Vesper

jinxed the fuck out of that, that was a crazy good long bomb pass

ffs, what a shitshow

Johnstone would be a great backup keeper

our passing has been the worst of any Tuchel game the international break so fucked our momentum

crazy game so far

shit pass on the counter

2020-21 English Premier League Chelsea West Bromwich Albion http://www.sportnews.to/mysports/2021/premier-league-Chelsea-vs-west-bromwich-albion-s1/ https://www.totalsportek.com/page-3/

we do not like cannibals 🤣

Friday April 2 2021 Football Nerd How Everton's misfiring attack could see them miss out on Europe By Daniel Zeqiri Ask Everton fans what Carlo Ancelotti has brought to the club and their answer is likely to include several intangibles: prestige, a winning mentality or added confidence in the biggest matches. In short, necessary rather than sufficient qualities. A closer look at Everton's numbers and football suggests they are still a long way from being serious Champions League contenders. They have won just four league games at Goodison Park all season. They are averaging just 9.8 shots-per-game, their second lowest total in a Premier League season since records began in 1997-98. Their defensive statistics are not particularly impressive: in the bottom half for shots conceded, shots on target conceded and xG conceded. In this week's Football Nerd, I take a closer look at Everton's season and ask if they are really heading in the right direction. How Everton's paltry attacking output could see them miss out on Europe Football Nerd: Everton fans love having Carlo Ancelotti as their manager but are they really going in the right direction? https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2021/04/02/evertons-paltry-attacking-output-could-see-miss-europe Everton fans are positively smitten with Carlo Ancelotti: he has given them their first league win at Liverpool for 22 years, a season-long challenge for the European places and a general sense of progression with a new stadium at Bramley-Moore Dock on the horizon. A closer look at their football however, reveals Everton are a long way from being considered serious Champions League candidates. After a home match against Crystal Palace and a trip to Brighton they face Tottenham, Arsenal, Aston Villa and West Ham in successive Premier League games. They could be in an uphill battle to finish in the top eight, which would be a disappointing conclusion to a promising season. The first problem Everton need to address is their home form. They are fourth in the away table with nine wins from 14 games, but 15th in the home equivalent with just five wins in 14 at Goodison Park. Ancelotti's team have lost home fixtures against Fulham, Newcastle and Burnley. This poor record reflects the fact Everton struggle to put teams under sustained pressure. Everton are averaging just 9.8 shots-per-game, their second lowest total in a Premier League season since records began in 1997-98. Only Burnley, Crystal Palace, Sheffield United and West Brom take fewer shots per game. Everton fare slightly better when it comes to expected goals, testament to Dominic Calvert-Lewin's talent for getting high-quality chances in the six-yard box, but their output is still pretty mediocre. Their average of 1.22 xG per game puts them 12th in the rankings, behind West Ham, Leeds, Brighton, Aston Villa, Tottenham and Arsenal. They have relied on the efficiency of Calvert-Lewin and Richarlison to score 40 league goals from a season-long xG tally of 34.14. Everton's shot conversion rate is 14.7 per cent, their highest in a Premier League season since 1997-98. Is that sustainable? Their defensive statistics are not particularly impressive, in the bottom half for shots conceded, shots on target conceded and xG conceded. Big name appointments give fans comfort, but are Everton really going anywhere? There are certainly positives. Ben Godfrey has proved an excellent purchase at the back, precisely the kind of young talent Everton should be targeting, and they have one of the best strike partnerships around in Richarlison and Calvert-Lewin who are the right age at 23 and 24. The concern is Everton went big on Allan, James Rodriguez and Abdoulaye Doucoure last summer - 30, 29 and 28 respectively - yet central midfield still looks an area lacking intensity out of possession and quality on the ball. Ancelotti is not a great builder of teams and clubs; his best work has been fine-tuning squads filled with elite players. Everton fans love having the Italian as their manager, but whether he is exactly what they need remains an unanswered question.

