capriccioso

No, I don't think so. The biggest crowd he's faced were 60,000 at Emirates yesterday and that stadium has all the atmosphere of a funeral. Put him in front of 90,000 Cules in a high pressure match and he'll take a while to get used to it, a while we can't afford. Not to mention he'll be targeted by the players and the fans because of his inexperience.

I was talking about deploying Kalou as a purely defensive player, to do nothing but chase and tackle and when he does get the ball, lay it off to a better player or dribble it as far as possible. Mata's a bit too good for that. Mata can start, if, say we get to the 80th minute at 0-0 we could sub him off for Kalou or a defender. If we're 1-0 up, get Mata off at the hour mark to save him up for the Newcastle game because Barcelona most likely won't score 3 in half an hour.

Hey UC, I have to thank you for your idea! It was great I'll try and stay sober enough to get home in time for the match.

Keep Mata fresh for games where we will need his attacking ability. Kalou to track back. Mata is too good a player for us to waste his energy by getting him to do nothing but run around.

I reckon we should give him a player/coach deal. He's still useful on the pitch for a year or two, then we can give him a permanent coaching position.

To what end? We're not looking to attack. This is about sending out the most defensive side possible, right? Also Mata can't create much when we have 25% possession... Alternatively to Bosingwa, we could try Bertrand on the left wing. But Bertrand would never have played in an occasion like this, in front of 90,000 passionate Barcelona fans. I think he'd be a bit rabbit-in-the-headlights.

I could design a kit, but a logo is beyond me

Cech Ivanovic-Cahill-Terry-Cole Mikel-Lampard Ramires-Kalou-Bosingwa Drogba. That'll do them. Bosingwa to be used like how Chivu was by Inter in 2010.

Quite a bump there, Strike

Jim

I never, ever thought I'd say this but QPR

Mate you're off your chops. Lay off the ganja.

He would absolutely batter you. 186 cm and 80 kilos, and he's a pro footballer. And ask an Ivorian if he's a poor player, they'll point at AFCON 2012 and tell you he's definitely good enough.

I did Kalou? Confidence? When he's hated by 95% of the Stamford Bridge crowd? Forget it. He needs 12 hours alone with me and other Kalou fans, and perhaps a sports psychologist to build up his confidence. He is a vital player for us given the quality of our squad. We're not the Galacticos, we can't replace world class with world class from the bench. 60 goals and 40 assists in 6 years for a 9 million pound winger is a very good return, he has to go down as one of the better signings of the Roman era.

I want him sold because he's past it physically. He's so slow these days compared to his peak, and his pace will only regress from here.

20 posts to go, then. Must get there before Wednesday.

He either accepts he's rubbish and doesn't demand 120k a week or we program the route to Etihad Stadium on his GPS. He can go be a drain on resources there. People say Balotelli is an enfant terrible but his attitude is miles better than this guys.

When the game is that terrible, you can't expect the fans to make noise. They've all fallen asleep.

Haha, I must beat BlueLion to it which is why I'm posting crazy numbers

Race you to 30k! Fair enough, though I doubt QPR can do anything. Famous last words, perhaps.

We're done. Bye bye fourth place. Send out 2nd string teams for all remaining league matches. 5th is the best we'll do, IMO. We'll just have to win in Munich.

Unless your name is Dejan Stankovic that shot will go in once in 100,000 times. At best.

Much, much better doing that than trying a volley from 45 yards out.

Sturridge. Really? Who do you fucking think you are, Dejan Stankovic?

Enough said.