Yeah, that doesn't change a thing. Well it does help but never in the long term. It's probably a mix of both. My father isn't exactly the most stable or normal person. And I've been through a couple traumatic things... and I've had a few complete breakdowns in the past. The worst when I was 16. I don't know what the problem is or even if there is a problem. Sometimes there isn't a problem, it's like the problem was never there in the first place. And I feel good, confident, happy. But then next the thing I know I'm the opposite, nervous, paranoid, sad and uncomfortable and it feels like it's always been that way. Maybe everyone goes through this, I wouldn't know as this is the only thing I've ever known. Now I'm getting paranoid about it, what if there is no problem and I just think there is? What if I'm fine? I used to keep a mood journal when I was in High School, when I started expecting that something wasn't quite right. Going back and reading it, I can't remember any of it. Why I wrote it or why I felt that way. It's like someone else wrote it, but I know it's my thoughts. Sometimes it was written quite nicely and some times it was almost indecipherable.