Could Malang Sarr come back to haunt Chelsea before he has even played for them? https://theathletic.com/2491351/2021/04/02/could-malang-sarr-come-back-to-haunt-Chelsea-before-he-has-even-played-for-them/ Chelsea’s first Champions League knockout stage victory since 2014 has brought about another situation with echoes of seven years ago: just as with Thibaut Courtois when he’d been borrowed by Atletico Madrid, there is nothing to prevent loanee Malang Sarr playing for Porto against his parent club in either leg of the quarter-final tie between the teams later this month. Unlike the Courtois situation, Chelsea are not inclined to kick up a stink this time; in fact, some at the club could be forgiven for hoping Sarr gets the experience, while many fans would welcome a closer look at a 22-year-old who has intrigued them since signing on a free transfer from Nice last summer. Porto have not yet done for Sarr what Atletico almost immediately did for Courtois. He arrived late in the club’s pre-season preparations, slotting in behind the 38-year-old Pepe and former Newcastle defender Chancel Mbemba in coach Sergio Conceicao’s centre-back pecking order, and has been unable to force his way through to become a regular. Six of his 19 appearances came in a streak of starts throughout November and early December, punctuated by his most impressive display of the campaign in a goalless draw at home to Manchester City in the group stage. More recently, he played his part in Porto’s shock win over Juventus in the round of 16, coming on with just over an hour on the clock in the second leg in Turin and mucking in as his 10-man team kept the Italian giants at bay. But there have also been lowlights — most notably presenting the ball to former Chelsea man Lucas Piazon with a poor attempted clearance in the lead-up to Braga’s second goal in a 3-2 defeat in the Portuguese Cup. That error led to a reprimand from Conceicao and, perhaps not coincidentally, Diogo Leite has recently displaced him as the coach’s preferred back-up to Pepe and Mbemba. But few who tracked Sarr’s rise to prominence in France would write off his chances of helping Porto hurt Chelsea in Seville, or of proving himself capable of one day shining at Stamford Bridge. His story indicates a young footballer with ambition and intelligence to match his considerable talent, coupled with the willingness to make hard decisions to further his career. Wearing a Baltimore Ravens NFL jersey emblazoned with their star quarterback Lamar Jackson’s name and number and drenched in the Nice sunshine, Sarr’s facial expression veered from pride and joy to sadness as he delivered an emotional goodbye to his boyhood club. “Football’s done a lot for me,” he said in a four-minute farewell video posted on the club’s social media channels. “I’ve realised a dream by playing for Nice, been able to buy a house for my family, something I’m most proud about. I always wanted to play here. My dad was a supporter and would go to games in the stadium. “I joined the club at six and played in the youth teams, in the academy. I knew all the coaches, everyone around the club. I saw the changes in the club, the growth, the transformation. I watched it grow from the inside. I was upset when I found out the season had been cancelled (the 2019-20 Ligue 1 campaign did not restart after lockdown last spring) and I couldn’t say goodbye. “This is my club. The club where I began it all. The club where I lived. My hometown club. It’ll always be a club in my heart. One chapter has closed, but another is opening.” Sarr had plenty of opportunities to remain at Nice. Former president Gauthier Ganaye made several offers to extend the defender’s contract up until the summer of 2019, when reports of a takeover by INEOS — the company headed by one-time Chelsea suitor Sir Jim Ratcliffe — began to circulate. The ownership uncertainty did nothing to convince Sarr that Nice could match his ambitions, while Borussia Monchengladbach and RB Leipzig were two of the clubs in Germany who signalled their interest in him. “I did not feel like the club could allow me to continue to grow as a footballer, so I had to look elsewhere,” he said. “What was brought to me was not at the level that I wanted to achieve. I never felt the former owners or board had the same desire or ambition as me. We weren’t on the same wavelength.” INEOS did not formally assume control until the final days of the summer transfer window. Sarr, who had made enthusiastic noises about learning German and testing himself in the Bundesliga, did not get his move there. Nor did he show any fresh interest in extending a contract which only had a year left to run. Ratcliffe had brought more money to the club, but ambition off the pitch had only ever been part of the thought process steering Sarr away from Nice. The conditions that were to eventually lead to his departure existed almost from the moment he made his senior debut for Nice, aged 17, at home to Rennes on the opening day of the 2016-17 Ligue 1 season. With no name on the back of his shirt, as he was yet to sign professional terms, Sarr scored the only goal of the game — a back-post header from a Jean Michael Seri free kick — before paying tribute to the victims of the terror attack on Nice’s Promenade des Anglais on Bastille Day a month earlier. He had started the match in his preferred position as the left-sided centre-back alongside Paul Baysse, a journeyman Ligue 1 defender. But nine days later Nice signed Dante from Wolfsburg on a free transfer. The Brazil international and Champions League winner, also a left-sided centre-back, quickly became the rock on which coach Lucien Favre built his defence. Sarr signed a four-year professional deal with Nice in the November but despite feeling strongly that his long-term development would be best served with regular minutes as the left-sided centre-back, he was often deployed at left-back to accommodate Dante, who established himself as a team leader and was later named club captain. That remained the case when Patrick Vieira replaced Favre as coach in the summer of 2018. Many of his best performances for both coaches came on the left of a