BlueLion.

Please be true. David the person - I absolutely adore him. Infectious personality, absolute geezer. Worth £100 million. David the defender - drives me insane. Capable of brilliance - equally capable of absolute disaster. Worth a lot less. €45 million is a ridiculous amount of profit for us, and means we can actually sign a defender. Yes, a defender. Someone who kicks the cunting ball away, rather than tries to Ronaldo past everyone.

He is absolutely shit. I'm sorry. I simply cannot see why he is rated. Well, it's obviously because he's English, but he is absolutely useless. As for the person who said he's "strong", can you not remember when JUAN MATA outmuscled him at WHL to set up Sturridge for the fourth goal in the 4-2? He has a couple of things going for him - his speed/pace is electric, and he is good on the recovery challenge. He also possessed a good shot. But besides that, he is distinctly average. His decision making is absolutely terrible, and the only reason his recovery challenge is so good is because he gets to practice it so often and he gets absolutely fucked over by anyone, genuinely anyone, who can match him for pace. I genuinely think Azpilicueta is better in every single department. If Azpi was English, he'd be worth £40 million, simple.

All the Gooners I know absolutely adore Mata, Hazard and Oscar. Almost everyone I know thinks Petr Cech is the world's best goalkeeper and that Ashley Cole is still one of the best full-backs. But most do agree John Terry is the spawn of Satan, and since he has rubber-stamped his legendary status and it is now fashionable to like him, they all brown-nose Lampard as well. Despite being one of the most-hated teams in the country, in the Midlands, Chelsea are relatively well-liked.

I'm just going to call him Andy.

Petr's new gloves: I'm really excited about these. As you can see, there is a secondary green strap running diagonally. This is to tighten the backhand, meaning the glove won't become loose when the palm is straightened. Absolutely ingenious.

I don't know Hughes the best at this game, or Weah the Foulke this topic is going, so I'm going to drown Myers sorrows at the Ba. If I have one too many, someone might need to Petrescu me. xxx

Why the fuck are you Robben my jokes?

These puns are fucking Terry-ble.

/thread.

£18.5 million (approx.) for this guy isn't that bad, in all fairness. Not when you consider Ashley Young and Jordan Henderson both went for more.

Kacaniklic is apparently on his way out of Fulham and he is really their only genuine wide player - Duff plays quite narrowly these days as he's lost a yard or two of pace. Marin would be a good alternative on loan for them, and it would be a deal of mutual benefit.

^ risky!

Yeah, that's their starting XI. Cech - Azpi, Ivanovic, Luiz, Cole - Ramires, Lampard, Oscar, Mata, Hazard - Torres Our's isn't too bad, either. Look at Bayern's bench. Do they have world-class players there, and in their reserves as well? No, they just have damned-good squad players like van Buyten, Pizarro, Shaqiri and Tymoshchuk.

Liverpool trying to sign youth players from big clubs. Shows they've finally accepted their mid-table status.

As a matter of principle I wouldn't sell Barcelona my toe-nail clippings, let alone one of our players.

Sorry Barcelona, we're not Arsenal. We don't sell our players.

He was underwhelming when he played - but he wasn't given a fair chance. Playing in his first season away from Germany in a new league surely must have been difficult for him, and not even playing him must have shattered his confidence. We're short on wingers, so we might as well give him a fucking chance.

Kalou.

A lot of reports suggesting he's signed a five-year-deal for SL Benfica - including the official FIFA website. The official Benfica website says the same, with no mention of Chelsea. However Sky Sports are running a story claiming he is our player - the five-year-deal quoted is actually the one he's signed with Chelsea, and he has been loaned. Those are the words of the Partizan Belgrade president. Other sources such as the Express, are also running this line.

Can you get back on topic please, ergo, talk about Edinson Cavani. Thank you.

^ all articles are proof-read by a member of staff before being published!

No I'd actually be very happy with that, I only have the time to write articles every now and again. It's easy during the summer as I'm off university, but during term-time it is moreorless impossible.

Reports coming out of Spain this morning suggest that Blues midfielder Oriol Romeu could be heading to La Liga on loan next season. The Spanish tabloid Faro de Vigo suggests that Romeu may be heading out of the Stamford Bridge exit door - albeit only a temporary basis - as he looks to improve his fitness following a serious knee injury that sidelined the Catalan starlet for the best part of six months. The report suggests Romeu may indeed head to La Liga side Celta Vigo on a season-long loan deal as new boss José Mourinho shuffles his squad ahead of the new season. With Romeu seemingly on his way out, there are also question-marks over the future of the club's only other out-and-out defensive midfielder - John Mikel Obi - who, in the eyes of many Chelsea fans endured a torrid time of things under Rafael Benitez last term. With the departure of Michael Essien on loan to Real Madrid, and Raul Meireles' big-money move to Fenerbahce in the summer, the 2012/13 campaign was supposed to be the breakthrough season for Romeu; but sadly injury intervened. After being a favourite of Andre Villas-Boas before his departure in March 2012, Romeu was kept on the sidelines by the form of his team-mates under Roberto di Matteo - but the departure of two direct rivals for his position suggested that di Matteo was ready to offer the young Spaniard a starring role at the European champions. A couple of promising early-season displays - including a well-taken penalty in a 6-0 thumping of Wolverhampton Wanderers in the Capital One Cup - suggested that Romeu may well take his chance, but with his reported departure supposedly imminent as he seeks to recover both form and fitness, the door may well be opened for new arrivals. Michael Essien may indeed be returning, but he was utilised almost exclusively as a full-back at Real Madrid by José Mourinho. Necessity may dictate that he returns to his old defensive-midfield position, but with issues raised over his once-famed stamina and fitness, it seems more than likely Essien will fulfil little more than a squad role. Even with the suggestion that Mikel may have passed his best, the Nigerian best-suits the style of formation opted for by Mourinho, and may find his fortunes rekindled under the man who signed him in 2006 - even so, the Blues would still be a man light in the centre of the park. Intensive media reports have suggested that Roma vice-captain Daniele de Rossi may be a man Mourinho is targeting to take over in the defensive midfield role. The all-action midfielder - capped 85 times by Italy to date - has reportedly been told he would be allowed to leave the Italian capital should the price be right. The price, it would seem, would be the only stumbling block here - whilst some media outlets suggest that a fee of around £10-12 million would secure the deal, Manchester City last summer had a £23.5 million offered turned down. The Italian would certainly by a versatile and dynamic addition to the Chelsea squad, and would certainly add a physicality to the Chelsea midfield that has been missing since the departures of Claude Makelele and Michael Ballack in 2008 and 2010 respectively. Whether de Rossi is indeed the man Mourinho is targeting or not, the form of Mikel, the injury concerns surrounding Essien and the supposed departure of Romeu does certainly point in the direction of imminent investment in centre-midfield. Click here to view the article

And how many of those players have we got even a microcosm of signing?

Excellent article, mate. Thought you were a little too generous with some of the ratings for my taste - but like all good analysts you back up your opinion emphatically with evidence and well-thought-out evaluation. Just one tiny, tiny, tiny nitpick - for Moses, the goal you were showing is against Rubin, not Basel! Superb article.