The Australian Discussion Thread featuring 7 years

[OneMoSalah 8,615]

It's happened to me. Twice.

Wtf.

[Spike 12,049]

You've been accused of rape?!

You haven't?!

[capriccioso 2,545]

So, the Socceroos.

We're shit and we know it, shit and we know it, shit and we know it....

Mind it'll be fun singing "Have you played in the World Cup? Have you fuck!" when we're taking on the mighty Singapore at home for the next dozen years or so before we qualify for another World Cup. Of course I'm referring to the fact that after the Germany Generation go (presumably the 2014 World Cup will be their swansong), we will be embarrassingly shit until about 2030.

Alternatively we can go down what I like to call the English cricket route and naturalise a whole heap of East African refugee's that we've taken in. Not sure if they'll be any good, though.

[manpe 10,857]

In the state of Queensland, Australia, it is still constitutional law that all pubs, hotels and bars must have a railing outside for patrons to tie up their horse.

is it so?

[capriccioso 2,545]

In the state of Queensland, Australia, it is still constitutional law that all pubs, hotels and bars must have a railing outside for patrons to tie up their horse.

is it so?

I wouldn't be surprised. Queenslanders live 2 centuries in the past. They don't even use daylight savings because, and I quote here from a guy from Queensland who phoned in to a radio show, "The cows won't know when to wake up".

[capriccioso 2,545]

Spike is a Queenslander, he would know.

I have heard that before, but the last time I went to Queensland I was only 17 so I didn't visit any pubs to confirm.

[manpe 10,857]

Spike is a Queenslander, he would know.

I have heard that before, but the last time I went to Queensland I was only 17 so I didn't visit any pubs to confirm.

you were only 17 and now you're what, 18? that's a long time

E: damn, I missed the point of your post. sorry, now I understand.

[capriccioso 2,545]

you were only 17 and now you're what, 18? that's a long time

E: damn, I missed the point of your post. sorry, now I understand.

Just to clarify for everybody else, you can't enter a pub until you're 18.

[We Hate Scouse 10,261]

Just to clarify for everybody else, you can't enter a pub until you're 18.

Surely you can enter, but not drink?

[Spike 12,049]

Surely you can enter, but not drink?

Depends on who owns the pub. Some are anal about it, but some are more relaxed.

[capriccioso 2,545]

Depends on who owns the pub. Some are anal about it, but some are more relaxed.

Surely you can enter, but not drink?

Not in Sydney, they have bouncers out front that check your ID. Unless you go down to some quiet suburban pub, even then I'm pretty sure they'll check your ID if you're just sitting there not ordering anything/when you order.

[We Hate Scouse 10,261]

Bit strict, you can enter until 9pm here under 18. Do they not serve food and stuff in pubs there then?

[Spike 12,049]

Bit strict, you can enter until 9pm here under 18. Do they not serve food and stuff in pubs there then?

Yeah, they do. They let kids in but get suspicious around teenagers. Usually there is a dining area for families etc.

Here is a rough sketch of what one of the pubs in my town looks like:

[capriccioso 2,545]

Yeah, I've seen parents bring in their children. As Spike said its the teenagers that the bouncers get all itchy over.

[capriccioso 2,545]

No it wasn't. I'll not have insults given out about an icon of Australian history!

The term swag developed from 'swagman', an itinerant wanderer in rural Australia in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Swagmen were basically handymen in the bush, they could perform a wide variety of farm and farming related tasks (most famously, herding livestock on horseback and shearing) and were paid in return. They would spend their money immediately on payday on a massive orgy of drunkenness and debauchery. What little money they had left the morning after was spent on more alcohol, which they carried in their 'swags' (shoulder bags) to tide them over until they made it to their next place of work. Less stereotypical swagmen carried supplies and bedding in their swags, but they are no fun and weren't immortalised in poetry by Banjo Patterson, so their voices in the historical narrative are irrelevant

[Spike 12,049]

No it wasn't. I'll not have insults given out about an icon of Australian history!

The term swag developed from 'swagman', an itinerant wanderer in rural Australia in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Swagmen were basically handymen in the bush, they could perform a wide variety of farm and farming related tasks (most famously, herding livestock on horseback and shearing) and were paid in return. They would spend their money immediately on payday on a massive orgy of drunkenness and debauchery. What little money they had left the morning after was spent on more alcohol, which they carried in their 'swags' (shoulder bags) to tide them over until they made it to their next place of work. Less stereotypical swagmen carried supplies and bedding in their swags, but they are no fun and weren't immortalised in poetry by Banjo Patterson, so their voices in the historical narrative are irrelevant

A swag is something you sleep in. They roll up into bags like this:

FROM THE BUSH KNOWS THESE THINGS

[capriccioso 2,545]

A swag is something you sleep in. They roll up into bags like this:

FROM THE BUSH KNOWS THESE THINGS

I said that in the last line but dismissed it because Banjo Patterson didn't write songs about swagmen who carried beds around

[capriccioso 2,545]

@,

Irn-Bru is a Class A drug manufactured and sold in Scotland. In consists primarily of sugar, artificial flavouring, sugar, more artificial flavouring, sugar, a pinch of artificial flavouring, and sugar. It was designed by health experts in 1901 to get Scotsmen off their arses to do anything except drink.

A study released by John Perkins in 1992 determined that Irn-Bru is the leading cause of obesity in Scotland, greater even than influence from the far west or lack of physical activity. Perkins' study noted that since the introduction of Irn-Bru in 1901, obesity rates in Scotland have risen by 76 people.^[1] The Scottish Parliament refused to act on this information, since Perkins was English and therefore completely biased against them.

All young Scots suffer an indoctrination to Irn-Bru at the age of five (or thirteen for Scottish Jews). Their parents present them with a six-pack of heavy-dutyIrn-Bru and force them to drink it. This single event causes most children a life of addiction to everything pertaining to Irn-Bru.

These unfortunate people, called Bru addicts by everyone else, die young, and have a much harder time finding a girlfriend.^[2] (Experts have determined that this is the sole cause of Scotland's underpopulation problem.^[3]) They are also much more likely to develop addictions to other solely Scottish things, likebagpipes, kilts, and the water of life.

Several campaigns were launched against the production of Irn-Bru to stop the addicts from getting their daily dose, but nobody listened. On top of that, the leader of this movement, William Wallace, was revealed to have been a Bru addict himself.

Irn-Bru has been clinically proven to increase a Scotsman's likeliness to commit a number of felonies, among them thievery, murder, and rape, but usually all three. An overdose of Irn-Bru is a Scotsman's most common defense for these offences.

Due to the population's lack of desire to drink anything but Irn-Bru (non-alcoholic, anyway), all soft drink companies, including and not limited to the Coca Cola Company, have pulled out of Scotland. On the global market scale, this might not have that big of an impact... okay, so it has the economic potential of Timbuktu.