back three, with Dante central. Along the way, Sarr was already planning for a future outside of France, throwing himself into learning English by watching US sports — he is known to be a huge basketball fan — and TV shows without dubbing or subtitles. By the time Nice signed Kasper Dolberg from Ajax in the summer of 2019 he was fluent and able to take the Dane under his wing, providing friendly support when he was robbed in the city, contracted COVID-19 and struggled with injuries. Sarr’s decision to run down his contract was far from painless. Nice were furious at the prospect of losing a valuable young asset for nothing and he made just 19 appearances in Ligue 1 in 2019-20, his first-team minutes more than halved from the previous campaign — a situation not helped by the early curtailment of the French football season. Widely considered a wasted year of development, it did at least buy him control of his career destiny; Torino, Real Betis and Sampdoria all made formal approaches, while Monaco and Fulham made their interest known. Saint-Etienne also looked at him as a potential replacement for Leicester City-bound Wesley Fofana, but Chelsea’s offer carried the day. The visit of Manchester City to Estadio do Dragao in December represented a double audition for Sarr: to impress Conceicao, but also Chelsea’s loan technical department. His contribution to Porto’s creditable clean sheet highlighted many of the attributes that first marked him out as a worthwhile development project, while also offering several reminders of the strides he is yet to make in his game. Here, in the first three minutes, Sarr is marking Bernardo Silva as Raheem Sterling probes on the right flank: Sterling darts infield but Sarr leaves Silva and steps up to clear the ball out to the left, where Oleksandr Zinchenko gathers it up. When Zinchenko clips in his cross, Sarr has recovered his position in the heart of the Porto defence and heads it clear. A few minutes later his aggressive instincts almost work against him. He steps out of Porto’s defensive line to confront a surging Sterling, which creates a pocket of space behind him… …Sterling offloads the ball to Silva and races into the gap Sarr left, working himself into a crossing position. Anticipating the last-ditch sliding tackle from Sarr he tries to chop the ball behind him and draw a foul in the penalty area, but the Frenchman manages to clear the ball with his trailing leg and it goes out of play for a corner. Sarr’s mobility is one of his most valuable assets at centre-back, and he puts it to good use later in the first half to track Sterling’s run as Phil Foden sizes up a through ball… …which he is able to intercept and clear in one motion: Sterling’s movement gave Porto problems throughout the match and he steals several yards on Sarr here, timing his run perfectly to break the offside trap and latch onto a floated Fernandinho pass… …but on this occasion, Sarr recovers to poke out a leg and lift the ball over his own crossbar before Sterling can shoot: Early in the second half, Sarr’s eagerness to commit himself in a one vs one situation against Ferran Torres almost costs Porto dearly. It begins with a race for the ball towards the byline… …Torres manages to lose Sarr with one sharp turn and create several yards of space for a cross on his left foot, but he isn’t done… …and so jinks again, using the momentum of Sarr’s recovery lunge against him to work a better opening on his stronger right foot. Fortunately for Porto, his cross is poor and Leite is able to clear it at the near post: Sarr’s most anxious moment was just prior to the hour mark. The sequence begins with him in a good position to react to Sterling’s run and deny him an easy route to connect to the searching diagonal pass Foden is preparing to hit: As the ball arcs around the back of the Porto defence, he appears in a good position to block Sterling and get to it first… …but instead he allows Sterling to wriggle past him, take the ball in stride and work himself into a one-on-one shooting chance. It should be a goal, but Agustin Marchesin manages to do just enough to block the shot and then smother the rebound: A few minutes later, Sarr goes some way towards redeeming himself, standing tall to block a hard, goal-bound shot from Silva after the ball drops to the City midfielder in the penalty area: Porto were reasonably good value for their clean sheet and Sarr was a significant contributor to that success — even if his lapses hinted at why Conceicao did not hesitate to restore his preferred centre-back pairing when Pepe had returned to full fitness. “The loan was part of the plan (Chelsea) outlined to me when I signed,” Sarr said in an interview with French newspaper L’Equipe last month. “I had to be honest with myself: my last season at Nice finished in March (when the league was curtailed), so I was never going to impose myself straight away at Chelsea. This was a perfect solution to the issue as I wanted to have a season at a big club like Porto under my belt so that I’d be better placed to make an impression and do well at a club like Chelsea later on.” That plan was echoed by Chelsea director Marina Granovskaia when the signing of Sarr was officially announced last August. “The opportunity to sign Malang was one we could not miss,” she told the club’s official website. “He is a tremendous prospect and we will be monitoring him closely during his loan period, hoping he will soon be back at Chelsea.” Just how soon that will be is still an open question. Chelsea face plenty of contract decisions about the defenders currently in Thomas Tuchel’s first-team squad in the coming months, and the long-term security offered by Sarr — he signed a five-year contract last summer — could provide a welcome element of squad certainty, even if it is hard to envision him immediately walking into a defence that has conceded two goals in the last two months. One thing beyond doubt is that Chelsea believe in the same potential that made Nice so annoyed to be losing Sarr last summer. They will just be hoping he fulfils it to their long-term benefit, rather than their short-term cost over the two legs in Seville.

