Unionjack

Excellent. Cant remember what prog on telly I heard it this week.

Cedric Soares How about just transfering Saints director of transfers to join our lot! Chelsea transfer news: Cedric Soares emerges as THIRD Southampton defender on Blues’ summer wishlist Antonio Conte is also hunting Virgil van Dijk and seeks a return for Ryan Bertrand as he looks to bolster squad ahead of Champions League football https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/3258765/chelsea-transfer-news-cedric-soares-southampton/

Brother Baku lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Head Friar said to him: "Brother Baku, you have been here 5 years now, you may speak two words." Brother Baku said, "Hard Bed." "I'm sorry to hear that" the Head Friar said. "We will get you a better bed." After another 5 years, Brother Baku was called by the Head Friar. "You may say another two words Brother Baku." "Cold Food." said Brother Baku, and the Head Friar assured him that the food would be better in the future. On his 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Head Friar summoned Brother Baku to hear his allowed 2-words. "I Quit." said Brother Baku. "It is probably best." said the Head Friar. "You've done nothing but complain since you've been here..... Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip. They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose, and they managed to bag six. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said that the plane could take only four moose. The two lads objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours." Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded, and the plane took off. However, while attempting to cross some mountains, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down. Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Paddy and Mick managed to survive the crash. After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, "Any idea where we are?" Mick replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year." Back and forth . . . . back and forth . . . . In and out . . . . in and out . . . . A little to the right . . . . a little to the left . . . . She could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . . Between her breasts . . . . and, trickling down the small of her back . . . . She was getting near to the end . . . . !! He was in ecstasy . . . . with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved . . . . Forwards then backwards . . . . Forward then backward . . . . Again . . . . and, again . . . . !! Her heart was pounding now . . . . Her face was flushed . . . . She moaned . . . . softly at first, then began to groan louder . . . . Finally . . . . totally exhausted . . . . she let out a piercing scream . . . . She shouted . . . . : "OK, OK, you smug bastard, I can't parallel park . . . . You do it . . . . !!"

See theres got to be some reason the Don wants this guy. I know my 1st preference is Rom but thats because hes a proven PL goal scorer thats young and wants so much to emulate his hero Drogs that hes going to be on fire, Just MAYBE Conte has other players and ideas he wants us to get to put another team together Every year I say I'm not going to look at transfers!!

Not seen any activity at all from any team concering him for awhile. But yes I think he would make us a good RWB, Shame hes not good on the left too

Or MAYBE Roms better than some here think he is I knew there would be a backlash after his kick out last night. Hes his oiwn worse enemy. Everyone around me in the stands had their heads in their hands just wondering WTF is going on with him. Hes not seemed his bouncy labradour fun self in training neither from the pics/vids Ive seen. Theres got to be summet in his head thats thrown his game off so much. But if he gets a 4 game ban just WTF doo we do? I cant see Conte do a 360 and start Bats. So it will be Willian - Eden - Pedro. That is IF Moses is fit. Lets hope the ban doesn't woek

Alot of problems amongst the lads but lets just hope we can keep our heads (Diego) and just keep knocking them down. After our 1st goal I was quite looking forward to a dominating game but of course someones got to fuck that thought up and last night it was Tibo. OMFG what was he thinking about? His babies in Madrid? He keeps doing daft shit like that. What I find pretty amazing is that Conte (Chelsea) is the first to beat Pep home and away in a season!. Thats a pretty good record

Now thats gotta stay in your head while its going on. To have one kid already and shes pregnant and on her way back to Madrid. Ive not got any but I know it would tear me up not to be with my young child and one on the way. Unless of course its not his!! Is this KDBs ex? Chelsea keeper Thibaut Courtois splits from pregnant girlfriend Marta Dominguez Thibaut Courtois and Marta Dominguez split in September last year The couple have a daughter, Adriana, and another baby on the way Marta has returned to Madrid while Courtois has stayed in London with Chelsea http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-4378578/Chelsea-keeper-Courtois-pregnant-Marta-Dominguez-split.html#ixzz4dNHLbzDL

