Drogba11CFC

FT Chelsea 1-0 Middlesbrough

Shit, Wheater just hit the bar! Come on Chelsea! Avram FFS do not mess it up under any circumstances or else! Edit: Drogba off Alex on

Ballack OFF Wright-Phillips ON

1-0 Chelsea! Ricardo Carvalho 4:12

This is Blasphemy! This is Madness! *Waits for appropriate "300-esque" reply...*

Bolton 1-0 Arsenal...

If Gerrard's the Right man to lead England then Avram's better than ten Joses.

Who here thinks it's time to get Grant kicked out? Maybe we should slip his missus' favourite beverage into his apple juice.

Which is why, for the Arsenal game, he's probably gonna be fielding Anelka in goal and Ten Cate on the left wing.

Hmmm...as they're smaller than Liverpool, does this mean they'll be nicking Micro scooters and Tape recorders? The club's colours should either be Grey with arrows or dark brown.

Chelsea wrap up Jones swoop Chelsea have completed a £100 million deal to sign Kenwyn Jones. The Trididad annd Tobagan hitman has agreed a four-and-a-half year contract with Avram Grant's side. Grant said: "It's not a secret that I was looking for yet another striker and Jones has feet, is a footballer and has scored goals. "But he also passes and can play in a system and with other players beside him." He then added: "How do you spell "Win"?" Chelsea are currently with Didier Drogba and Salomon Kalou, as well as Nicolas Anelka and Claudio Pizarro. And Andriy Shevchenko has recovered from an ankle injury. Jones is set to make his debut against Tottenham at White Hart Lane tomorrow. Expected side: Pizarro; Lampard, Sinclair, Drogba, Ballack; Terry, Cech, Ben Haim, Ten Cate; Hilario, Jones. Source: The Daily Bullshit, 18th February 2008.

All the tax hikes are to pay for Gordon Brown's solid gold Caribbean Villa.

TBH, how do you really think Messi is going to get within a mile of Stamford Bridge and come away unscathed? Good win though.

Either someone we can beat... or anyone we can lose against without making it look as though it was on purpose to get rid of Grant.

I'm behind Grant too... ...as I push him over the edge of Beachy Head.

Apparently, he faces the axe if he doesn't win the CL. What I want to know is whether FIFA classifies losing on purpose to get rid of your manager as cheating.

Or: You don't know what you're doing... You don't know what you're doing... You don't know what you're doing... You don't know what you're doing... You don't know what you're doing...

He's gonna win the 2 girls 1 cup.

Newspaper headlines (Porobably not true, but...) The Sun: WE DECLARE A NATIONAL HOLIDAY (INSIDE: HOW POMPEY CHEATED) Daily Mail: FA CUP SHOCKS, HOUSE PRICES UP Mirror: Probably same as the Sun.

And Liverpool

GRANT OUT! GRANT OUT! NO EXCUSES, OUT OUT OUT!

Really? I'd do it myself. Buy up several adult magazines from a newsagent and send them to Mr. A. Grant.

Simple really...send Avram to Liverpool.

The Telegraph predicts this lineup: GK Cudicini LB Bridge CB Terry CB Carvalho RB Belletti LM Lampard CM Essien RM Ballack LW J Cole ST Anelka RW Wright-Phillips

I reckon he should serve 96 years and pay a fine of 1800 billion billion pounds.