he was in a back 3 and Ginter and Can were shambolic

Chelsea Foundation's report 2019/20 Chelsea FOUNDATION ANNUAL REPORT PUBLISHED The Chelsea Foundation’s annual report for the 2019/20 season is now available to view online. The Blues have one of world sport’s most comprehensive community programmes, all delivered by the Chelsea Foundation, and the new report details all the good work the club’s own charity conducted last season. The Chelsea Foundation uses the power of football to motivate, educate, inspire, and to support communities and individuals both at home and around the world. From our charitable and community activities, to our anti-discrimination projects and continued support for former players, the Chelsea Foundation is one of the world’s leading football social responsibility programmes. On top of our outstanding football development programmes, the Foundation works on a broad range of initiatives focusing on education, employment, social deprivation, crime reduction and much more. The Foundation’s ongoing work in the community continued as the world faced unprecedented times due to Covid-19. During the global pandemic, the Chelsea Foundation have been at the forefront of delivery during lockdown, developing a range of innovative programmes to provide education, activities, and wellbeing during these challenging times. You can learn more about the club’s full Covid response here As we continue to help those most in need, the Foundation has called on fans to help support our wider communities and increase the number of people helped. You can donate to the Chelsea Foundation programme here You can now view and download our 2019/20 annual report, as well as previous reports covering all of our corporate social responsibility initiatives since 2005, by visiting the Foundation Annual Reports section. https://www.chelseafc.com/en/foundation/annual-report

