aussie fans in the next few years. Massive transition needed.

[capriccioso 2,545]

This is a fucking embarrassment. If you're going to lose, at least do it with some dignity. Australia have set a new record low for themselves, this is the worst start to an ODI by an Australian team ever.

On the plus side, Pattinson and Hilfenhaus and possibly even Lee might have a lot of fun today. All about shitting our way to 200 then bowling England out for 150. In the long run for a mediocre side like what Australia has become, it is far better to have a potent bowling attack and a rubbish batting line up. At least you can still win test matches by having a lethal battery of pacemen.

[capriccioso 2,545]

Broad replaces Finn, the quality in this England attack is endless.

Any chance we can borrow one of them for a while? We'll give you Welgedera, Randiv and Pradeep for just one. Everyone's happy, England get a few proven test-class players (lol) that'll win over the Asian migrant support and England's spare quicks get match practice. And Sri Lanka win test matches

[capriccioso 2,545]

Richie Benaud has a little equation with ODI cricket that more often than not works out correct:

Take a teams score at the end of 30 overs, double it and subtract 10 runs for every wicket they had lost by the 30th over.

At 4/68, Australia, at best will be 4/110 after 30 overs. 170 may well be all we can muster .

[capriccioso 2,545]

So, we've shat our way to 200 (thanks Mr. Hussey). Time to fulfil the other part of my prediction.

I say forget spin, be very attacking, and use the quintet of Pattinson, Hilfenhaus, McKay, Lee and Watson, to win within 40 overs. England won't have any trouble chasing unless they're reduced to 5/30 or something.

[KonohasOrangeFlash 2,607]

So, we've shat our way to 200 (thanks Mr. Hussey). Time to fulfil the other part of my prediction.

I say forget spin, be very attacking, and use the quartet of Pattinson, Hilfenhaus, Lee and Watson, to win within 40 overs.

Yes! C'mon Aussies! The Hussey brothers have been tremendous servants for Australian Cricket

[Ollie 4,400]

Without wankers like Johnson and Smith in the team we might just win this one.

This pitch would've been perfect for Mitchell Johnson. He has lots of horrible matches but when he's good, he's unplayable at times the way he can swing it. Woulda been a nightmare facing him in these conditions but regardless of that, defending 200 aint easy no matter the bowler.

[Kezza 1,965]

Listen to the lady with the enormous ear lobes

[capriccioso 2,545]

This pitch would've been perfect for Mitchell Johnson. He has lots of horrible matches but when he's good, he's unplayable at times the way he can swing it. Woulda been a nightmare facing him in these conditions but regardless of that, defending 200 aint easy no matter the bowler.

Barring an extraordinary collapse England have won this game.

Over the last 5 years teams have figured out that Australia are very weak at defending totals, which is why they're sent into bat first a lot of the time. Its lazy captaincy on Clarke's part to not chase when he wins the toss.

[Ollie 4,400]

This was a big toss to win, England won it and the only rational thing to do was put the Aussies in to bat. Clarke would've bowled if he had the choice too but that's the way it goes. The pitch is drier now and much more batsmen friendly than it was a few hours ago. Think this should be in the cricket thread anyway lol