The Mak

If diving for penalties and free-kicks counts as an assist, it becomes a lot easier to see why he's there...

I would imagine Oscar will continue to be dropped for the truly big games and José to go with a 4-3-3 with Matic, Cesc and Ramires/MVG or a 4-2-3-1 with Cesc in the middle and Willian on the right. But if that continues to happen I don't see much of a point in keeping Oscar in all honesty...it's such a massive season for him. He really has to step-up, no more excuses please.

If on the very, very, remotely, slight off-chance any of the Chelsea board/hierarchy/staff/tea lady sees this, this is what you do: you give the parasite away for free. No fee. Just get him as far away as possible. Let him have his massive wages he doesn't deserve SOMEWHERE ELSE. Please baby Jesus, ANYWHERE ELSE.

To be honest, the most important player we convinced to come back from loan was Courtois, not Lukaku. Personally, I am absolutely delighted he's part of the squad and can't wait to see him in action. Lukaku? Well, I think everyone knew where he was going as soon as he said his little 'performing for a new club' piece before the World Cup. He believed his own hype and performed waaaaay below average (putting it nicely) in probably the best footballing tournament in the world. Maybe it gave him a wake-up call? Who knows. Luckily for him someone still wanted him, though not the CL club he had in mind but a club more akin to his actual level and not the imaginary level he had in his head. I'll say no more on him, because I seriously do not believe in giving so much debate to a player who contributed nothing towards the history of this club. I'll thank him for the fat fee we got for him though, that was nice.

Ah ok. Not that bad I suppose. Especially if this is true:

Judging from everything that has been said since the Lukaku move has become official, I'm afraid it seems Drogba is Lukaku's replacement as the Lukaku move seems to have been on the cards for quite some time. Remember, Mourinho was going to loan Ba instead of Lukaku last season until he turned into a massive coward. It seems like he only wants 3 strikers. Really hope I'm wrong though and Torres becomes 4th choice in an effort to ship him on as well...

Gods.

Wait, how many years does he have left on his contract? Why isn't he just sold for fuck sake?

No biggie, Zouma will eat Lukaku for breakfast.

That's the point though, a good second option. If we wanted a poacher we would've kept Lukaku or played with two strikers. This team currently needs a certain profile of striker and they are in the mould of Costa/Drogba.

Someone like Bony or Benteke would be fantastic.

If we keep on winning home and away against the top 3/4 other teams like we nearly did last season, I really couldn't give a shit. Attractive football is great, but when those teams that played it came up against us they looked like headless chickens and we often murdered them on the counter (City, Arsenal). I found a lot of joy in that to be honest. We also managed to get to the semi-finals of the CL and this was accomplished with the squad we had at the time. With our new signings this year I would expect us to perform a lot better against the smaller teams by sheer virtue; especially if Mourinho implements high pressing again against these types of teams. To be able to effectively press high against weaker opposition and counter ruthlessly against the more dangerous teams, well, that would be good enough for me to be honest.

In all fairness, TOPTB was one of his biggest advocates at the start of last season - as was I until we found out he asked to leave. Lukaku and his mouth have done little since to convince Chelsea fans that he is a fighter and not some kid who wants everything handed to him on a silver plate.

Zouma, all I'll say on the lad is...I didn't know tanks could fly! Michael Jordan, eat your heart out.

Yeah, so much for him being a Chelsea fan...

I do not see Didier starting an abnormal amount of games unless Costa gets injured around a particularly hectic time of the season. I also do not believe José is as sentimental as you would make it. He is a winner above all else and will always do what he thinks will help us win a game, or improve the squad (e.g. replacing Cole, Lamps and, probably this season, Cech).

Video or it didn't happen!

Yes, yes! Nerd alert!

Eh, those are the EXACT words used in Football Manager when you ask a senior player to tutor a younger one...

Yes, because Costa was bought to be a £32m bench ornament...

Wasn't backing him to return as a player, but how can you look at those pictures and not be happy?! The Living Legend has returned in the hope to make more history...I suppose it isn't that bad! This will be the best transfer window in history if this pushes Torres out the door. And at José. "Our transfer window is closed". Less than 48hrs later, Drogba signs for Chelsea. Biggest troll in the sport!

Kakuta was always a headless chicken to me to be honest. Pace is fine at youth level, but Boga has a bit more about him than that, naturally creative and such. He could do well if he works hard.

Cech before his head injury was best keeper in the world. No question. The thing that astonished me most about Cech then was that not only would he make a fantastic save, but sometimes he would also somehow managed to hold onto the ball even against some the most difficult of shots. Cech after his injury was still WC, but became nervous in certain situations regarding physical contact; less willing to deal with corners and less rushing out (especially this). Gradually, he started recovering in these aspects but he was never the same. When Cudicini eventually left and Cech made a mistake, we questioned if he was complacent because he wasn't being adequately challenged for his position. He also started picking up more injuries. Cech in 2012 during the CL run was at his absolute best, as good as he ever was in the past. However, he is still prone to the odd injury. I think it was up until the season before last where he was out for a lengthy enough period almost every season; we then had to rely on the likes of Hilario and Turnbull who let in very soft goals. At the beginning of last season he missed a small amount of games due to poor form and missed the end due to injury. 2012 was his absolute peak in my eyes and the downhill slope has already begun, albeit very very slowly, but it'll only worsen. Cech knows this himself. I remember his very aggressive interview at the end of last season about displacing Cudicini, being no. 1 for nearly 10 years and not giving his place up lightly (I can't find the article atm). He never said anything like it before, but he said it because he feels very threatened for the first time ever. So, when we think of this and think of Courtois' meteoric rise, do we stick with what we know is going to gradually decline or do we continue the development of already one of the best goalkeepers in the world? Cech will never be the Cech of 2005 again, I don't even think he'll be the Cech of 2012 again. I think the answer to this problem is a very simple one and, because he is a winner above all else (including sentimentally, e.g. Ashley), I think Mourinho knows the answer as well.

This is a paradox. How can you get spelling mistakes 'right'? You absolute moron. He isn't 'talking' either, he is posting. Idiot. Now, it's not nice to be abused just because English isn't your first language, is it? This is an international forum. Be a bit more fucking respectful of that fact.

Agreed. As I said previously, I'd much rather a 19 year old kid with massive potential making those sorts of mistakes than Luiz, a CB with close to a decade of extra experience. Who we were still waiting around for him to 'fulfil his potential', which was hilarious.