The Benitez Thread

[Slam Dunk 1,442]

I heard 'tactically', but Mata's accent might be disguising it as something else. Also thought he said 'persons who came with him', referring to Zenden, the fitness guy and the analyst, not 'person' which makes it sound like he doesn't know who Bolo is.

[Jase 43,479]

Most probably no. No one ever wonders when Torres is going off the pitch.

Just substitute Gerrard with Mata in that situation there.

[BlueSanti 290]

Just substitute Gerrard with Mata in that situation there.

C'mon Mata is a clever guy. Sure Fernando is one of his closest friends but he must know he is not good enought.

[Jase 43,479]

http://www.weaintgotnohistory.com/2012/11/23/3679748/rafa-benitez-tactics-chelsea

A top article talking about our tactical setup and formation.

[Jase 43,479]

http://www.weaintgotnohistory.com/2012/11/23/3682854/rafa-benitez-management-style

This could be another deja-vu.

[TorontoChelsea 4,064]

It will be interesting to see what he does differently. Not really that much he can do really.

[Milan 17,955]

[Fulham Broadway 17,306]

Everyone to have managed Chelsea by 2014

CHELSEA FC has confirmed that everybody in the UK will have a chance to manage their club over the next two years.

The main quality Margaret Gerving wants in a player is politeness

England’s longest-running farce has drawn up a schedule of 15-minute managerial appointments, starting with 78-year-old Margaret Gerving from Carlisle, who will oversee the first part of Sunday’s match against Manchester City.

The huge rota will begin as soon as Chelsea staff find Rafael Benitez, who is currently hiding somewhere in Stamford Bridge with the keys to the main entrance and all the forks from the canteen stuffed into his coat pockets.

Margaret Gerving said: “My grandson puts the football on sometimes when he comes to visit and that’s given me enough insight to know that Torres can fucking whistle if he thinks he’s starting up front.

“I will be starting that nice Ashley Cole, though. Beautiful manners and immaculately turned out, he is. It’s a mystery no nice young lady has snapped him up.”

Each sacking will be accompanied by a six-figure payout and it’s hoped that Chelsea can drag the country out of recession by the time the first few million people have been sent on gardening leave.

Employed people will be allowed to manage the club during their lunch hour and the under-fives will be given overnight slots which are anticipated to be quiet, apart from the occasional Travelodge-related incident.

A Chelsea spokesman said: “I don’t have the full list of forthcoming managers to hand but I can tell you that Sven Goran Eriksson is about 62 millionth.”

[Rmpr 8,977]

@Fulham Broadway, OMG I CANT STOP LAFFING!!!

[Milan 17,955]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl0c3ucmXiY

[Tabby 0]

Rafa out. Never won anything.

[Jase 43,479]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl0c3ucmXiY

Not bad. Hope he can implement his ideas well across and manage the squad properly to obtain the desired results.

[cousin benson 76]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl0c3ucmXiY

weird to see him kitted out in Chelsea gear. fuck it, what's done is done, we can't change anything now. Lets be positive for Sunday and beyond!!!!!!

Come on the Chels!!!!!

[pHaRaOn 2,131]

Everyone to have managed Chelsea by 2014

CHELSEA FC has confirmed that everybody in the UK will have a chance to manage their club over the next two years.

The main quality Margaret Gerving wants in a player is politeness

England’s longest-running farce has drawn up a schedule of 15-minute managerial appointments, starting with 78-year-old Margaret Gerving from Carlisle, who will oversee the first part of Sunday’s match against Manchester City.

The huge rota will begin as soon as Chelsea staff find Rafael Benitez, who is currently hiding somewhere in Stamford Bridge with the keys to the main entrance and all the forks from the canteen stuffed into his coat pockets.

Margaret Gerving said: “My grandson puts the football on sometimes when he comes to visit and that’s given me enough insight to know that Torres can fucking whistle if he thinks he’s starting up front.

“I will be starting that nice Ashley Cole, though. Beautiful manners and immaculately turned out, he is. It’s a mystery no nice young lady has snapped him up.”

Each sacking will be accompanied by a six-figure payout and it’s hoped that Chelsea can drag the country out of recession by the time the first few million people have been sent on gardening leave.

Employed people will be allowed to manage the club during their lunch hour and the under-fives will be given overnight slots which are anticipated to be quiet, apart from the occasional Travelodge-related incident.

A Chelsea spokesman said: “I don’t have the full list of forthcoming managers to hand but I can tell you that Sven Goran Eriksson is about 62 millionth.”

Andy Warhol once said: "In the future everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes".

And I guess everyone will be famous by being Chelsea manager.

[OneMoSalah 8,885]

Pardon me for being an idiot and perhaps even paranoid here but what did Mata mean when he said they are training more movements statically? Statically?!!

Think he said tactically, because he went on to explain how they work on pressing and the team shape.