The English Football Thread

[Laylabelle 9,351]

10 minutes ago, Vesper said:

one is the carabao cup final

april 25th versus citeh

Ooo did wonder..how did they get there?!

It's Southampton..was meant to be weekend just gone but changed.

Edited March 22, 2021 by Laylabelle

[DDA 9,690]

2 weeks off until the full madness begins. 

If I speak from my mind, I don't think we will end up with any trophies this season given the opposition who are still in the competitions and top 4 may even be a huge struggle from this point.

If I go with my heart, we can end this season with a top 4 position and 1 of 2 trophies. 

If we somehow manage to pull the later off.. it would be with alot of luck and great determination.

[Laylabelle 9,351]

Crazy its nearly the end! Season has flown by.

[Vesper 28,779]

3 minutes ago, Laylabelle said:

Ooo did wonder..how did they get there?!

It's Southampton..was meant to be weekend just gone but changed.

oki, so the I see 3, maybe 4 loses for them

out of the 9

call it 3 loses and a draw

so 11 points dropped

64 points end of the season

we have  great shot at over 70

I think we end up between 70 and 75

gun to my head, 73 (draw to Leicester, loss to Citeh)

71 if 2 draws  and a loss  (loss to Citeh)

72 if two losses and no draws

even if Spuds only lose twice and no draws, they are on 70

 

4th place for us I think

meaning we REALLY cannot have Pool win the CL and Arse win the EL

as we will be fucked

only 5 EPL teams can go to the CL

so Pool and Arse would go, along with Leicester, Manure and Citeh

so all in for Real Madrid and Slavia Praha

if Pool bear RM, then we can eliminate them ourselves

and if Arse beat Slavia

then we have to hope that one of the other 6 EL teams (Manure, arfff, do NOT want Ole winning a trophy, but odds are in his favour he wins the EL), Roma, Ajax, Dinamo Zagreb, Villarreal, or Granada takes out Arse along the way (all that only matters if Pool win the CL, which I cannot see happening)

 

[Vesper 28,779]

