Chelsea Transfers

[Fernando 6,464]

8 minutes ago, Vesper said:

    
(I do not think Guehi is worth the £70-80m or so Palace will demand from us)

 

these are the only 2 remotely (emphasis on remotely) non-injured CBs out there I would drop that kind of cash on

Ronald Araujo (crazy hard pull)
Alessandro Bastoni (crazy hard pull)

that leaves

in order of valuation:

Murillo 
Ousmane Diomande
Piero Hincapié 
António Silva (very expensive though and has not truly kicked on)
Castello Lukeba (very expensive though)

Gonçalo Inácio
Dávid Hancko
Cristhian Mosquera
Jonathan Tah (steal if we could get him on a free in the summer or for cheap in January)
Yarek Gasiorowski 
Martin Vitík 
Tomás Araújo 

I'm a big fan of Murillo. The only worry I have is if he is really good with the ball at his feet?

I like him because of his strength and PL acclimatize. But compare to the others how good will he be in a team that wants to hold the ball more? 

I like Hincapie but he is rash at times. Get's a lot of red cards, more then any other player there I think. 

[MoroccanBlue 5,306]

No chance Palace demand that with him being on his final year 

[ZAPHOD2319 4,480]

 

[Vesper 28,838]

1 hour ago, Fernando said:

I'm a big fan of Murillo. The only worry I have is if he is really good with the ball at his feet?

I like him because of his strength and PL acclimatize. But compare to the others how good will he be in a team that wants to hold the ball more? 

I like Hincapie but he is rash at times. Get's a lot of red cards, more then any other player there I think. 

One of Murillo's main strengths is his ball-playing ability

[Vesper 28,838]

1 hour ago, MoroccanBlue said:

No chance Palace demand that with him being on his final year 

more info on Guehi (good for us, but no idea why we structured hsi sell-on fee to EXCLUDE us trying to buy him back)

 

According to The Daily Mail, Guehi's transfer from Chelsea to Crystal Palace in 2021 saw the Blues retain both a sell-on clause and buy-back clause for the England star. Any permanent transfer from Crystal Palace would see Chelsea pocket 20% of the transfer fee unless they themselves are moving for the player, and the Blues would also have the opportunity to match any incoming offer.

Sell-on clauses in particular can complicate transfers, as the selling club doesn't collect the entire fee and might increase the asking price to make up for the deficit.

[mkh 274]

Chelsea are in talks over a fee for 15 year old sensation Mathis Eboue, who has already played and scored at U21 level. (@kierangill_DM)

🗯He is the son of Emmanuel Eboué♦️

 

[MoroccanBlue 5,306]

Tah on a free still the best option for me. 

[Fernando 6,464]

2 hours ago, Vesper said:

One of Murillo's main strengths is his ball-playing ability

Then he is number one priority for me. 

Forgot about Hincapie and anyone else, he is the one to get. Murillo is the defender we need to help improve the defense. 

[Vesper 28,838]

Defiant Joe Rogan insists he’s not a propaganda asset, just actually this stupid

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2024/11/defiant-joe-rogan-insists-hes-not-a-propaganda-asset-just-actually-this-stupid/

AUSTIN, TX – Following comments on Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, where multi-millionaire podcaster Joe Rogan blamed Ukrainian defence for “causing World War III”, the podcast phenom clarified that he was not echoing Kremlin propaganda, but is in fact truly this fucking braindead.

“I know it might seem suspicious, how I consistently and unquestioningly regurgitate Russian and authoritarian talking points to my millions of listeners,” explained the former host of a game show where contestants ate bull testicles for money. “When I say things like ‘Ukraine and Biden are entirely to blame for antagonizing Russia’ it’s not because I’m echoing Putin’s disingenuous justifications for invading a sovereign nation, it’s because I’m a true cretin who doesn’t know shit about shit.”

Asked to elaborate on his pinheaded methods, Rogan continued: “I’m not getting my information from any nefarious conspiracy. I get my info where all truly moronic online conspiracy chuds get theirs – TikTok videos, half-read wikipedia entires, and my own truly ignorant punch-drunk brain.”

Rogan continued to outline ways that his recent actions were not in fact an organized effort to shift his fanbase’s politics rightward, but instead a byproduct of his staggering naiveté and utter lack of critical thinking skills. This includes offering softball interviews to exclusively Republican candidates, consistently pushing vaccine skepticism, and listening to Jordan Peterson without once laughing in his face.

“Nope, no sinister agenda, that’s all just pure authentic simpleminded me,” Rogan continued in the middle of a rambling 3 hour interview with a discredited climatologist who claims super intelligent alien chimps built the pyramids.

“Honestly, I wish this was all part of a brilliant long con to profit off the dumbing down of a generation of economically disadvantaged MMA fans. How impressive would that be?” Rogan added. “But no, I’m too stupid to even understand the sentences I just said, and it turns out America just loves rewarding the dumbest, most aggrieved mediocre white men it can find. It’s entirely possible, baby!”

The 8th lead from Newsradio elaborated on how his own doltish limitations have fuelled his improbable career. “It was really lucky that UFC and conspiracy mongering became so popular, since it distracted fans from the fact that I’m far too idiotic to be a funny standup.”