Cheers man. Think we're cool tho We normally just book a flight and travel light but its the one place we're gonna do it 5 star. Sat down with a mate whos been and sorted out a 10 days there. Want to see a museum in Lima (what is it with ancient Peruvian pornographic artwork lol ) she wants to get some pink salt from site etc

I do understand where you're coming from. When you see some of the pinpoint passes he's made with opposition all round him yet hes got all the time in the world for crosses (not ONLY Cescy but others too) then you would expect he could take the gonads off a fly given time and space. And these lads practice these kicks for hours at a time. Look at that Eden practice corner when he scored from well behind the touchline. So its understandable how we can hammer our heads into a wall sometimes when the ball doesn't get past the closest guy to him at a corner kick.

As a couple of you know my Mrs has cancer and is terminal so shes come up with a bucket list of places,peeps she wants to see so it means we are off on some travels. Bless her heart she wanted to leave it till after the season ended but with getting visas n shit it takes about 4 weeks. So we plan to go the day after Saints and it means I get to see some crackers without Bournemouth. I just hope that the PL is tied up before we shoot off!!! We are off to the States first as I got to sell a few records to finance this trip tho my Mrs said she WON'T haunt me unless I buy them back ASAP.. So couple of weeks there in Texas,New York then to Spain to see mates,Peru - Machu Piccu, Thailand then Goa sometime in September when her folks are going to join us. Its going to totally do my head in as it already is but gotta kee it together and fuck up afterwards which is one thing I can do properly lol But been ordered no matter what state I'm in I gotta keep getting me season ticket and I couldnt let me 82 year old father in law (or Dad now after so long) go on his tod so I'll be back sometime or other. Just didnt want peeps thinking Glad that daft twat Unionjacks gone!! lol But got a few weeks to go so gonna shout as loud as my big gob can till then Sorry for the rant - it just spilled out!.

Didn't look at it that way. But then he could say no we dont want him - get him - then they wouldn't know wtf to think lol

The time is coming quicker than I thought that we will all be microchipped. It starts ouit like this. Then goes to banking details, DNA,blood. Then babies will be chipped fike pet dogs so we can be traced wherever we are. But of course its for our own good and if we dont have anything to hide why should we not want it! Cyborgs at work: employees getting implanted with microchips http://bigstory.ap.org/article/4fdcd5970f4f4871961b69eeff5a6585/cyborgs-work-employees-getting-implanted-microchips

I'm begining to think that Radja will actually be coming. He started off saying he was very comfortable,loved where he was etc. Now hes saying his fave player is Eden and he has friends at Chelsea.

Do we not think that IF we was NOT interested in him then Conte would just come out and say so to stop all the questions. Instead he says his normal ‘I think it’s disrespectful for the club, for my players.‘It’s not the right moment to speak about this.’ I think we need agent Cech on the case.

Heres his best bit

I'm more worried whether Conte will put RLC on for Matic but I see your reasoning. I hope we have some business already sorted for summer.

Well we know Shitty are going to get dirty again. Aguero will be after Luiz and I bet Kompany plays. IF our lads are awake when we go into this and theyre actually up for a win then it would be comfortable. Ill go with Eden - Diego - Willian Alonso - Cesc - N'Golo - Pedro Cahill - David - Dave

Cant see Pedro being chabed tho myself but we will need some CM creativity if we are getting the ball upfield. And with Matic playing crap Eden - Diego - Willian Alonso - Cesc - N'Golo - Pedro Cahill - David - Dave

Sadness! I hope we try Dave cause Pedro as Moses stand in flunked out! But as Dave was prob our set defender thats a gamble. But think we should take it. Might even be a time for JT at RCB

I think maybe Conte is looking at Conti as either RWB starter/backup.

Does it look like he sees him as RWB? Specially with him being so offensively minded.

I know it wouldnt be the same and I for one would sorely miss them both but those 2 coming in would make losing Diego AND Eden less hurtful!

My own likkle dream world mate

Well of course I meant IF Diego leaves!! Even I'm not daft enough to think wwe could keep Eden.Diego,Rom,Sanchez. Then again ............ A 3-3-4.............