Spike

Bobby Zamora to hit row Z.

Note: It seems I forgot to add a keeper to the Chelsea lineup. It's Thibaut Courtois.

Who here hates QPR? We all do! Ugly badge, ugly kit, ugly illiterate manager, ugly results, and the human stain Joey Barton. Personally I’ve only met on QPR supporter in my life and he was and probably still is a cunt. Maybe it’s my predisposition to being misanthropic and cynical but I struggle to find a single redeeming feature of this club. I can look at teams like Tottenham, West Ham, Aston Villa and just about any team under the blue sky and find something respectable and admirable. But as of writing this I firmly stand by the notion: “Fuck QPR”. QPR Analysis:
 QPR are 19th; I’d say that is where they belong but in actuality they belong several leagues below the Premiership. They aren’t a good team. They aren’t even a potentially good team. One win, one draw and six losses isn’t a pretty picture. But another picture altogether is their squad, let me paint it for you. Adel Taraabt, all things said his IQ is probably on the wrong side of 100 but he is one talented bastard with the ball at his feet. He did quite well for A.C. Milan, he kept Robinho and Kaká out of the starting XI. Ten years ago this would have been an amazing feat but not so much in 2013 but still nothing to shake a stick at. Yet ‘Arry thinks he is three stone overweight. I can’t for the life of my understand why ‘Arry hates him so much. Taraabt may blow hot and cold but it’s a stark difference from most of the squad, whom only seem to blow cold. Don’t expect Taraabt to start or even make a cameo. ‘Arry obviously prefers his man-crush Niko Kranjčar. How many times has ‘Arry bought or loaned him? Four times? I don’t rate him. He has a knack for creativity but he is slow and injury prone. Oscar would turn him inside out in one pirouette. Sandro is a bit of a different story. He looks like Max Payne and gets minutes for Brazil. Albeit not many minutes but it’s not to shocking to see him appear in a friendly. He is in my eyes, QPR’s best player. Strong, quick and is a solid defender. A defensive-midfielder shouldn’t be a team’s most dangerous player but sadly for QPR, this may ring true. Given space and time on the ball he can smash the back of the net. He did it against Chelsea and he did it against Manchester United. He doesn’t do it often but don’t be a fool and think it will never happen. Leroy Fer: A strong, powerful man from the Netherlands. He gets minutes for Oranje and though they are a nation in limbo between youth and veterans; it is nothing to be unimpressed by. He did well for Norwich last season, strong on the ball, and strong winning the ball. His valiant efforts were in vain and Norwich were relegated; hopefully he is a bad luck charm and the same happens to QPR. His versatility forces him out wide occasionally and even behind the striker in the #10 role. But his usual role is in the central-midfield alongside Sandro. If he is fit, I expect him to start. QPR usually play in a 4-4-1-1 formation. Given how players shift and move around fluidly during a match, it is most similar to the 4-3-3. The two wingers push up near the striker and the #10 behind the striker drops deep into the midfield. But ‘Arry isn’t afraid to show off his tactical nous, sometimes he plays 4-5-1 throwing an extra man in the midfield. But is it really all that different from the previous formation? It looks different on paper but out of the pitch players aren’t static to one position. I fully expect him to play with a lone striker, two wingers, three midfielders and four defenders. He has played with a 4-4-2 diamond formation just once against Stoke. The match resulted in a 2-2 draw but it’s a risky formation that leaves the belly of the midfield open. Don’t expect ‘Arry to throw this formation out. Changing player’s positions, formations and everything in between is leaving QPR a mess. They have no consistency, so I wouldn’t be surprised if a 5-4-1 was employed but I expect a 4-4-1-1. How Chelsea can win: Control the ball, take advantage of the lack of pace QPR offers in their defence. Rio Ferdinand and Steven Caulker are the usual suspects at the centre of defence. Rio may be the biggest twat around but he offers a lot of experience from the highest levels of football. His knees and ankles can’t carry him as quickly as he would like but he has the positioning to make up for it. Most of Chelsea’s attacking line will be able to turn him inside out in moment if he puts a foot wrong. But in saying that…Rio Ferdinand has been banned for three games for insulting a supporter on Twitter. Richard Dunn will fill his spot. The same Richard Dunn that Tony Adams thinks is better than John Terry. Chelsea really can not be wasteful, they need to put the ball into the back of the net. QPR have hit a bit of form in their last few games scoring a few goals. Pass the ball quickly, move into the finally with swiftness to prevent QPR organising themselves and parking the bus. The faster Chelsea can retain and move the ball, the bigger the scoreline. How QPR can win: Defence. Organisation. Determination. Discipline. QPR will have to focus and remain consistent throughout the whole match to win. A single moment of idiocy will punish them. If QPR can remain organised and pick their chances at hitting on the counter they may be able to pull a few goals off. It will require a lot and everyone will have to dig deep. They can’t outpass, outscore or even outpace Chelsea but grit, determination and perhaps a few lucky calls can bring them 1 or even 3 points. Chelsea team news: Diego Costa - injured. Loïc Rémy - injured. Ramires - injured. César Azpilicueta - suspended. QPR team news: Joey Barton - injured. Alex McCarthy - injured. Nedum Onuhoa - injured. Jodan Mutch - injured. Alejandro Faurlin - injured. Rio Ferdinand - suspended. Chelsea form: 1st 23pts WDL 7-2-0 Draw v Manchester City (A) 1-1 Win v Aston Villa (H) 3-0 Win v Arsenal (H) 2-0 Win v Crystal Palace (A) 1-2 Draw v Manchester United (A) 1-1 QPR form: 19th 7pts WDL 2-1-6 Draw v Stoke (H) 2-2 Loss v Southampton (H) 2-1 Loss v West Ham (A) 2-0 Loss v Liverpool (H) 2-3 Win v Aston Villa (H) 2-0 Predicted team lineups:

