Eidur the Spider

Cabaye to Palace confirmed. Outstanding signing for them and apparently only £10 million. Can see Pardew and the boys challenging for a top 8 finish at least. Penny for your thoughts Newcastle fans

Van Ginkel to Stoke on loan will be interesting.Big chance in the prem for the young lad what with N'Zonzi going and a first team space available. If all goes through without a hitch good luck to him. Hope he comes back to us ready for our first team

Shay Given nearing move to Stoke, surely a matter of time now for Begovic to come to us. http://www.espnfc.us/story/2516359/stoke-city-closing-in-on-signing-goalkeeper-shay-given

The new Chelsea FC Home Kit, to be revealed 16 July.

ROB ‏@1RobBeasley 4m4 minutes ago Mourinho shunned any pay rise and has agreed to sign again for the SAME money!!!!

ROB ‏@1RobBeasley 1 min1 minute agoView translation José Mário dos Santos Mourinho Félix has agreed a new four years deal!!!!!!!!!

Rob 'high on his own self importance' Beesley is at it again is he? What a helmet he is. Why do we have to have the biggest dickhead to get the inside scoops on our club. (This news aside obviously cause the hints point to citeh)

QPR striker Charlie Austin is putting other offers on hold while he waits for a Chelsea move, according to reports. The 25-year-old striker has made 66 appearances for the Rangers and scored 18 goals in the Premier League last season. His prolific goal-scoring has attracted the attention of West Ham and Newcastle but, according to the Mirror, Austin is keen to sign for Chelsea and is waiting for the Premier League champions to come in for him. Jose Mourinho is interested in the former Burnley forward, who would add to Chelsea’s attacking options along with recent loan signing Radamel Falcao. http://metro.co.uk/2015/07/05/qpr-striker-charlie-austin-rejecting-other-offers-wants-chelsea-transfer-5280577/

Cheers dude, season 1 was awesome! Rustin Cohle ftw!

Rob Beasley....

Okay so Rob Beasley has told us who we don't want...now tell us who we do want, that'd be nice.

and #CFC have told Atletico they are not interested in any swap deals

bet the next tweet will be 'have you guessed it yet??'. Total arsehole.

Rob Beasley, you old tease you.....

ROB ‏@1RobBeasley 3m3 minutes ago Luis says he wants to return to Atletico Madrid ...No shit sherlock springs to mind.. ROB ‏@1RobBeasley 42s42 seconds ago Atletico are offering players in return and......

ROB ‏@1RobBeasley 2 mins2 minutes ago Filipe Luis has told Chelsea he is unhappy and wants to leave.

Sergi Domínguez ‏@FutbolSergi 2 hrs2 hours ago Arda Turan will not join Barça if the news regarding Pogba joining next summer are indeed true. In theory, Pogba coming means no Turan

I got my black belt from ECKA, the English Contact Karate Association. I was about 14 when I got it, was super tough, three hours of 'training' on the day then an hours grading after that. Well chuffed I got it. I think I got a B if I remember rightly.

Nigel Pearson has been sacked. Blimey. http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11712/9899400/nigel-pearson-sacked-as-manager-of-leicester-city

I'm a black belt in Karate. This was some time ago though.

Begovic is certainly not 'better' than Cech in my mind, but its an excellent replacement. He will fill me with confidence if Tibo suffers injuries. Safe hands.

Arda Turan has reportedly signed a pre-contract agreement with Chelsea ahead of a summer transfer. The Turkey international has made it abundantly clear that he wants to leave Atletico Madrid this summer, having personally confirmed that his agent is in talks with a number of clubs. United were believed to be closing in on a deal for the 28-year-old, but according to Radio Marca, the player has signed an agreement in principal with Chelsea, with his desire to work with Jose Mourinho thought to be a decisive factor. Turan has a £29.1m release clause in his current contract, although Chelsea could lower his fee by using former Atletico defender Felipe Luis as a makeweight. http://metro.co.uk/2015/06/30/arda-turan-signs-pre-contract-agreement-with-chelsea-ahead-of-transfer-5273243/