Jogi Löw's stock falling further than an Oxo cube dropped from space Oh Timo! Photograph: Ina Fassbender/AFP/Getty Images Barry Glendenning @bglendenning JOGI AND A BOO-BOO When Jogi Löw announced three weeks ago that he would stepping down as Germany coach after this summer’s European Championships, few in his homeland shed too many salty tears. Despite masterminding their fourth World Cup victory and steering them towards the business end of other tournaments, the once-revolutionary 61-year old’s stock has plummeted further than an Oxo cube dropped from outer space – so much so that many of his compatriots would have been happy to bid him “auf wiedersehen” before this summer’s European jamboree even started. “I have great respect for Joachim Löw’s decision,” roared FA suit Fritz Keller last month, pointedly not mentioning that the German still had more than two years left on his contract. “It is thoroughly decent of him to inform us of his decision early; he has given us the necessary time and space to appoint a successor.” Herr Keller is likely to have woken up on Thursday morning with a great deal more respect for Löw’s decision, if not Löw himself, following Germany’s surprise home defeat at the hands of North Macedonia in their Human Rights World Cup qualifier. Euro 2020 power rankings: Belgium back on top as Germany plummet Read more Having put the ignominy of their November Nations League disgrace against Spain behind them with an emphatic victory over Iceland and a laboured win over Romania, Germany undid all their good work against a country that, since changing its name two years ago, only sounds like a fraction of its former self. “This is bitterly disappointing,” lamented Löw. “We were not fresh enough, we made mistakes. When we played quickly we were dangerous but we did not find the tools to be really threatening.” Among the tools Löw did have at his disposal was Timo Werner and the less-than-sharp striker was brought on to help rescue his nation from embarrassment as a substitute. With the North Macedonia goal gaping, he proceeded to go more viral than a Scottish rugby commentator’s Labradors with a miss so astonishingly bad that even an opposing defender was seen to throw his hands to his head in stunned disbelief as the ball trickled wide. “Most players from TV Dornholzhausen or SG Bissenberg would have looked better in that moment, even if they had a glass full of beer in their hand,” harrumphed Oliver Fritsch in Die Zeit, going so far as to compare the 25-year-old confidence vacuum to the German equivalent of a hungover Sunday League clogger. On the plus side for Timo, he may at least get the chance to put things some way right this weekend, when Chelsea host the top-flight Sunday League cloggers that are Big Sam’s West Brom. For Jögi, the future remains less clear but he remains in place for now. QUOTE OF THE DAY “We had a plan B and my staff were going to take charge of the game instead. It wouldn’t have made a big difference if I hadn’t made it” – Luis Enrique somewhat talks down his own import after almost missing Spain’s 3-1 win over Kosovo due to being trapped in a hotel lift for an hour before being rescued. Ferran Torres fires home Spain’s second goal. Photograph: Miguel Angel Morenatti/AP RECOMMENDED LISTENING Come get some Football Weekly Extra. FIVER LETTERS “Re: Tim Lynch’s ennui concerning the over-familiarity of some of The Fiver’s stylings (yesterday’s Fiver letters). Predictability is the very essence of a catchphrase – indeed that quality alone has proved sufficient to launch at least one notable (though, with hindsight, slightly problematic) career in comedy, the writing of children’s books and then proto-national treasure. The Fiver just wouldn’t be the same without them, just as – even though it’s a dreadful piece of ancient cheese – Saturday nights just wouldn’t be right without the raucous tootling of the Match of The Day theme” – Steve Allen. “Stephen Kenny is trying to modernise the way O’Ireland play, but now he’s discovering the hard way that there hasn’t been any real quality in the side since around 2002. I fear the same might happen if The Fiver takes Tim Lynch’s advice about updating its jokes” – Bernard O’Leary. “Reading Tim’s letter surprised me because he was reading The Fiver … and looking for ‘more creativity’. Any would be a start! I’m off to discuss creativity with Stephen Kenny over some Tin” – Bobbie Isabel Davis. “Got to love Tim pleading for a bit of creativity from The Fiver, only to be followed by a missive issued by Noble Francis” – Jim Hearson (and others). Send your letters to [email protected]. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Bernard O’Leary. NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Yeovil captain Lee Collins has died at the age of 32. “Lee sadly passed away yesterday and our thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends,” said the club. RIP Lee. Photograph: Harry Trump/Getty Images New research suggests home teams still retain a statistical advantage, even when games are played behind closed doors. “I was always convinced that me being at the games and supporting the team, at least changed something, sometimes,” sighed Prof Matthias Weigelt of Paderborn University. “But what can you do? It is science and the large data set of more than 40,000 games, [in] the study, cannot be ignored.” Erling Haaland’s Mr 20%, Mino Raiola, has held talks with Barcelona after meeting Dortmund earlier this week to discuss their asking price for the striker this summer. England manager Gareth Southgate is chuffed to bits that John Stones helped atone for his error in their 2-1 HRWC qualifying win over Poland. “The pleasing thing was John regained his composure quickly, recovered in the game and thankfully had an important part in the winning goal,” he cheered. Adrian ‘Aidy’ Boothroyd thinks England have some soul-searching to do after another premature booting from the U-21 Euros. “I’m confident I know what I’m doing for this job,” he honked. “We should look a bit closer at ourselves and examine where we can get better.” The Fiver thinks it knows where they could start. Former Bayern president Uli Hoeness wants Germany to pull its finger out over Covid vaccinations. “It’s a matter of fighting against a disease we haven’t experienced before and so we must stand together,” he tooted. Vaxx, yes. Taxx, er … And Sergio Ramos is a doubt for Real Madrid’s Big Cup tie against Liverpool due to calf-twang. That sound you may hear over the coming days is thousands of Big Cup preview pieces being shredded. STILL WANT MORE? The Euro 2020 power rankings are a curious thing. Make a one man weep (Jogi Löw), make another man sing (Bobby M). Pow, pow, power rankings! Composite: Reuters, Rex, EPA, Getty In the first of a new Women’s Super League series, Lydia Williams, the Arsenal and flamin’ Australia goalkeeper, says she’d “love to inspire the next generation of Indigenous athletes”. Roberto Baggio and Andrea Pirlo against Alessandro Del Piero and Zinedine Zidane: Juventus 1-1 Brescia in 2001. Emmet Gates remembers the Divine Ponytail’s greatest goal. The very much misunderstood Raheem Sterling was a lone attacking spark amid England’s sludge against Poland, writes Barney Ronay. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! ENJOY THE LONG BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND. BACK TUESDAY

