Drogba11CFC

It it was Gerrard, they'd be claiming she tied him to the bed the force-fed him Viagra.

TBH the Mail was a let down, it was the same, pushing Blair's Iraq lies to page 5.

Gerrard to Chelsea? I'd rather be forced to watch Batman & Robin and Tom & Jerry: The Movie.

Besides, I don't remember as much outcry when people did things far worse, like when Gerrard (who as we all know is perfect and shits out solid gold) beat up that DJ, or when Joey Barton was convicted of assault, or when Joel Schumacher released Batman & Robin.

Expected lineup (4-3-2-1): Cech A Cole Alex Terry Ivanovic Lampard Ballack Deco Malouda J Cole Anelka Prediction: Burnley 0-3 Chelsea

TBH I'm surprised the Sun hasn't given him devil horns and a toothbrush moustache...

Well when we strip it down to the basics, where a man chooses to put his penis is not really the general public's business. (Unless it's an illegal activity of course)

I don't give a fucking fuck what the players do in private, as long as they give 110% on the pitch.

That's what happens to clubs that try to ruin football.

Chelsea 2-0 Birmingham HT (Malouda 6, Lampard 32)

Chelsea 2-0 Birmingham (Malouda 6) GET IN LAMPS WOOOOOOHOOOOOO

Lamps shoots, Hart saves.

As it stands: 1. Chelsea Pld 22 51pts 2. Man Utd Pld 23 50pts 3. Arsenal Pld 23 49pts

Chelsea 1-0 Birmingham MALOUDAAA! YES!

No, but my (now local) team are playing at home.

And we're underway.

I predict a close win, maybe 1-0 or 2-0.

I'll be watching this in a pub...maybe after watching a Weesex Premier league game.

Here are some of mine: Possibly the 3-2 against Livscum in 08. Was listening to my radio and trying to decipher what was going on through the hissing and fizzing as the game went into extra time, when suddenly I heard, quite clearly "AND Chelsea HAVE BEEN AWARDED A PENALTY!" I then put my ear to the radio as Lamps sent Reina the wrong way and then Drogs made sure of the win two minutes later. Then again, there's the 3-3 draw against Tottenham in 07 and the subsequent replay. They were 3-1 up with 20 minutes to go and it looked all over for our cup hopes and run of home wins against them. Then with 15 minutes left Lamps halves the deficit to 2-3, with five minutes to go Kalou equalises, and in injury time we launch a counter-attack and Shevchenko hits the bar. Then in the replay, also on BBC, two wonder strikes from Shevchenko and Wright-Phillips send us through. But the winner is: Chelsea 4-4 Liverpool (Chelsea win 7-5 on aggregate) Knocking the bastards out for the second year running. And we won't have to face them this year!

Lineup (4-1-3-2): Cech Zhirkov Terry Alex Ferreira Belletti Deco Ballack Lampard Sturridge Anelka

Fouls and red cards all round! Maybe the ref should take 44 yellows, 44 reds and an electric card shuffler to the two sides' next encounter.

Chelsea 7-2 Sunderland FT (Anelka 8, 65, Malouda 17, A Cole 22, Lampard 34, 90, Ballack 52; Zenden 56, Bent 90+2)

Chelsea 7-1 Sunderland (Anelka 8, 65, Malouda 17 etc etc) GET IN LAMPS!

GOALFLASH: Wolves 0-2 Wigan (N'Zogbia 73)