Stingray 9,441 Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 How am I jack in this scenario lol. (I get the titanic reference).Because your fish is as big as Leo's Hutcho 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hutcho 8,443 Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 Because your fish is as big as Leo's *drums*Bud dum dum ching. Stingray 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheva. 5,373 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milan 17,963 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Strike 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusek 2,031 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Blue Armour 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJames 729 Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEpxzeFzB6k Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stingray 9,441 Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 lmaoooooo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edetarod 2,155 Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Paulinho is told he's been sold to Spurs LayZ, NiclasCFC and Paul1970 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IkE 267 Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Paulinho is told he's been sold to Spurs You know is bullshit, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1970 250 Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 TOO FUNNY NOT TO PASS ON!!How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said ...in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral..._________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. TacticalBlues, Peace., Belgiannutt and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1970 250 Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGnzwGztFhE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1970 250 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfkzbIHTsY8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve 10,227 Posted July 7, 2013 Author Share Posted July 7, 2013 https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=VZxr5e9W9eg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJames 729 Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ixovbXZBAQ*Ded* @ she sounds like an orgasmic pig rofl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hutcho 8,443 Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hutcho 8,443 Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJames 729 Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Oh my she is an idiot!!! Even if you know nothing about cars how does that advice logically make sense!!! Females *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1970 250 Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Only in America Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueLion. 21,491 Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike 12,049 Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Queenslanders will know what this means... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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