Reducing the chance of having his own ego massaged this season    Ain’t nothin’ but an ego thing. Photograph: Ash Donelon/Manchester United/Getty Images Barry Glendenning  @bglendenning UP FOR THE CUP? When Ole Gunnar Solskjær mused aloud last week that winning cup competitions is sometimes “more of an ego thing from other managers and clubs to finally win something”, The Fiver was at a complete loss to know who on earth he might have been talking about. While it was almost certainly a total coincidence that the Manchester United manager was speaking before Tottenham’s comedy exit from Big Vase but ahead of their appearance in the Sickly Sweet Caffeine Drink final, the Norwegian drastically reduced the chances of having his own ego massaged this season by masterminding Manchester United’s emphatic defeat by Leicester in the FA Cup quarter-finals. Mindful of the fact that his employers hold the competition in such high regard that they immediately sacked the last manager to win it for them, Solskjær elected to leave his Portuguese Get Out of Jail Card on the bench, only introducing him after his Brazilian Accident Waiting To Happen happened twice. It was too late to stop Kelechi Iheanacho further riffing on Manchester United’s pain, prompting him to once again offer thanks to the man above before scaring the bejaysus out of TV viewers across the land with an impromptu roar of “COME ON!” at the end of his post-match pow-wow. Iheanacho’s double sinks Manchester United and puts Leicester in last four Read more Leicester last appeared in an FA Cup semi-final 32 years ago and will play Southampton, who swatted aside a knack-ravaged Bournemouth with a minimum of fuss to earn their place in the FA Cup tombola. Having ordered a pint of whatever Iheanacho was having, Nathan Redmond channeled his inner Leo Messi to score two beauties and create another. “If we would know this, then we would change it, that’s for sure because we need a Reddy that we have seen today,” said Ralph Hasenhüttl, upon being asked why sightings of Redmond in full flow are rarer than those of Halley’s comet. “I always think about a very sensible player who is not always 100% convinced about his qualities and I think this is what we have to do.” Southampton and Leicester both owe Dion Dublin a pint for keeping them away from Manchester City and Chelsea, who will contest the other semi-final. By their own lofty standards, City made heavyish weather of beating an Everton side whose manager had no complaints about the exit. “I am satisfied because we were beaten by the best team in the world – they are the best,” gushed Carlo Ancelotti, whose own team are currently eighth best in England but now free to focus on reclaiming their rightful place of seventh. Chelsea, meanwhile, advanced at the expense of Sheffield United, despite not having it all their own way against the soon to be relegated side. In mentioning this match, most daily football emails worth their salt would aim towards the open goal that was David McGoldrick’s scarcely credible miss, but we’re not sure our own fragile ego could survive the hammer blow of emulating the Blades’ striker and somehow putting our effort wide. QUOTE OF THE DAY “Édouard Mendy will stay because he has an operation on his tooth. He needs to see the dentist because it needs to be done. It’s why we do it now” – Chelsea boss Tommy T makes a trip to the dentist sound even scarier than our monthly toenail-clipping session with Granny Fiver as he confirms toothache has led to his goalkeeper skipping Senegal’s Afcon qualifiers.  Édouard Mendy displays his soon-to-be worked on gnashers. Photograph: Dave Shopland/IPS/Shutterstock VOLTE-FACE OF THE DAY 21 January 2018: “The scary thing is that a large % of people now actually support these sackings as they’ve become accustomed to it … How can you build a football team without getting 2-3 years. A rule change is required to moderate sackings of managers mid season in their first year at a club” – Gary Neville says clubs can’t achieve anything if you don’t give managers time. 22 March 2021: “Salford City Football Club has parted company with Richie Wellens by mutual consent. We would like to thank Richie for his time and efforts at the club and wish him well for the future” – following a Gary Neville-led inquest into the club’s poor form, Salford City mutually consent Richie Wellens through the door marked Do One after just 122 days in the job. RECOMMENDED LISTENING Max Rushden and the pod squad invite your ears for a date with Football Weekly! FIVER LETTERS “I am quite sanguine, I’ve had a vaccination, my children are back in school and Brighton have even picked up a couple of points. So, if you don’t print this letter pointing out that an anagram of Martin Ødegaard is Rita Armageddøn it won’t be the end of the world” – Tony Crawford. “I too dwell in the land of soccer and am informed, with authority, that the woof god (Friday’s Fiver letters) is not at all malignant but is in fact warm and snuggly. Rather like a border collie” – Peter Harper. Send your letters to [email protected]. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Tony Crawford. NEWS, BITS AND BOBS The BBC and Sky have agreed a three-year, £24m deal to broadcast WSL matches from the 2021-22 season. “It is a landmark moment for the women’s game,” cheered FA director Kelly Simmons. Expect Borussia Mönchengladbach’s dressing room to be filled with the sound of hipster bands from June onwards after Xabi Alonso inked a deal to replace Marco Rose as manager.  Xabi Alonso: Bayern boss by 2023? Photograph: Christof Stache/AFP/Getty Images Fred has become the fifth Manchester United player to be racially abused online after his error in Manchester United’s FA Cup quarter-final defeat to Leicester. Meanwhile, police in Scotland are investigating alleged online racial abuse of Alfredo Morelos. The Confederation of African Football has turfed Chad out of the remainder of the Cup of Nations qualifiers after accusing the government of sticking its oar into football affairs. Mikel Arteta has praised Martin Ødegaard’s intelligence and influence after Arsenal’s comeback at West Ham. “When everyone was a little trembling he gave us that stability and that composure on the ball and he created chance after chance,” gushed the manager. Hopefully Real Madrid weren’t watching. And Lucas Moura insists the Tottenham players are all behind José Mourinho even if a lot of the fans don’t seem to be. “We believe in the coach. We believe in the coach because we know his history,” the Brazilian parped. STILL WANT MORE? RIP Peter Lorimer, a Leeds legend who had dynamite in his boots.  Tributes to Peter Lorimer at Elland Road. Photograph: George Wood/Getty Images The new WSL broadcast deal is the perfect riposte to the ‘no one cares’ brigade, writes Suzanne Wrack. Youri Tielemans does everything and that makes him a very good midfielder indeed, so says Barney Ronay. Ten talking points from the Premier League, WSL, Old Firm and FA Cup because we like to cover our bases. Juve’s decline is not all Andrea Pirlo’s fault, says Nicky Bandini. Sid Lowe on Bono and that goal for Sevilla will be appearing here soon. Goal-guzzling Erling Haaland’s patience is wearing thin at misfiring Dortmund, reckons Andy Brassell. PSG produced their best Pochettino-era display to go top of Ligue Urrrrrrrn, according to Adam White and Eric Devin. And Spurs’ win against Villa got José Mourinho back to basics … for now, writes Paul Doyle. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! RICARDO NUNES > BONO

