Spike

What's that bullshit? Australians are more self depracating than Canadians. 90% of our humour is self deprecation. The Napoleon Complex part is very true though.

The only notable person I can think of that chose another country over Australia is Christian Vieri. But it's understandable for him as he moved here when he was 6 and moved back to Italy as 16/17 year old. And most of our players could have played for another nation.

@TorontoChelsea, why did Owen Hargreaves choose England over Canada and Wales? It's not like England is more likely to win the WC than the other two.

It would be 5% Marco and 95% De Gea then.

Could you live with knowing even though you see that, it's still a bloke?

When browsing the internet do you ever pause just for a brief moment and think to yourself: "how the fuck did I get linked to this website"? It's truly one of life's enigmas.

Is it you?

I'm confident that this match will end in a win, loss or draw.

Do you really think so? My nose is way too big.

I geuss I see the resemblance in this photo... to the bloke on the left of course...

I'm confident.

I can see the resemblance in that guy, not what those other jokers posted.

What's the age in England? I thought he was only 17...

I knew he was a prick he kicked the fuck out of that sound mic after scoring against Man Utd. It just gave me the impression he thinks he can do what he wants.

Wrong. Kaká still has class and puts 100% into every match. A model professional and human being. You be justified in your respect and adoration for Kaká.

Seems fitting....a few babies...a few assualt charges....not even old enough to order a pint... http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/raheem-sterling-liverpool-fc-star-1568685

YOU'RE ONLY SEEING WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE

Who the fuck is that!? I look nothing like him! LEAVE ME ALONE

I cant tell if you're screwing with me. I look nothing like de Gea.

SOMEONE READ MY ARTICLE. IT'S KILLING ME.

Something is wrong at Chelsea; something internal. Is it intrinsic or has it metamorphosed into this aberration? It’s not Roman Abramovich, how can it be? Even if it is, how can we as ‘mere’ supporters question this? He doesn’t give interviews to the public media; he doesn’t reveal his intentions through the club’s website or any other official club media, he stays safe behind a wall of silence. How can we even be sure that Roman wants this so called ‘sexy football’ or the ‘tiki-taka’ style? Because the tabloids and weekly rags tell us so? How do they know? They don’t. They have an inside source? Probably doesn’t exist. The only things we know about Roman is that he sits high in his skybox, scowling with furious disappointment or clap with an almost childlike enthusiasm. From his throne he throws money at the club for everything, infrastructure, wages, transfers, he probably doesn’t care how much money is needed, he is valued at over £12 billion. What else is he going to spend all that money on? A bigger yacht? I’m certain that as long as the money exists and he breathes, Roman will continue pumping money and time into Chelsea. He will not leave. I also doubt his benefactor will either, Arkady Abramovich, is just as invested into Chelsea as his father Roman. The owner is not the disease, but he is very may well be the genesis – the instigator to all the woes at CFC. Whether intentional or not, Roman should not shoulder the blame for the club’s current predicament. He is a supporter like all of us and just wants what’s best for the club, save for one crucial difference. His mandate is divine, ours is voiceless. Is the disease our much maligned centre forward Fernando Torres #9? No, El Niño is not to blame. However, he is merely a symptom of the disease, much like how jaundice is a symptom of scurvy. The blond goal assassin is not a Chelsea fan. Fernando is a Torres fan. All he wants is personal glory, medals, a legacy. Chelsea is his means to an end, or so he thought. It’s a paycheck and an opportunity to fill his trophy case. Can you blame him for not caring about Chelsea? I don’t. He is an Atletico Madrid kid through and through. I do blame him for not putting 100% into games, its one thing to not care about the club; it’s another thing entirely to meander around a pitch for 90 minutes. It’s your damn job Torres. At any other job in the real world you’d be fired a dozen times by now. I can just see the flaxen haired warrior working at McDonalds and being fired during the first day. His excuse would be because he doesn’t like the hair nets messing up his golden locks. Grow up Fernando, get a haircut (too late!) and get a real job. The club’s biggest task is offloading this clown to whoever will take him. The sooner the better, jaundice is a very ugly symptom. Everything I’ve said about Torres and be applied to Rafa Benitez - doesn’t care, a means to an end etc. If Torres is the jaundice of scurvy, Rafa is the lethargy and malaise. This reflects the team’s performances oddly enough, shameful performances. The sum of the squad’s talent is less than it’s parts under Rafa. It’s hard to amp up for a game if the manager is too busy stuffing himself with gambas ajillo and paella, dis ish eh fakt. Bugger off, hypocrite. Don’t forget to wave a plastic Liverpool flag on the walk out. Is the board the disease? As far as I’m concerned they are. They are the ones that sanction transfers; they are the men with Roman’s delegated power. They are the fuck ups. How is a board of directors replaced? I have no idea. Who will they be replaced with? Again I have no idea, it’s not as easy as a swallowing a few Vitamin C pills. Buck, Gourlay, Emanalo, Tenenbaum; they seem to be the card holders at Chelsea. Everything stems from them. I’ve nothing to prove this and I may seem hypocritical due to my lambasting of those who criticise Roman without any proof but I know for a fact these are the men that run the club day to day. It’s even come to my attention that a lot of the higher ups are Tottenham supporters…this shouldn’t make a difference in the professional working world, but the football world seems to play it fast and loose with the meaning of the word ‘professional’. Maybe people like Le Saux and Zola, those that understand the internal machinations of modern football would be suited to the board of directors than those that are so distant from the real world. A manager (Jose Mourinho) with total legislative power much like Red Nose at Manure would be nice also… But then again what do I know? I’m ‘merely’ a supporter.

Whenever I post walls of text they show up like this:

That's sickening. Ugh.

I am relaxed. I wasn't being hostile or anything, that's just me style is all.

What in the actual fuck? Ginola? Lineker? What the balls are they doing at this club?