Special Juan

All home wins apart from Fener.

Camel toe of a Teletubbie?

Yaya signs a new deal with City....Surprise surprise eh.

Ha Ha yes, yes I did. You could of kissed her boobs all day and not touch the same place twice.

Go and do one with your sunny climates and nice view god damn it.

I can confirm it's cold. I just seen a woman walk past me and I swear her nipples where like tractor starter buttons.

2-0 win would be lovely, and we are well capable of that. I don't like this competition but no way in hell am I hoping we get knocked out. Mon the Chels.

Yilmaz 40M? I will give them a fiver and a packet of Haribos.

Don't know why Gala turned up, they should of just cancelled the flight and stayed at home and told UEFA they were all poorly.

Stick a fork in them, Gala are done.

Drogba looks ready for bed.

Cake walk for Madrid, they could send out a five a side team and still win this.

That's 200K if you include both posts

Tarts do it as often as lads don't worry about that. They love the old Kit Kat handshake.

And I got pelted for saying students are wankers.

Redtube, Babestation and Red Hot Mums xxx, ya can't beat the channel 900's on SKY

It's over rated mate. The sex becomes less and the expense more.

She has drove the romance out of me, we have hallway sex now.....We pass each other and I say "Fuck you" she replies "Fuck you as well"

A Vax steam mop for the wife, she has bugged the shit out of me for one of these.....I at least expect a shag for that alone.

Fair dos....this is where the black screen comes up and displays "To be continued"

It's a perfect scenario isn't it? She is terribly upset, you move in and comfort her, next thing you are kissing each other and in the blink of an eye you are licking the honey pot like a dog laps water. BOOOM!!

The funny thing is, Bayern were piss poor against Arsenal at The Allianz and Juve where poo last night.

Be calm, relax, look interested, buy the drinks, tell her she looks stunning and later on knock her back doors in with all your mite.

Juventus where horrible last night but to be fair to them the offside decision was a joke and Ribery should of walked for his tackle. The English officials got it so wrong last night, but no doubt someone will receive a back hander to help Juve through.

Chelsea phones Porto about Martinez......Porto reply with..."His clause is 200M euro" we reply "Good luck at Zenit Mr Martinez" No, just no thank you.