Asked whether his famously uncritical credulity inherently benefits bad faith actors looking to use his platform to spread misinformation, Rogan answered “I don’t know what any of those words mean.” Still, looking forward, he assured his listeners that he’s far too much of an imbecile to look forward.

“Naw, I’m just gonna keep making this bullshit up as I go,” Rogan insisted. “It turns out there’s a bottomless market for encouraging mediocre men to hide their own intellectual insecurities and lack of curiosity behind claims that they’re ‘just asking questions’. I’ve been just asking questions for years and haven’t found a single goddamned answer, but it didn’t stop Spotify from making me rich.”

Rogan elaborated, “All today’s men really want is a daily reassurance that they never have to change or grow – that their own reflexive ignorance is worth just as much as any expert’s so-called facts. Luckily, that job description fits perfectly into the wheelhouse a truly mindless block-headed simpleton like myself.”

“Also, dragons were definitely real,” Rogan concluded, before reading ads for 5 different brands of supplements.

At press time, Joe Rogan has accepted a nomination as Secretary of the Interior for the incoming Trump Administration.

 

 

Site Disclaimer

The Beaverton is a news satire and parody publication. All articles contained within this website and on its social media accounts, however similar to real events, are fictitious. When public figures or actual businesses are mentioned by name, the corresponding story details are invented. In all other cases, any resemblance to actual persons, businesses or events is entirely coincidental.

Edited 14 minutes ago by Vesper

[Fulham Broadway 16,858]

11 minutes ago, Vesper said:

Defiant Joe Rogan insists he’s not a propaganda asset, just actually this stupid

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2024/11/defiant-joe-rogan-insists-hes-not-a-propaganda-asset-just-actually-this-stupid/

AUSTIN, TX – Following comments on Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, where multi-millionaire podcaster Joe Rogan blamed Ukrainian defence for “causing World War III”, the podcast phenom clarified that he was not echoing Kremlin propaganda, but is in fact truly this fucking braindead.

“I know it might seem suspicious, how I consistently and unquestioningly regurgitate Russian and authoritarian talking points to my millions of listeners,” explained the former host of a game show where contestants ate bull testicles for money. “When I say things like ‘Ukraine and Biden are entirely to blame for antagonizing Russia’ it’s not because I’m echoing Putin’s disingenuous justifications for invading a sovereign nation, it’s because I’m a true cretin who doesn’t know shit about shit.”

Asked to elaborate on his pinheaded methods, Rogan continued: “I’m not getting my information from any nefarious conspiracy. I get my info where all truly moronic online conspiracy chuds get theirs – TikTok videos, half-read wikipedia entires, and my own truly ignorant punch-drunk brain.”

Rogan continued to outline ways that his recent actions were not in fact an organized effort to shift his fanbase’s politics rightward, but instead a byproduct of his staggering naiveté and utter lack of critical thinking skills. This includes offering softball interviews to exclusively Republican candidates, consistently pushing vaccine skepticism, and listening to Jordan Peterson without once laughing in his face.

“Nope, no sinister agenda, that’s all just pure authentic simpleminded me,” Rogan continued in the middle of a rambling 3 hour interview with a discredited climatologist who claims super intelligent alien chimps built the pyramids.

“Honestly, I wish this was all part of a brilliant long con to profit off the dumbing down of a generation of economically disadvantaged MMA fans. How impressive would that be?” Rogan added. “But no, I’m too stupid to even understand the sentences I just said, and it turns out America just loves rewarding the dumbest, most aggrieved mediocre white men it can find. It’s entirely possible, baby!”

The 8th lead from Newsradio elaborated on how his own doltish limitations have fuelled his improbable career. “It was really lucky that UFC and conspiracy mongering became so popular, since it distracted fans from the fact that I’m far too idiotic to be a funny standup.”

Asked whether his famously uncritical credulity inherently benefits bad faith actors looking to use his platform to spread misinformation, Rogan answered “I don’t know what any of those words mean.” Still, looking forward, he assured his listeners that he’s far too much of an imbecile to look forward.

“Naw, I’m just gonna keep making this bullshit up as I go,” Rogan insisted. “It turns out there’s a bottomless market for encouraging mediocre men to hide their own intellectual insecurities and lack of curiosity behind claims that they’re ‘just asking questions’. I’ve been just asking questions for years and haven’t found a single goddamned answer, but it didn’t stop Spotify from making me rich.”

Rogan elaborated, “All today’s men really want is a daily reassurance that they never have to change or grow – that their own reflexive ignorance is worth just as much as any expert’s so-called facts. Luckily, that job description fits perfectly into the wheelhouse a truly mindless block-headed simpleton like myself.”

“Also, dragons were definitely real,” Rogan concluded, before reading ads for 5 different brands of supplements.

At press time, Joe Rogan has accepted a nomination as Secretary of the Interior for the incoming Trump Administration.

 

 

Site Disclaimer

The Beaverton is a news satire and parody publication. All articles contained within this website and on its social media accounts, however similar to real events, are fictitious. When public figures or actual businesses are mentioned by name, the corresponding story details are invented. In all other cases, any resemblance to actual persons, businesses or events is entirely coincidental.

But are we buying him ? Looks old in that presser -Hilarios replacement ?