[Vesper 28,779]

Newcastle United shuffling Walking Dead-style towards the abyss    Steve Bruce takes in Newcastle’s shambolic defeat at Brighton. Photograph: Getty Images Barry Glendenning  @bglendenning THERE’S TROUBLE IN TOON TOWN Say what you like about Steve Bruce but the Newcastle manager is no quitter. True, there was that time he quit Sheffield United to join Huddersfield. And the time after that he quit Plucky Little Wigan to join Crystal Palace, a club he would later quit to join Birmingham City. He almost quit them to join Newcastle, only to stay for a bit longer before quitting to return to Wigan. He went on to quit them for a second time to take over at Sunderland, who fired him before he quit his next job at Hull City and went to Aston Villa. They eventually sacked him too and he accepted the manager’s post at Sheffield Wednesday, a job he would eventually quit to take over at Newcastle. Given his record of resigning from seven of the 10 previous jobs he has held in a management career spanning more than 20 years, Newcastle fans could be forgiven for hoping he might throw them a bone by making it eight walkouts from 11. Having originally greeted his appointment with disdain on the grounds he was unlikely to deliver the kind of Total Football they marvelled in during the reign of his predecessor Rafa Benítez, they have now reached a point where they are collectively frothing at the mouth over his continued presence as their team shuffles Walking Dead-style towards the abyss. FA Cup quarter-final cruises and a new low for Newcastle – Football Weekly Read more It is probably important at this juncture to point out that, never having met Bruce, The Fiver is not one of his apparently countless “media mates” that Newcastle fans obsess over as they bristle in the face of suggestions from the punditocracy that by wanting to see their football team win matches every now and again they are in some way entitled and have preposterously unrealistic expectations. Currently unable to barrack their manager from the seats of St James’ Park for obvious reasons and having long been insufficiently organised to mount a protest worthy of the name back in the days when public dissent on British streets was still allowed, Newcastle fans have had to rely on voicing their disquiet through the always effective medium of raging on social media disgraces and paint-daubed bedsheets. Their pleas for Bruce to go have fallen on deaf ears and it has now emerged that the manager celebrated his recent vote of confidence by giving his players most of the international break off. While critics have suggested Bruce knows the jig is up and is actually trying to get himself fired so he can trouser a multimillion-pound payoff, given how poorly his side has performed in the wake of regular training sessions, a holiday could be exactly what his players need. QUOTE OF THE DAY “We stood there, looking at each other, eye to eye. He was talking to me and his eyes never left mine, but he must have flicked the ball up 47 times. He flicked it up and caught it behind him on his neck, down the back of his neck, hoofed it over his back and caught it on his foot, something I could never do if I played forever. I thought, ‘How do you give him a telling-off when he’s doing that?’” – the late Ian Greaves describing an attempt to give Frank Worthington a rollocking during their time at Huddersfield. Worthington, the maverick’s maverick, has died aged 72.  Frank Worthington at Leicester. Photograph: PA FIVER LETTERS “Ralph Hasenhüttl will have searched for the answer to many mysterious questions as Southampton manager this season, but Nathan Redmond’s undoubted ability, combined with his ability to nearly produce the goods when it matters, is something that has vexed us fans since Ralph took over too. Clearly a confidence player, perhaps Redmond would have his self-belief restored for the rest of the season if his manager were to show him certain football tea-time emails (yesterday’s Fiver) that compare him – almost unbelievably, certainly conveniently – to the greatest player of all time” – Tim Miller. “If you’re going to allow anagrams (yesterday’s Fiver letters), I would just like to point out that an anagram of Weird Uncle Fiver is cruel viewfinder. It kind of sums up your whole raison d’etre” – Steve Burton. Send your letters to [email protected]. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Tim Miller. RECOMMENDED LISTENING It’s a Football Weekly special: climate crisis and the beautiful game. RECOMMENDED LOOKING Here’s David Squires with his tinfoil hat on … football conspiracy theories.  Mmm, Quavers. Illustration: David Squires/The Guardian NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Liverpool’s Thiago Alcântara has been discussing the difficulties of Covid football. “You lack the boost fans give you in the final moments of matches,” he said. “There’s also the fact you can do very little every day around the city. You go from home to training to training at home and get into a cycle where that’s all you do.” Former footballer Gareth Bale plans to return to Real Madrid at the end of his loan deal with Spurs. Cesare Prandelli’s second spell as Fiorentina coach is over after an underwhelming five-month tenure. “I came to give 100% but as soon as I had the feeling this was no longer possible, for the good of all I decided to step back,” he sighed. “I am aware that my coaching career can end here, but I have no regrets and I do not want any.” A dismal run of form has prompted Bayer Leverkusen to fire boss Peter Bosz. “Our team has fallen into the same pattern over and over again,” sniffed club suit Rudi Völler. “We didn’t manage to put an end to the constant mistakes and get back on the road to success.” Stephen Glass has hot-footed from Atlanta to take over as manager at former club Aberdeen, with Queen’s Celtic captain and sub-zero hero Scott Brown the favourite to be his assistant. Gary Bowyer will be the latest manager to enjoy the long-term support of the Salford City board after succeeding Richie Wellens as manager. And Cameroon will be without Eric Choupo-Moting for their upcoming Afcon qualifiers after their FA reportedly emailed news of his call-up to the wrong address. STILL WANT MORE? The furore around Glen Kamara shows how racists can keep getting away with abuse, writes Jonathan Liew.  Glen Kamara and Slavia Prague’s Ondrej Kudela. Photograph: Andrew Milligan/PA Heard the one about the former Ipswich coach who is working miracles in the Cayman Islands? You have now. And Jason Humphreys assesses whether Germany can say farewell to Joachim Löw by winning Euro 2020. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! RABONA GOAL? RABONA GOAL!

