Spike

Im not very sobre right now and I took the title at face value. I literally thought Pep had joined.

Hulk would be a great marketing player. Not only does he have a fantastic name but I imagine he is very popular or at least very known in Japan. AND IF THE JAPANESE ARE MESMERISED $$$ €€€ £££ ¥¥¥

I often wonder how SHM knows these things. It makes me proud that an Australian has access to such knowledge. It brings a manly tear to my masculine eyes.

MOUTINHO is needed more than HULK. He is a very dynamic midfielder but perhaps a touch below Modric. At least Tottenham won't get any funds from us.

I really, really want this guy at Chelsea. As soon as the Hazard deal is wrapped up, Mou sould be the number one target.

This is like topic number 5 on this guy. MERGE!

I've been pondering for a while now: who is the superior Footballer Javi Garcia or Javi Martínez?

I'll bite. I feel so gay, right now.

Hazard. Because he is on my list of footballers that I have a man crush on. Especially if he wears 11.

I picked up on that when I hit post but I was too lazy to edit.

Well, I may as well just kill myself now to save any further embarassmen.

Best 3000th post ever; implying I banged Eva when I was 11. I shall go down in TC folklore.

I guess in a country where Dutch, French and German are the official languages it's easier just to communicate in English!

Never stopped me.

What is that in French and Dutch? I assume you speak both...

We have some great Belgian posters on Talk Chelsea and hopefully some great Belgian players at Chelsea!

More than likely it's Dortmund fans praying for such a transfer

My starting XI Hazard Hazard - Hazard © - Hazard Hazard - Hazard Hazard - Hazard - Hazard - Hazard Hazard wearing gloves

McEachran. Oh wait nevermind we are talking about players we can buy. Duh!

IT HAS TO BE ASHLEY COLE'S BODY!!!

The plot thickens.

Cheer up Zash. Here are some waffles.

Because real men aren't afraid to talk about others men's bodies and we are very manly. ...probably...maybe...

That third photo makes me grin.

Bertrand has tatoos which the other photo does not, unless they p'shoped them too.