Popular Post! Fulham Broadway 17,315 Posted October 14, 2013 Popular Post! Share Posted October 14, 2013 Two nuns sat at traffic lights in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside. "Oi, show us ya tits, you penguins!" shouts one of the drunks. The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we are - show them your cross". So Sister Immaculata winds down her window and shouts, "Screw off you little wankers, before I come over there and rip your balls off"! Sister Immaculata then calmly looks back at the Mother Superior and asks "Was that cross enough"? darrus, CHOULO19, Madmax and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post! Fulham Broadway 17,315 Posted October 14, 2013 Popular Post! Share Posted October 14, 2013 A woman goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor. "Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica up my vagina." The Doctor had a look, and said "Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're the sticker's off the bananas. Madmax, Rmpr, Spike and 8 others 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHOULO19 24,332 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Got this off twitter but i thought it was hilarious:I had a dream that I killed all the shirtless guys with "swag" and their duck face girlfriends too.....It was the Yolocaust. Fulham Broadway and Stingray 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post! Special Juan 28,141 Posted October 18, 2013 Popular Post! Share Posted October 18, 2013 Paddy was walking home late one night and sees a woman in the dark shadows. "Twenty Euros," she whispers. Paddy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it's only twenty Euros. So they hid in the bushes. They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It is a Police Officer. "What's going on here, people?" asks the cop. "I'm making love to me wife," Paddy answers sounding annoyed. "Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know." "Well, neidder did I, til ya shined that bloody light in her face!" Bosnian Blue, kellzfresh, Ainsley Harriott and 7 others 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Currently earning £100 a day collecting leaves. Raking it in. DDA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Arsene Wenger - Economic mindJose Mourinho - Intelligent mindBrendan Rodgers - Tactical mindDavid Moyes - Never mind! darrus, Rmpr, Barbara and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Silently I slipped the condom over my erect penis and unrolled it down the entire length of my throbbing shaft, never once losing eye contact with the young woman as she stared at me in wide eyed, jaw dropping disbelief ...Then breaking the silence I spoke ..."Yes, that seems to fit alright, I'll take the whole packet please ..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post! Special Juan 28,141 Posted October 23, 2013 Popular Post! Share Posted October 23, 2013 I can't seem to finish Alex Ferguson's autobiography. Every time I think I'm close, Howard Webb adds 6 more pages on at the end. Milan, Rmpr, DDA and 22 others 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Flash 1,144 Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Lol, the joke that keeps giving MOYES AS UTD MANAGER Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 After the weekend's football Liverpool are raving about the SAS -Sturridge and Suarez,As yet Man United are still trying to come up with a name for Welbeck, Anderson, Nani, Kagawa, Evra, Rooney and Smalling CHOULO19, darrus, Sidzeret and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHOULO19 24,332 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 My friends say I'm such a quitter. Could never underst... Special Juan and Blue Armour 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Flash 1,144 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Q: Why did the stoner cross the road?A: Who else would follow a chicken?Q: What does Barbie use as a tampon?A: A Tic-Tac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrayzayBarnet 126 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 What do you get if you hold a twenty pound note between your chin and your chest?A good Impression of Stephen Hawking at a strip club. Madmax, CHOULO19, Fulham Broadway and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrayzayBarnet 126 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 I bought Alex Ferguson's autobiography, I thought I'd got to the end but 6 more pages appeared... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 I bought Alex Ferguson's autobiography, I thought I'd got to the end but 6 more pages appeared... BluesChick 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 You know, I stayed up all night wondering when the sun went down. Then it dawned on me.--------------------I've just bought the British Gas advent calendar. Every time I open a door, a granny dies of hypothermia.---------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 This morning I ended up in a fight with a man dressed as a medieval poet, then at lunchtime almost choked to death on a German sausage...Things have just gone from bard to wurst. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHOULO19 24,332 Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Man, I'm so broke, I'm thinking of starting a government! darrus and Fulham Broadway 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special Juan 28,141 Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 I've just won the 'Most secretive person of the year' award.I can't tell you what it means to me. CHOULO19 and darrus 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHOULO19 24,332 Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 This one for Lukaku facts on Twitter really made me laugh:Lukaku was caught wrestling an anaconda for 30 minutes. Then people realised he was just masturbating. Ainsley Harriott, Strike, Madmax and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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