[Atomiswave 6,072]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-9394015/Controversial-Harry-Maguire-foul-Cesar-Azpilicueta-used-catalyst-VAR-change.html#comments

 

That fucking neck block still infuriates me. How can these useless refs not register that was a stonewall pen? You are watching that shit in slowmo and on replay and you still get it wrong? Bent is bent....thats is the answer.

[Vesper 28,779]

Dreams of Qatar 2022: the stampede to get there is on    All roads lead to Qatar. Photograph: Handout/Getty Images for Qatar 2022 Scott Murray THE HUMAN RIGHTS WORLD CUP STARTS HERE (SORT OF) In 607 days’ time, pandemic allowing, the 22nd edition of the World Cup will begin in Qatar. A month-long celebration of transparency, love and the dignity of labour for which The Fiver cannot wait. It will in some respects be a unique experience, the first to be held in the Arab world and the first not to be played in May, June or July. However, in other ways expect more of the same: a few goals will fly in during the group stage, everyone gets giddy with excitement and rushes on to the internet to disagree aggressively with anyone who doesn’t proclaim it to be the Best World Cup Ever, then after the fact folk reluctantly admit that it wasn’t anywhere near as good as 1954, 1970 or 1982, how could it be? Oh, and Lionel Messi will underperform. Shoo-ins, the lot. It’ll be where you’ll find the in-crowd, and so the stampede to get there is on. A couple of confederations have been running their qualification competitions for a while already, so we know we won’t be seeing the likes of Guam, Chinese Taipei or Bangladesh, while the hopes of Nepal, Mongolia and Bolivia hang by a thread. But no dreams are yet to be extinguished in Europe, where qualification begins on Wednesday! Are England embarking on another campaign that will whisk them all the way to the last four? Could Scotland qualify for the first time since 1998? Will the Republic O’Ireland do a goal? Call us crazy, but anything is possible. Ryan Giggs the elephant in the room as Wales step up Euro preparations Read more O’Ireland go to Belgrade hoping to take something off Serbia, though that may prove a tall order given eight of their regular starters are out and they’ll be forced to play a 19-year-old who can’t currently get a game for Bournemouth in goal. Still, Luxembourg are up next, so there’s that. Though if they face a tough start, that’s nothing on their Welsh counterparts, who begin what in theory is the toughest challenge in All Football: a trip to face the world’s No 1 team on their own patch. Not an ideal opener for a country that hasn’t qualified since 1958. Wales go to Belgium, who haven’t lost a competitive match at home for 11 years, and Rob Page’s men could be forgiven for writing off the entire caper as a textbook exercise in futility. That’d be The Fiver’s inclination, but Wales are made of stronger stuff, and go into the game with genuine hope, not least because they’re on a four-game unbeaten run against the Belgians, the most recent meeting being that quarter-final at Euro 2016. More Robson-Kanuesque magic, please! “We know it’s going to be difficult but we’re going to give everything to get a result,” tooted Gareth Bale. “We want to take this opportunity to qualify.” Fans will be heartened to hear their star man speak with such determination, because Bale is notorious for looking like he wishes to be somewhere else – Madrid while at Spurs, the golf course while at Madrid, Madrid while back at Spurs – and he usually gets exactly what he wants. Qatar ahoy! QUOTE OF THE DAY “Not bad for five training sessions and one pre-season friendly” – the Highland League’s Brora Rangers remain deadpan after a sensational 2-1 Scottish Cup win over 2019 and 2020 finalists Hearts in the second round. There were dressing-room scenes, of course. @brorarangers the troooooops ️️ pic.twitter.com/eiM206o3Xc — Cammy (@craig_cam) March 23, 2021 FIVER LETTERS “I never write these sorts of letters, but a combination of Tim Miller’s praise of Nathan Redmond, plus the tribute to Frank Worthington in his Leicester strip (yesterday’s Fiver), prompted