The fuck am I reading? Yo mamma insults and racism allegations? Settle the fuck down.

Didier Daeninckx East of Eden - Oscar Wilde - Andre 3000 Arsenal Captain 2008-2011 - Obi Wan Kenobi Luis Sera from the 2004 video game Resident Evil 4 - Garry Sinese - Terri Irwin - Hans Christian Andersen Tim Tebow

Superstitious people on TC that think when they post certain things it affects the team's performance.

You sir are a topic creating machine.

What bothers me is that he was pretty good when he joined the club. Scored a couple of goals and was a beast on the counter. He even annihilates the competition with Egpyt. Out of fitness, out of form and too keen to impress Jose. Maybe those are the reasons for him shooting with result being that the balls goes out for a throw in. I can read a little Spanish but beyond that the language sounds like a blur.

Everytime he fucks up the Spanish commentator says "Salah jaja".

Of course someone will win it.

I imagine lounging around London somewhere. Doesn't have much else to do.

That is why I like Muller. He is so integral to the success of everything that Bayern (Bundesliga and Pokal) and Germany (World Cup) do. He is so instrumental in everything. There is no flash or elan but what he does makes Bayern and Germany the winning machines they are.

When the referee (whom is paid around $10,000 p/match) is unsure they refer to the video referee to make a decision. It's pathetic that the referee and his assistant can't make calls that refs were making a hundred years prior to the installation of the video-referee. Spineless swine.

Di Maria was pathetic in the world cup.

Costa is in a far more average team (though still a great team) than Ronaldo his achievement are in my opinion more weighted. Costa had 8 in the CL got his Atletico team to the final, which is an amazing feat by itself, much more impressive than Real Madrid due to Atleti's circumstances. . Scored 27 goals in La Liga and actually won it. Costa won trophies with a team that wasn't supposed to win anything. Real Madrid are an amazing team and Cristiano makes them a whole world better but I believe Real Madrid could do it without him. The same can not be said for Costa. CR7 is a better player can't argue that but Diego Costa's feats last season were just to important to the success of Atleti Madrid. A team that hasn't been to a CL final in 41 years and hasn't won La Liga in 18 years. Costa did very poorly in his cup run though

NO NO NO NO NO NO I have watched Australian Rugby League destroyed by video refereeing. It stops the game, slows it, takes the energy out of it. Even video referees don't do it right. For instance I watched a semi-final match between East-Sydney and South-Sydney and the referee was making some questionable calls and dragging out the decisions for simple trys. The video-referee analyed an East-Sydney try at least ten times before giving it but only analysed a South-Sydney try twice before giving it. Here is the kicker several plays before the South-Sydney try there were several rules broken that weren't looked at or analysed.

Get a Spanish ref in. Yellow cards for everything.

Hue hue hue, u r so funny. A condescending rhetorical question seasoned with a little sarcams. jajajajajaja He is good but is he even important? Portugal were awful in the world cup, he lost the league, Supercopa de Espana and scored a consolation goal in the CL final. He didn't score or assist in the Copa del Rey final. Not the best player in the world. Bale scored more important goals than him.

Has to be Muller, Costa, or Lahm. Simeone wins coach of the year.

As to those that are sore about the selling of Mata, you must appreciate the fact of Mata being a forward, not a midfielder. He essentially played as a second-striker as the great Italians: Baggio, Del Piero, Totti have played in the past. To include Mata in the team to his fullest potential requires a completely different style and approach to football than what Jose Mourinho offers. Sure he could have built a system around Mata but I don't think that is Jose's style as a manager. Mata was awkward for Spain's Tiki-Taka style and out of water in LVG's 3-4-3 and 4-3-3 systems. Personally I think Mata could (read: could) do well in Simeone's system if he were given a 'free-role'. If Mata was absolved of his defending duties, I believe he would be amazing in Cholo's 4-4-2, partnering Mandzukic. But I don't think that is Cholo's way.

Unlike the other two Sheva has charisma.

The meltdowns are omnipresent on TC. Carlo's sacking to the few months before Mourinho's appointment were the worst. A few amazing quotes came from that though.

I think Scott Steiner everytime.

You make too many grammatical, syntax and spellings errors to correct someone. Bish.

He'd better start today or I will post a condescending, arrogant and downright ignorant remark in the Jose Mourinho thread.