Ginter and Emre Can were dogshit, and Rüdiger was hung out to dry far too often.

you are far more optimistic about Barca's CB's than I am (I would go fucking MENTAL if we had all of theirs and they had all of ours, I would seriously go full on rage mode) Eric Garcia NOT sold on him at all, he looked shaky for Citeh in the games I saw, he is short as well (all of their CB's are save for old man Pique and youngster Araújo, the weak Lenglet is borderline) Clément Lenglet so so overrated, hard pass atm Gerard Piqué rinsed, rapidly ageing out, Tiago Silva he is not Samuel Umtiti perma damaged goods at this point, barring a miracle turnaround Óscar Mingueza big meh, I have seen nothing special from him, put him on Real Betis and no one would even know his name Ronald Araújo the only one I would want, and he is still pretty inexperienced Frenkie de Jong he is the shortest of all (1.80m, and was listed at 1.79m before) and not strong for a CB (Azpi is strong as a bull for his small size), I cannot see him as any sort of CB answer

£35.2m is not that bad Clubs also pay agents for contract renewals, so they are also included in the number of transactions and total expenditure across the season The Blues paid agents for 69 transactions - including seven incomings and 23 outgoings

Eljif Elmas scored the goal, the AMF we were looking at (on Napoli)

lol North Macedonia just scored 1 2 up on Germany in Germany

slabhead scored 2 1

Werner missed an absolute sitter arrff

Padev scored off a well worked team goal

that saying is applied to 100 players plus a decade