me. Sorry! My father, a lifelong Leicester fan, took me to my first match in 1971 at Stamford Bridge, where I saw Manchester United beat Chelsea 2-1. My main memory, however, was of John Fitzpatrick passing across goal, albeit outside the penalty area, towards Tony Dunne. Alan Hudson intercepted, whacking it past Alex Stepney. This goal prompted my mild-mannered father to chunter on for some time about how you should never pass across the goal. Of course the current United team now make it a badge of honour to do that virtually every game, as close to the six-yard box as possible, and indeed conceded again just last weekend because they seem to not have mastered some obvious truths. My father’s heart, god bless him, would not have survived the current United approach, although he would have been gratified by Fred’s generosity. He died just before the season Leicester won the Premier League and I like to imagine it was not just Nigel Pearson who was an absent influence on their success. A whole fallow lifetime of support meant my father was always going to do something about that once he got past the pearly gates” – Neil Wells. “Playing right-back for Walford Boys Club, I was, one Sunday in Scotland, tasked with marking Peter Lorimer in a charity football match. Neither of us felt like running around too much; he was nearly 50 and I was still smoking 30 B&H a day, so we had plenty of time to chat. He came across as a warmhearted and friendly man, who spent most of the afternoon trying not to humiliate me, which considering we lost 13-0 was quite an achievement. RIP” – Chris McHallem. Send your letters to [email protected]. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Neil Wells. NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Manchester City’s run of nine straight wins came crashing to a halt in Women’s Big Cup as Barcelona gave them a 3-0 schooling in the first leg of their quarter-final. “I think we can turn this around,” spluttered boss Gareth Taylor, while looking for inspiration in this match report.  City players after the 3-0 loss in Monza. Photograph: Getty Images City, meanwhile, will install more than 5,500 rail seats in preparation for a possible utopian future when fans not only go to games again – but also stand safely at them. Slavia Prague’s Ondrej Kudela is expected to be questioned over accusations of racist abuse against Glen Kamara if he returns to the UK for their tie against Arsenal. Marcus Rashford has vowed to reach the 390,000 vulnerable children in the UK who have never owned a book. “[It’s] time for that to change,” he said. “I want this escapism for all children. Not just those that can afford it.” Xabi Alonso has apparently not agreed to become Gladbach boss next season despite, erm, Monday’s Fiver claiming otherwise. And Egyptian painter Islam Battah is putting his supposed likeness to Lionel Messi to good use by entertaining kids at an orphanage. “When I started growing my beard, my friends told me that I look like Messi,” he honked. “When I grew my beard even more, the resemblance was clearer. The kids’ happiness is indescribable. When you make someone happy, God rewards you. I wanted to share this with them.”  Not Lionel Messi, earlier. Photograph: Sherif Fahmy/Reuters STILL WANT MORE? England might have an array of whizzy attackers but their hopes of finally lifting a shiny pot in the near-future rest in defence, reckons Barney Ronay. Martin Laurence picks 10 players who could throw a spanner in the England works. Ryan Giggs is the elephant in the room for Wales, reports Ben Fisher. Having been short-changed in 2019-20 and with bigger concerns on their minds, will fans remain generous when stumping up for season tickets, asks Ewan Murray. Which footballers have played alongside both Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi? The Knowledge answers this burning question and more. Frank Worthington was a pure entertainer on and off the pitch, writes Simon Burton in this lovely piece.  Frank Worthington in full Elvis garb. Photograph: ANL/Rex/Shutterstock Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! NEXT: Chelsea v WOLFSBURG

