Spike

There always seems to be a striker in the Premier League that is of questionable ability but is absolutely killing in it the goals department. They show up for one season and then never find their shooting boots again. Jelavic, Sisse, Ba (to an extent), Santa Cruz, Carroll, Zaki, Michu, Gyan, Ricketts, the list is never ending. This season's flavour is a mix of Danny Ings for Burnley and Charlie Austin for Queens Park. Ings has a respectable seven goals for Burnley, while Charlie Austin has nearly double at thirteen goals. It also debetable that Ings is the more technically gifted of the two. Ings is the smaller of the two; standing & weighing at at 178cm, 73kg and Austin at: 188cm, 84kg. Ings is also the younger of the two being twenty-two while Austin is twenty-five. http://www.whoscored.com/Players/91762/ http://www.whoscored.com/Players/82102 They are both English and fit a need for home-grown talent. I'm not starting a debate on youth or Patrick fucking Bamford so at the moment forget about it. Who has the longetivity to make it in the Premier League? Which is the better player? Which player could handle the pressure at Chelsea? Will the two be forgotten in three years and I'll be embarassed for making this topic? Will I be mocked like the time that Term-X made a post about Andy Carroll being the perfect 9 for Chelsea and proceeded to post a picture of a Chelsea shirt with "Carroll 9" on the back?

I will poor an entire bottle of tabsaco sauce down your bum hole

Who the fuck said it was an 'analysis', you little bitch? I will fuck your shit two ways from Sunday. Do not fuck wit the SS.

Costa is such a dirty player. He must be one of the most hated players in Spain and England.

2 ez

Easiest game.

I mainly hang around /v/ and /sp/. I used to go to /b/ but since the IDs were removed it has just become 90% porn.

no, m00t is kill

"He is one of the most offensive minded right-backs I've seen in the Premiership in a long time" - that guy that does Bien sports commentary. Well it's true. I don't know why games like Football Manager and FIFA portray him as some defensive stalwart CB when he is more like bloody Dani Alves.

Try adthe or atdhe, I can't remember the name. It just lists a bunch of streams.

Not in MUERICA

I will have your house precision bombed by the SAS, with written consent from the Queen. You are outta luck boyo.

What the in the name of the Queen did you just fucking say about me, you little chav? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the SAS, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Ireland, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gentlemanly warfare and I'm the top rooter tooter long range shooter in the entire UK armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this great planet, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, chap. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the world and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, banger. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Royal Marines and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little muppet. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn dolt. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, mate.

I cringe when I see a photoshop of a player's head on another's body.

Maybe they were and they didn't live up to his expectations. Mourinho has made some fucking shit transfers in the past. Essien to Real, for one.

Great article. I really like the part where it is just a link to this exact page.

But he is unbelievably shit.

LOADSA GOALS

Mini-Essien That feel when Sissoko is actually 10cm taller.

I got confused and thought that Bradford was the League Cup and Livepool was the FA Cup. I'm sad now.

@, iz dis u?

Woops, I was negative eight also. I read it as 1996.

I was two. I think The Wiggles were more important to me.

I'll tell Kieran you are being racist.

Imagine 2006 Essien in this team. Also: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2925032/Michael-Essien-t-believe-Frank-Lampard-trying-beat-Chelsea.html But Essien believes that Chelsea fans will not forget what Lampard gave the club. ‘Well, you know how fans are but I believe the Chelsea fans are always going to give him their warmth and respect everything that he did for the club,’ he said. 'I’m sure that they will give him a welcome.’