Aesthetic Relic

I'm trying my hardest to get my sister to let me buy my niece a Chelsea kit. She says she doesnt want her looking like a chav Congratulations Kez

I'm basically a clumsy fucker....I do stupid things all the time.

Oh......got another one. Not as good as my previous, but embaressing all the same. I used to work as a bus driver in Belfast. I was going back to work after my break, I made my way around the City Hall to my bus which was waiting for me. There was a large crowd waiting for me as it was about 5'ish and every fucker in Belfast was going home. Anyway....I pushed the button on the side to open the doors and put my hands in my pockets to find my module ( to make the ticket machine work) and as I stepped insdie the doors my foot caught the lip on the bottom of the doors and I started to fall forwards. I tried to get my hands out of my pockets in time to stop me falling but couldnt. So I turned my face sideways so that I wouldnt break my nose when I hit the deck. Crash, bang, whallop....I'm on the floor amd all I can hear is people pissing themselves laughing. Not one fucker came over and asked was I ok. I picked myself up and took as long as I possibly could to set up before letting people on. Smirking as they handed me money...still no "are you ok driver"....bastards. Needless to say it was their slowest journey home ever.

I was a decent swimmer myself. I used to train with a swimming club several nights a week and then go on my own to do extra training. I'm not so aerodynamic anymore

Fair enough....as I said, I was under the influence of drink and drugs. Thats my excuse anyway

Welcome to the forum mate :thumbsup:

Nah...I kicked them off and left them in the shower. My mum found them in the morning along with some lovely footprints across the new carpet Elliot - It wasnt desperation, I sort of liked her, I dunno why I even done it tbh, just seemed a good idea at the time....Oh.....and it wasnt like I was tucking in with a spoon, it was just the odd bit as it wasnt like nrmal sick, it was slightly watered down due to her alcohol consumption.

Surprisingly no.......considering it was her vomit Drink and drugs....Just say no :thumbsup:

Once in a drunken state...... Had a shit with my boxers still on.......and I also ate some vomit, again in a drunken state whilst trying to impress some girl. I tend to stay away from the alcohol now

Now they'll have Rooney unavailable for a few games as he's picked up some virus in Nigeria..... Probably due to some granny fucking

Setanta

Defo....I was a bit concerned that his form was a bit over hyped due to the calibre of teams we were up against before the Milan game. But he really looked good yesterday and set up Anelka with 2 inch perfect crosses to score. Hopefully we'll see him continue to blossom under Scolari.

Just looking at that formation is getting me all giddy Its got goals written all over it.....Cant fecking wait to get started now The strength in depth we have this season is superb. So many options and a manger who knows what he's doing

A bit more width would do no harm. I've no confidence in SWP at all.

My eyebrows

Aesthetic Relic ( Celtic are shite ) is my alias on other forums......Just not fitting for an all Chelsea forum

Sheva's still a bit to go before he's match fit. We'll probably go 4-3-3 and concentrate on Anelka :thumbsup:

All this crap about us buying the league and whatever has run its course. Manure have been spending shed loads of money for years and they didnt get the same level of scrutiny we have. Liverpool, Man City, Spurs and now possibly Newcastle will be following in our footsteps at trying to break to dominace of Manure and the Arse of the Premiership. We already had a decent side before Abramovich came to SB. The few years we had before his arrival saw us lift quite a few trophies which backs that up. You need money to be consistently successful. They know it and would give their left bollock to be in the position we're in. They can put whatever spin on it they like, but in reality we know its envy. We've recently signed some of our most important players on long term contracts. Cech, Essien, Carvalho, Bridge and Lampard and Drogba are "due" to sign extended deals. Add JT, Ferreira, Bosingwa, Alex, Ash, Anelka, Kalou, Joe Cole, Deco and Ivanovic to the mix and you have a very good squad for the coming seasons. Ballack, Malouda, SWP and Shevchenko will only be around for another few years at best imo, so we only need a tweak here and there each season. So the money being lossed every season will gradually decrease. The emergence of Di Santo this season also shows we're moving in the right direction to finally bring on the talent the academy is producing. Scolari has said so himself, he wishes to bring the reserve team players who he feels are capable of holding their own into the first team. If the day comes when RA decides he's had enough, then hopefully by that time we'll be in the position to look after ourselves. But I'm sure if he does go that somone will come in who'll maybe not be as generous with his cash as RA was, but will help us on the steady route to long term success we are aiming for :thumbsup:

Just dont hit me on the head ....you'll wreck my hair.

I would say Deco, Lampard and Essien. Ballacks still a bit to go before he gets to full match fitness and Mikel will have to sit this one out if we go 4-3-3 imo. What about the RB slot?. Ivanovic or Ferreira ?

I thought Kalou will miss the first 2 weeks of the season also ? Before this could have been a problem, but Anelka's on fire atm and the rest of the team are looking very impressive.

Welcome JC.....So you finally found the Holy Grail of football forums Enjoy

Happy Birthday young lady

Not bad for a bunch of pensioners