[NikkiCFC 7,942]

He basically admitted that he was just using Spurs to be match fit for EURO.

[Atomiswave 6,072]

FFP officially binned, uefa knew once city forced their way out of punishment they had to bin it.

Edited March 25, 2021 by Atomiswave

[Jase 43,479]

And Euro 2020 finishes on July 11...

[ZAPHOD2319 4,477]

21 hours ago, NikkiCFC said:

He basically admitted that he was just using Spurs to be match fit for EURO.

Tbf, who would want to be there for Jose's upcoming meltdown year?

[Vesper 28,779]

RIP

Edited March 25, 2021 by Vesper

[Jase 43,479]

Seems like this will happen soon...

 

[Vesper 28,779]

3 minutes ago, Jason said:

Seems like this will happen soon...

 

fuck that Norsk twat

[Vesper 28,779]

David Squires on … football conspiracy theories uncovered

Our resident cartoonist puts on his tin foil hat and reveals some shocking football-related conspiracies

https://www.theguardian.com/football/ng-interactive/2021/mar/23/david-squires-on-football-conspiracy-theories-uncovered

[Vesper 28,779]

The brazen neck to describe this as one of 'those big England nights'    Some England training entertainment, at the very least. Photograph: Eddie Keogh/The FA/Getty Images Scott Murray TV TIMES England play the worst team in the world later on Thursday. San Marino are ranked 210th and last in the official rankings, and we always trust Fifa when it starts talking numbers. That means they’ve been even less successful historically than the likes of São Tomé and Principe, Brunei Darussalam, the Turks and Caicos Islands, and Scotland. Kick-off at Wembley is at 7.45pm GMT on ITV. Not long after, Stacey makes a big decision in EastEnders, which sounds interesting, while over on The Dog House (Channel 4, 8pm) the folk at the kennels might have found a forever home for Grant the little West Highland terrier. Aw bless. Very much looking forward to seeing him scamper about. 'His own biggest critic': Ollie Watkins' road from non-league to England Read more The San Marino match isn’t a total waste of time, though. Well, it sort of is, but it does give Gareth Southgate the opportunity to rest Harry Kane, who played all 120 minutes of Tottenham’s laugh riot at Dinamo Zagreb last Thursday, then three days later pulled off the heist at Villa Park where poor old Matty Cash was done up like a kipper, well true and proper. Plenty of midnight oil was burned while planning that caper, and criminal masterminds are still only human like the rest of us, they get tuckered out too, so Big H gets to put his feet up. Just in time to catch the last of this year’s heats in MasterChef. Southgate had the brazen neck to describe this as one of “those big England nights”, slightly undermining an already ludicrous point by comparing it to the 9-0 win over Luxembourg in 1982. Drifting off into nostalgic reverie, he spoke of the “Luther Blissett hat-trick in my head” while insisting that “there are little moments in those games that we look back on from our youth and kids of today will do that.” The Fiver isn’t quite so confident about that, given the cumulative score between the two countries in their previous six meetings is 37-1, and we all know full well the only goal anyone remembers. Lightning never strikes twice, so expect a bored nation to start looking for the remote control at approximately 7.45pm and 6.3 seconds. LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE! Join Scott Murray for hot MBM coverage of England 6-0 San Marino from 7.45pm GMT, while Simon Burnton will mop up the rest of the Human Rights World Cup qualifiers on his clockwatch. QUOTE OF THE DAY “Yes” – Melbourne City’s Rhali Dobson accepts her partner’s proposal after she went over to celebrate with him, having scored in the final game of her career before retiring to support his cancer treatment. Think there’s some dust in the room. What an UNBELIEVABLE moment as @rhali_dobson's partner proposes to her after the game! AHH! #WLeague #MCYvPER pic.twitter.com/2RDSld3L5J — Westfield W-League (@WLeague) March 25, 