manpe

Torres might remind him of Nick Carter from Backstreet Boys time.

I can't remember 10 goals, but the ones I can: * Torres vs Newcastle * Cahill vs Tottenham * Cahill vs Nordsjaelland * Luiz FK vs Nordsjaelland * Mata FK vs Man Utd * Mata vs Spurs (the one from Haz assist, don't remember if he scored any more) * Oscar vs Pirlo * Oscar vs Shakhtar

Looks like Ash forgot to turn on macro focus on top left picture. I wonder how Didi knew their fingure measurements Don't mind me, I just ponder over stupid stuff like that.

Does he himself write them? His written English is surprisingly good, I mean he even spelled the horror word "there" correctly... twice!

He can go, not that I want him to, but it would be selfish to want him to murder his career here. The thing is he can go anywhere BUT liverpool... all ties with this shithole of a club need to be cut. One thing is giving them a declined Joe Cole, other thing is to give them an up and coming striker. We already dished them Johnson and he's turned out better than expected, although granted, he would have never made it here. Liverpool would be a good choice for Danny, but bad choice for us. How pathetic would it be if they robbed us 50 million and in return 2 years later we gave them a striker who will prove successful and most likely develop a scoring habit against us? Fuck liverpool.

And on top of that we would be out of options and would be forced to offer Benitez a permanent deal Wow, the thought of such scenario gets me all wet and tingly.

It could be he gets a wage cut if the extended contract rumour is true. Tbh I'll leave the financial matters to the professionals, I will just be glad to have him around in any role.

there

I didn't actually ask him, it was all a hoax

Yeah sorry. I tend to search reasons to pick on people when I'm in shit mood.

Henrique was clearly joking. Fucking hell have people lost their sense of humour? The McCartney/Lennon "quote" was a blatant give away and if you didn't see that, then you ain't the sharpest tool either.

I dislike those people more saying they hate Torres more because he didn't show up, without knowing all the facts. That is one of the great problems of people - coming to premature conclusions without knowing any facts. That's called prejudice and those same people probably preach against it whenever they can, hypocrites. If he decided to spend time with his family and son, then fair play to him, family always comes first.

I would wish him all sorts of things, but he doesn't read this thread, so I'm not going to.

I don't think he meant that he plays like Torres in the EPL. I think he meant that against a crap side he performed better, like everybody else in the team tbf. It wasn't the kind of game where you can evaluate players tbh, the opposing team had nothing to win or lose, their spirits were broken the moment they flopped their penalty and we scored ours. They weren't even trying. If the team, including Hazard, hadn't performed well, my spidey sense would have been tingling.

His name puts me off... Fernandinho. But he looks quality, wouldn't mind him here.

It's the kind of penalty when it goes in, everybody says "brilliant", "intelligent", "cool", "confident". But when it gets saved everybody goes "stupid", "unconvincing" etc. The Panenka penalty is the same, if you score you look badass, if you flop it you look like a donkey. The Panenka (or Pirlo penalty, call it what you want) is actually nothing special, you just place the ball in the middle when you know that there is a 90% chance that the keeper will dive either side. I prefer Lampard's method of smashing the roof off when he's hitting in the middle, less chance of cocking it up. I actually think hitting it in the middle is a bit cowardly, but necessary when you need the highest chance to score (exactly what Lamps does). But that's going off topic now.

That's how he does it, he scores before transfer windows to ensure he doesn't leave. Against West Ham before summer, against Barca last year, in August when the window was still open, and now. It's a diabolic scheme. He does score when he wants. It's like me in high school, I made a real effort only before exams when I was in danger of being kicked out.

Did he? I don't recall it. Any video or gif of it?

Yeah, he was everywhere once in midfield. It was like a kid in Disneyland - wanting to go everywhere, running amok from all the excitement It was only after his unnecessary yellow when he calmed down. You could tell he liked it, Brazilians find playing in defence boring.

He could have so easily had a hattrick yesterday, it was basically delivered to him by FedEx. He's lucky his last clear cut chance was in a meaningless game at 6-1, otherwise we'd all be fuming.

So it seems this blockbuster of a game has come to a dramatic conclusion - Ferreira has made an appearance this season. Thanks to everyone for participating. I'm sorry this is over for it was such a fruitful source of fun, but God's will has come to life. I proudly present to you the winner - MANPE. Well done lad, you're the wittiest most talented most handsome guy on here.

THAT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY MY HEAD EXPLODED! naah seriously, you can do better son

We would get murdered by playing our youths/reserves. Remember, teams like Atletico play in that competition, they don't take it lightly and they already raped our strongest team. We will have to be at our best to win this competition.

Too bad this game ended up counting for nothing

Of course he scored tonight, it was a training match after all