Alan Partridge

People used to bang on about Josh mceachran, now playing for Brentford? People like to hype up young players so much you'd think they were their own child.

Are we running a charity for has been players that still want to earn a fortune? Shevchenko Falcao Torres Pato By the time Pato is fit the season will be pretty much over

Playing like a £10 million signing. Sort the attitude and effort out or fuck off. Dont have time for spoiled brats. I wouldn't mind if he was struggling but putting the effort on in the pitch. He needs to get his arse down the training ground early and stay late. Has the potential to be world class but he hasn't got there yet

This is so boring! A different story every day

Good starting 11 our bench is pretty weak though.

Apparently every manager in Europe and their uncle is a done deal to be Chelsea manager.

Re-sign Mata!

Won't be singing for Mourinho when he signs for United

Just play azpi RB and baba LB its not fucking difficult! Ivanovic is clearly shit

Can see him following Lampard legend hope to see him back one day

Shame Pato probably wasn't fit enough to play badge kissing means nothing to me Torres - Liverpool Suarez - Liverpool they both jumped ship

Crazy to think a few years back they were saying he was worth £40 million plus now he's here on a loan. Same goes for Falcao and Torres only we were dumb enough to pay for Torres. All 3 have had the worst decline in football I have seen. Andriano was another what the hell happened to him?

Would be happy with Conte especially if he can bring some good players with him

If Remy is sold surely we go for another striker? Costa and Pato wint be enough. Costa gets injured a fair amount and Pato could be shit

Vardy should stay put he obviously suits his current club and a good chance of him getting champions league football next season. He's been good but he's not good enough for what we need

We don't need to waste money on lavezzi we need this guy in our midfield especially if Ramires does leave. Matic has been gash mikel is mikel cesc is better playing further up the pitch and oscar is often shit.

He's always been after that United job. 6 page letter? That's pretty embarrassing on his part

Hmmmm if he can stay fit and find his old form it would be a decent quick fix. Although being injury free for a couple of years this league might be too harsh on him

Would be nice but more likely we'd sell Ramires and gundogan goes to Liverpool and we end up buying another has been like Kaka. This is is how our board works isn't it?

We are going to sign average bench warmers, I can see it coming

I'm sure we've got a spare physio table he can use. He has been great at times but this guy can get injured getting out of bed

Past his best already. Can't track back quick enough and can't cross a ball to save his life well done

If he really wants to leave then sell him. He has been terrible all season and seems like he's lost interest in playing here. Quality player when he's up to it but his performances say otherwise lately. Ronaldo, messi, Neymar, Suarez, bale, Robben are all better players than Hazard. He has the quality to be at their level but he doesn't seem to be improving here at the moment. If if we sell him we must have a quality replacement lined up, no panic buying

Ideally...... Striker CB Box to box midfielder A decent AM would be nice

Fuckinghell I forgot about when we got dicked by Spurs last NY