2021 FIVER LETTERS “I’m not expecting a Fiver campaign, but consider this. Last Saturday my rubbish team Southend got a rare penalty v Firewall FC when our Tim Dieng was pushed to the ground by their skipper Jordan Clarke; definitely a pen, but Dieng made a meal of it by holding his face/head (though to be fair he had a bandaged head from a nasty cut a week earlier so could have been in pain). Clarke’s red card has been rescinded and now, instead, Dieng has been given a two-match ban. How is that possible when even ‘simulation’ spotted by a ref only gets a yellow and when theatrical tumbles are normal, unpunished fare in the Premier League and Big Cup? It’s bad enough that we’re probably going out of the league after 100-plus years without the EFL sticking an extra boot in” – Bryan Matthews. “Re: Neil Wells (yesterday’s Fiver letters). As a Manchester United fan, I was at the 1971 Chelsea away match in which United conceded the first goal through a pass across, just outside the penalty area, but I hope that Paddy Crerand owns up and calls The Fiver to state it was not John Fitzpatrick who committed this heinous crime” – Rob Burke. “OK, I know I’m not actually supposed to take anything seriously, to be emotionally pinged in any way, but in yesterday’s Fiver there were two remarkable letters, one in-good-faith report of a coaching change retraction, a young adult shifting the literacy rate of an entire country and an Egyptian who could make millions impersonating some Argentinian. Strange times; I enjoyed it” – Paul Benveniste. Send your letters to [email protected]. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Bryan Matthews. NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Crewe chairman John Bowler has stood down following the publication of the Sheldon report into sexual abuse in football. “We obviously welcome this decision,” read a statement from the Offside Trust. “We thought it might have been made in 2016.” FFP rules are to undergo dramatic change, with the key break-even measure declared “purposeless” by Uefa. Hmm … Fifa will not punish Norway after their players protested about Qatar’s hosting of the Human Rights World Cup before the 3-0 qualifying win in Gibraltar. “Fifa believes in the freedom of speech, and in the power of football as a force for good,” it cheered.  Respect, earlier. Photograph: Jon Nazca/Reuters Wales are licking their wounds after a 3-1 defeat at the hands of Belgium. “They are No 1 in the world for a reason,” sighed caretaker boss Robert Page. The Republic O’Ireland did a goal – two of them! – but it wasn’t enough to avoid a 3-2 defeat in Serbia. Slovenia defender Petar Stojanovic is revelling in his team’s 1-0 win over Croatia. “We’ve been told many times that we are just a skiing nation but we showed that we have a great national soccer team too,” he whooped. Former Dutch goal-getter Marco van Basten wants the offside rule scrapped. “I am convinced that football would be better without it,” he trilled. And Queen’s Celtic skipper Scott Brown will leave Parkhead this summer after 14 seasons with the club to join Aberdeen as player-coach. STILL WANT MORE? Six new England-born players, Michail Antonio and Human Rights 2022 to follow? The Reggae Boyz of Jamaica have big plans, as Paul MacInnes learns. How the EFL prepares would-be stars of the future. By Ben Fisher. From Weston-super-Mare to Wembley: Ben Fisher traces the origin story of super-Villan Ollie Watkins.  Every hero needs … Photograph: Eddie Keogh/The FA/Getty Images When it comes to Qatar, look to Norway to find a moral compass, writes Barry Glendenning. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! IS ADRIAN ‘AIDY’ BOOTHROYD STILL WORKING HIS MAGIC?

[Atomiswave 6,072]

47 minutes ago, Jason said:

Seems like this will happen soon...

 

May he long be there, sure he will get them results here and there and sure VAR will come to their aid but he is no where near WC. Good news imo.

43 minutes ago, Vesper said:

fuck that Norsk twat

Can you speak swedish Vesper?