BlueLion.

In the 95th minute? In front of the Shed? A huge fucking deflection as well? DREAM.

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Emenalo could have sold Tal ben Haim to Bayern Munich for £100 million plus Schweinsteiger.

It'd enhance them, IMO. I love Cesc but you have to field the eleven players most suited to the challenge. You'd swap Luis for Azpilicueta on the basis of needing a more defensive-minded full-back; why not change one of your pivot midfielders when one of them can offer more defensive support and has the legs to support us on the counter-attack? Against a team like City, Cesc will never have the space he needs to weave his magic. Even less so if he isn't 100% fit.

It'll be nothing but positive.

Brace yourselves - "de Bruyne is better than Pele" posts are incoming. EDIT - shit, too late. SAVE YOURSELVES. Yes, he played well today. But he wouldn't play like that for us. He isn't a Mourinho-type player. We can always re-sign him if we really want to.

It is inconsistency to the most extreme degree. Vertonghen throttled a defender on Wednesday. Where's his ban?

A Chelsea player could rescue a baby from the 15th floor of a collapsing, burning building and would be suspended for five matches for causing the child a trauma.

Diego Costa has been banned for his alleged stamp on Emre Can in Tuesday's Capital One Cup semi-final triumph over Liverpool. In what is quite simply a farcical decision, this move by the FA only serves to add fuel to the fire of José Mourinho's view that there is a media "campaign against Chelsea". Despite numerous pundits and former footballers, including Gary Lineker, Thierry Henry and Paul Scholes, all leaping to Costa's defence, the FA have, for some reason, viewed that Costa's movement was deliberate and dangerous towards the grounded Can, who was on the floor following a fifty-fifty challenge with the Spain international. In spite of the best attempts of the Liverpool bench to get Costa sent off, referee Michael Oliver - whose horror showing on Tuesday saw him deny the Blues two clear penalties and allow Lucas and Jordan Henderson to stay on the pitch despite an accumulation of fouls - did not include the incident in his match report, allowing the FA to take retrospective punishment. The 26-year-old will miss Saturday's Premier League clash with Manchester City at Stamford Bridge as well as games against Aston Villa and Everton. Costa can have the media, including brainwashed morons such as Stan Collymore, to thank for his suspension as his - clearly accidental - "stamp" was prominent amongst Sky Sports' and the BBC's highlights coverage of the match. There was, typically, no mention of in the first leg, or of Lazar Markovic's attempted elbow on Filipe Luis. Maybe José is right about a "campaign" after all. When Chelsea are on the receiving end, we all know nothing will be done. Just ask Sergio Aguero. Click here to view the article

https://twitter.com/Cuadrado/favorites

Could be registered and squad numbered for all we know. We all know how ninjaesque Chelsea are with transfers.

Juan CUADRADO A 27 year-old winger or wide midfielder from Colombia, Juan Guillermo Cuadrado Bello arrived at Chelsea in January 2015 for a fee of £23.3 million. A full Colombian international, Juan has made 37 appearances for his country, scoring five goals, including the opening goal from the penalty spot in a 4-1 defeat of Japan at the 2014 FIFA World Cup. Juan is an excellent and speedy dribbler of the ball, often winning fouls for his fleet-footedness, and is noted for trying his luck by shooting from distance - often with devastating consequences for the opposition. After weeks of persistent rumours, it was announced on January 30 that Cuadrado had agreed personal terms with Chelsea, and that the two clubs had finally agreed on a transfer fee, most likely to be around £23.3 million. Fiorentina could receive up to an additional £3.3 million through performance-related add-ons. His shirt number has yet to be decided, but it is highly likely that he will compete with Willian for a position on the right wing, or, could alternatively replace Oscar in the side and operate either in place of the Brazilian in a central role, or move over to the left to give Eden Hazard a more prominent role behind the forward. His versatility has seen him play in a number of positions for Fiorentina, including right-back and as a deep-lying midfielder, but he has been targeted by José Mourinho to offer a degree of dynamism to the Blues' attack with his explosive pace and dribbling. Everyone at TalkChelsea wishes Juan the best of luck in his time with Chelsea Football Club. You can read Juan's transfer talk thread by clicking here.

The transfer of Juan Cuadrado to Chelsea is edging ever closer, according to the BBC. Their reporter, Ben Smith, has today suggested that the Blues are close to agreeing to a £23.3 million deal to bring the Colombian winger to the club from Fiorentina. The Colombian has already agreed personal terms with the Premier League leaders and the clubs are concluding the final details of the move. The Fiorentina star fuelled speculation today by removing a link to the Serie A club's Twitter page from his Twitter bio, at the same time as favouriting a tweet congratulating him on a move to the West Londoners. The total fee, with add-ons, could eventually be £26.8m - a figure that matches Cuadrado's release clause at the Italian club. Mohamed Salah is likely to go on loan to Fiorentina as part of the deal. However, Egyptian winger Salah has yet to decide on a move to Serie A, with AS Roma ending their interest in the former Basel man last week. The Egypt international now appears likely to see out the season in Florence, with the Violas manager Vincenzo Montella apparently encouraged by his anticipated arrival]. He is a good player, a very interesting player", added the Fiorentina coach. He is a strong winger". If discussions conclude swiftly, the winger - who starred in last summer's World Cup - could even arrive in London for a medical on Friday. Cuadrado's imminent arrival also means Chelsea's 24-year-old German forward Andre Schurrle is now almost certain to leave Stamford Bridge before Monday's transfer deadline, with VfL Wolfsburg a likely destination. Until then we have some long hours and days to kill. Red flush casino has over 500 of the best Microgaming casino games to choose from, so it might help. Give it a try. Click here to view the article

According to SSN, he's facing another FA ban for having the gall to knock Liverpool out of a cup.

The Cuadrado signing will be announced before KO, leading to Willian putting in the greatest performance the Premier League has ever seen, scoring five times and setting up a further eighteen but the game is later declared null and void by the FA who award the win to City, deduct Chelsea ten points for having the gall to win and imposing automatic relegation down to League Two. Also everyone report Stan Collymore on Twitter. Twat.

I'm sorry, but there is no way that at this current moment in time and for any time in the foreseeable future than Jeremie Boga will be anything near as good as Raheem Sterling. Take those blue spectacles off.

A glowing advertisement for a shit airline

I agree, I think we'll be on a real high, which will counteract the fact we played extra time. In fact we didn't really play extra time. We played for four minutes, crushed Liverpool's hopes in one moment, and then played keep-ball for 26 minutes.

Not sure if League Cup semi-final or some shitty porn film.

The FA will make (another) exception for us. Terry proven not guilty in a court of law and still banned. Mourinho constantly hounded and goaded by the media and made an example of, whilst Wenger and Pellegrini can slag off who they want. Costa appeals his ban, you can't prove he means it - and the FA adds an extra two games to the ban, having sped up his hearing to make sure he can't play in the City game. CAMPAIGN AGAINST CHELSEA.

Been blocked by Collymore on Twitter hahahahaha

Just call me Kim Kardashian. I can break the internet.