Leif

Mikel comes back - Torres gets hardly any service after him getting quite allot during Mikel's absence. This is not a coincidence. Please no stat talk. I honestly do not care if Mikel can pass the ball 1mph faster than Xabi Alonso or tackle slightly better than Anelka. I just don't.

Can Mikel not go faster than 2mph?

Surely our white kit will have much more chance of clashing with Norwich's green/yellow kit compared to our blue kit?

@Rmpr, You ruined my moment You're cheating since you're actually from Brazil

Robinho is set to sign for Flamengo. A huge slap in the face to his earlier club Santos. Pato's departure now looks slightly less likely, but still possible. (The move to Corinthians.)

XI: Cech; Azpi, Cahill, Ivanovic, Cole; Mikel, Luiz; Moses, Oscar, Mata; Torres. Subs: Turnbull, Ake, Ferreira, Lampard, Marin, Hazard, Piazon

If we fail to win today I may go outside and write "fuck Norwich" on a wall with my pee purely out of rage.

@Rmpr, If i suddenly killed myself by pushing too hard during a poo, you'd miss me. Don't deny it.

After all the food I've consumed today, I must say, I'm rather scared about my next trip to the toilet. Hopefully though I'll be able to break my record of a 2.2lb poo!

No one rape me for saying this please, but although not a good option for the long-term compared to Falcao, I actually believe that David Villa is the superior finisher.

Makes sense we'd be in for Villa. He's 'magically' not been selected for games since returning to fitness and the out-of-form Sanchez has kept on starting ahead of him!

I splashed out on myself slightly more than usual. Got a few things from a relative or two. Myself:- iPhone 5 New weights Ciroc Vodka Cocktail Making Kit Football Manager 2013 Gendarme Aftershave (best thing ever.) Hip flask Scarf (in Chelsea's colours, of course.) From Others:- Cuban Cigar (sssshhhh) Some weird expensive red wine A whisky with a honey liqueur Absolut Vodka White football boots signed by Eden Hazard (I'm jealous of myself for having these. I hope they're not fake I'll try and post a pic later.) Massage vouchers

I just received a few bottles of Absolut Vodka. Can anyone give a personal comparison between Absolut and Smirnoff?

Pretty much the king when it comes to Serie A-related transfer news: @tancredipalmeri

Shit, looks like I was right. Sneijder has agreed in theory to join Tottenham as they're interested (in loaning him) and he loves the look of London. Inter want him out on loan as they won't play him but also can't sell him until Summer (because the only teams who can afford him don't want him this January). Sneijder has apparently 'agreed a deal in principle' with Tottenham, but Tottenham and Inter are trying to negotiate something. Schalke apparently want to sign him in Summer, while PSG's interest has cooled. If the loan move at Tottenham goes well, Sneijder would be open to a permanent move and a pay-cut.

That's what I thought at first. I'm guessing that if this deal happens, they'll pay half the wages while Inter pay the other half, and then Inter will sell him off to PSG or someone in the Summer.

I think Sneijder's off to Tottenham on loan. (Don't laugh at me. I'll have the last laugh.)

After all this random talk of Sneijder, news will be released at around 1:45am UK time regarding which Premier League club he is in talks with...

I agree with the above actually ^^^ Sneijder would be on hideous wages, but if Lampard and Cole are to go we need an experienced player, and really, Sneijder is in his prime IMO. He's simply not getting to show it at Inter due to his contract dispute. I'm assuming he'll end up at PSG, but he'd be very welcome here in my opinion. Rotating Mata/Oscar/Hazard/Sneijder.... fuck. I just came.

Early Christmas present for myself. Don't ask how I got it. I had to do very dirty things which I regret... Anyway, I was actually wanting the coconut flavour, but this'll do!

Holt, Bennett and Whittaker are all doubtful. Surman and Ruddy are out.

Because they get to play every week at other teams...... Chalobah has 16 league appearances this season while McEachran has 22....would they have got those numbers if they stayed with us? No. So how would they develop? You don't just magically unlock your potential in training, regardless how many top players are around you. Kalas has over 40 league appearances for Vitesse, De Bruyne nearly 20 for Werder Bremen, Lukaku 16 for West Brom and van Aanholt 20 for Vitesse. Loans are essential for a top team.

I'm loving him at centre back. When he's played at right back for a few games and then centre back, he's looked shakey. But now they he's starting there regularly he's really filling his potential finally IMO.

1: Walcott is not a winger or an 'AM'. 2: We have only 1 winger if you count Moses. 2 if you count Malouda in the reserves. 3 if you count Hazard being played out of position as a 'winger'. 4 if you include Marin who doesn't really play for us at all. 3: We need more English/homegrown players in the squad. Name one better and available English player for us. Unless you think registering Saville for our senior team is better than buying Walcott, of course.

So - which clubs do we think would be suitable for a loan for him? I don't want him going to Vitesse or abroad at all; we need him to get used to the English game a bit more still. An npower Championship team who're lacking up-front would be ideal. Do any teams come to mind for anyone?