Drogba11CFC

Kalou almost had a chance but overran the pass.

"I want to sign for Utd" said Torres, Torres "Fuck Off," they said, "We want to sign Tevez, Tevez" So then he had to sign for the scouse And when he plays they'll clean out his house Fernando Torres, Liverpool's full of crime

He's sold his soul to the super devil!

WBA 2-2 Burnley Belletti did a Gerrard just then Chelsea 3-1 Ipswich (Ballack 16, 58, Lampard 84; Bruce 30) Bad performance, good result.

Chelsea 3-1 Ipswich SUPER FRANK! Kettering 2-4 Fulham And several "fans" are leaving early.

FUCK THAT WAS CLOSE! THANK GOD HE MISSED!

Ballack OFF Deco ON Kettering 2-2 Fulham And more shit defending, luckily it went over.

If only Gallas hadn't betrayed us...

This is a nerve-wracker. If I hadn't clipped my nails yesterday I'd be chewing them

Carvalho OFF Ivanovic ON

Chelsea 2-1 Ipswich WOOOOOOOOO BALLACK

Malouda OFF Drogba ON

Lampard shot over...

Another scare by Ipswich...

Drogba's warming up...

Kalou shot wide...

Another near-scare, Walters this time. Are Chelsea determined to take as many years off my life as possible or what? Chelsea 1-1 Ipswich HT (Ballack 16, Bruce 30) Where's the passion?

More cack defending, from Riccy of all people.

FUCK 1-1 Another fucking set-piece.

Stupid challenge from Alex, FK just over.

Chelsea 1-0 Ipswich Ballack 16 GET IN

Good catch by Cech under pressure from Counago.

Given away cheaply by Bosingwa, Counago headed over.

Try BBC radio online. Lampard shot wide after great play by Malouda. Yes, I'm surprised too.