Spike

Awfully arrogant man, not a good look on you...

We are a sentimental bunch, no really we are. More so than other clubs, we don't know when to say goodbye to our players. I like a lot of these players but a lot just don't fit into the future's grand scheme of things. OUT! Florent Malouda Wel this is a no brainer. Why is he here? Why am I here? What's the meaning of life? These are probably questions that come to you in the shower but since you don't have a pen you can't right them down so inevitably they are forgotten. Much like Malouda, the forgotten Frog with terrible fashion sense. Malouda probably wonders what happened. Well I'll tell you Mr Malouda. He aren't needed, you were put up for sale last season, so how you don't understand this, I'll never know. Now, I know some of you think he is the new Bogarde, but that's unfair. I honestly believe that he thought he was going to contribute to this season, he wants to keep his place in Les Bleus for Brasil '14. Conslusion: Au revoir, Monsieur Malouda. Salut! Don't forget your final paycheck! Michael Essien What happened? His knees happened, that's what. Why he is at Real Madrid? I have no clue. Why would we as supporters want him? We wouldn't, except for sentimentality. He isn't that old and should have a few years left...but the Bison is dead, shot dead at the knee caps. He has nothing left to offer that is special anymore. And it's sad to because he was hands down the best box-to-box player of the modern era. He could do it all; defend, attack, and show up for the big games. Never again we will see the bison. Conclusion: Unless someone is willing to lend him a new knee cap, Essien is outta here! Paulo Ferreira This one hurts. He is Paulo Motherfucking Ferreira, how can I say this? He looks like George Clooney and I bet is twice as suave. He isn't a high earner, but regardless he just doesn't get the game time to justify 40K p/w. He is close to retiring so I can understand he is stays another year. The dream is that he retires soon and becomes a coach here, but that's a dream and realistically, it's probably better for both parties to part ways. Conclusion: A final season back in Portugal maybe? Yossi Benayoun It's clear that he mates with Benitez because before the ex-Liverpool boss came to town, it was painfully obvious that he was surplus to requirements. Loans to Arsenal and West Ham spell this out. Get him out of here ASAP - nothing against you Yossi, but you can be replaced by a young up and comer. Conclusion: Goodbye Yossi! Have fun in Spain or Israel or wherever. Marko Marin As much as I thought he was going to work out, he just isn't. Has no final decision, he can't pick a pass, cross, shot or anything. There is a reason that Werder sold him only 3/4 of the way through the season. He is rubbish, failed me beyond all my expectations. Conclusion: Back to Deutschland for you Marko! Maybe some hack team will take a gamble on you. Ross Turnbull and Hilarious Hilario I'm far too lazy to write about both of these two. What do they offer us except for heart attacks? That is all. Conclusion: nPower Championship and retirement respectively. Gael Kakuta Bye bye. You'll never make it lad, your like a headless rooster, running around dribbling with no real end game. Much like Marin in the respect. Despite the circle jerks over him when he was a teenager he has turned out like so many wasted talents. Conclusion: Ligue Un? Ligue Deux? Branislav Ivanovic Yeah, that's right. Bane. I don't think he is up to standard. He has purple patches but he doesn't look comfortable as a CB or a RB and that's just not good enough for me. I suppose he could play as a cover but personally I think a replacement is ideal. I like him I really do, but I think his standards are dropping fast. He was such a beast in 09/10 and was solid in 10/11 but since then he has really dropped a few notches. Conclusion: He still a good player and he'd end up a great club in Germany or somewhere. EDIT: I forgot some players that I intended to write up. Fernando Torres Damn this guy all to hell. He looks class against shite teams like Rubin and QPR and puts in a decent shift concerning work ethic but he is output is not at the level of 50 million and almost 200k p/w. If he cost 10 million and was on 50k p/w and I'd reconsider but as of now, he isn't putting in the performances justifying his wages. Sadly I don't believe he will reach form and I believe he will stay. He isn't the man to win Chelsea trophies. Conclusion: Needs to leave ASAP but won't because there are potential buyers. Ashley Cole or Ryan Bertrand I think either Cole or Bertrand need to leave with Luke Shaw coming in. Cole is still good but deteriorating fast. I don't think his ankle is handling all his playing time very well. If I'm not mistaken he has been nursing a slightly dodge ankle ever since his Arsenal days. But Cole should only leave if a substantial offer from PSG or Madrid is put on the table. Bertrand on the other hand is solid, not great, already Shaw has surpassed him. Bertrand has put in some amazing displays like Arsenal for instance, but he just hasn't had enough playing time for everyone to gauge what his average performance level is. Conclusion: Next season, it needs to be either Cole and Shaw or Bertrand and Shaw. I'm leaning towards Cole and Shaw. And to top it off Ramires should be a utility player not a guaranteed starter. His passing and technique are crazy inconsistent. However his pace and work rate are irreplaceable, so I don't think he should be sold.

Well Ivan is fairly rubbish as a RB and not that great as CB if you ask me. And Wallace...it's a bit early to claim he is cover for right back, isn't it?

He didn't play though, therefore he hasn't been capped. Only called up. I agree that # on Facebook and here is really grating my nerves.

I don't see how that's unpopular. Seems universally agreed on. It's never specifically mentioned but I do find that people say that Hazard will win the Ballon D'or whereas they don't say the same about Oscar. I'm just waiting for next season, I fully expect something even more special from him. I'll never forget the explosion of activity when he signed, I've never seen the place so unified and ecstatic about a single transfer.

No we say 'rubbish'. Yes. What? Yes. Yes. Yes.

What else do you think we say? No cheating, just type out a few things that come to mind.

Unless their relationship degrades to the point of no return...

What in the actual fuck are you talking about you thick cunt? We say 'bye' all the time. It's pretty much 'bye' or 'see you', never heard anything that resembles what you said.

It only sound like 'raise up' because the last sound of 'razor' is rolling into 'blade'.

Well then you didn't really break in then did you?

Weird? You could type phonetically how I sound. I'm interested now.

According your maths she has only thrown away 2 months. Not quite a lifetime for a 50 odd year old hag.

Mate do you even realise how long I could go to jail for having child pornography?

http://vocaroo.com/i/s02KHmyAKb17

Nah. He is too cool. You are just getting your first blondies down under.

Cunts get fucked, upopulars don't.

It's called 'Unpopular Opions' not 'Cunt Opinions'.

Should have married her, that's prime gash, you know? Tell the bitch next time you see that if I was plastic I'd be dead because humans can't be made out of plastic. Dumb bitch.

He looks German. Like a cetain number 10 that plays for Dortmund named MATIO GOTZE

Stupid like a fox.

You know in New York just 'Chelsea Boy' is slang for a homosexual male? It's because there is a suburb there with a high gay population and guess what it's called. There is even a comic strip about Chelsea Boys, it's gay satire or something.

Why did you use the troll face? It wasn't necessary given that WHS is sliding down a slippery slope.

A few of them are older than you and more talented to boot. Whaddya gonna do? Huh? Whaddya gonna do?

Haha, pwned!